On the Season of Awards

In which we reflect back on some of the momentous occasions of the past year.


It's award season again, or at least it was¹. The Oscars have come and gone and praise has been placed upon actors, directors, producers, and others in the film industry. I hate movie awards, you can read all about it here.

This year, however, I am going to handout some awards of my own.

• Most Badass Hero That Might Also Be Autistic, Maybe - Ryan Gosling (the Driver), Drive

• Best On-Screen Duo - James McAvoy & Micheal Fassbender (Professor X & Magneto), X-Men: First Class

• Best Movie That the Trailer Made Look Terrible - Rise of the Planet of the Apes

• Most Likely to Remind You of the Wire - Attack the Block

• Most Forgetable Blockbuster - Cowboys & Aliens²

• MRR (Most Rediculous Runner) - Tom Cruise (Ethan Hunt), Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

• Least Favorite Movie - Sherlock Holmes

• Rookie of the Year - John Boyega, Attack the Block

• Most Magical Film Experience - Hugo (in 3D)

• Most Hottest Actor³ - Chris Helmsworth, Thor

• Most Cutest Actress - Jodie Whittaker, Attack the Block

__________________________________________________________

¹ Honesty time, this post was supposed to be written over a week ago

² No joke, as I was thinking of these I forgot about Cowboys & Aliens and almost awarded it to a different movie

³ Thanks Colleen for the award name

On A Very Nerdy Birthday Request

In which a new birthday request is granted, a list is made, and things get geeky.


My friend Brendan, aka B-Carl, aka Beez, aka Professor Beezley¹, made a request for a birthday blog post. His request: "Why Marvel is better than DC." If you didn't know, these are two comic book companies. Marvel is responsible for: Iron Man, Spider-Man, the X-men, and the Avengers. DC is responsible for: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman².

You're about the reach your geek quota for the day. Hold on to your butts.

Top Ten Reasons Marvel is Better than DC³.

Number 10: Runaway teenagers fight crime with their psychic dinosaur.

Number 9: Luke Cage and Dr. Doom have a frank discussion⁴. 

Number 8: Criminal, some of the best stories I've ever read, in any medium.

Number 7: Syllable counting heroes = adorable.  

Number 6: Mustache buddies.

Number 5, Part I: You are going to want to make this big...

Number 5, Part II: Seriously, it's insane⁵.

Number 4: I love that the dudes watch their friend get kicked through a train.

Number 3: Devil Dinosaur and Moon-Boy, I don't need to add anything else.

Number 2: Stop. Deadpool time.

Number 1: Kate Beaton does Marvel!

__________________________________________________________
¹ Okay, so no one has called him this. Yet...
² Some real original names these authors came up with
³ In no particular order
⁴ Ah the 70's.
⁵ And I don't mean that the art is insanely good, though it is, I mean that it's something a crazy person would dream up

On Random Thoughts Part IV: Widdle Baby Gets Her Way

In which we, unexpectedly, return to random topic jumping.

Last week, after I got home from work, I saw that Sarah Street had left me a Facebook message suggesting topics for the blog post I had just finished. I told her she was too late, she told me that I should make a post that covers her suggestions. Now I'm not one to cater to the whims of the masses¹, but she had some good suggestions, so here we go.

Sarah says, "Write about..."

The Grammys - I'm not an awards show guys, and I'm not really much of a music guy either. Which isn't to say I don't like music, I just tend to listen to things people suggest, or to music made by people I know, so I'm usually out of the loop about the big artists of the year. So needless to say I don't really care about the Grammys, like, at all. I was shocked to see that Kanye was up for some awards, not because I didn't think he deserved to be, but rather because it seems like his album came out forever ago as opposed to last January².

Gardens - My most vivid garden memories involve both of my grandparents' gardens. My grandpa Joe (mom's dad) had a garden up in Wisconson, and more than anything I can remember that he grew beets and would pickle them, so everytime we went to visit we would eat beets out of mason jars. I loved them, but we never had beets any other time, or any other way, until recently when I started roasting them. My grandparents on my dad's side (Kenneth and Katherine) had a garden as well, I remember it was on the other end of their property by a creek. To get there you could either walk through the woods or follow a long path all the way down from the house³. I can still picture sitting on my grandfathers lap as we drove the riding mower down to the garden, everything about their backyard has a mystical glow about it in my mind. I also saved my sisters life once when she almost fell in to the creek, I only bring this up now because if she is reading this I want her to remember it when she is comes to a later item.

Olympics - Let's get this out of the way right up front: The Winter Olympics are way better than Summer. Curling alone would do it, but add in an event where you ski and then shoot targets, or guys flying down an icy mountain as fast as they can on a tiny sled, it's just way more exciting. I guess the Summer Olympics are coming up with year, maybe I'll try and watch some soccer⁴. Maybe.

Favorite 90's singers - In the early 90's it was easily Boyz II Men, who are one of three artists to replace themselves as #1 on the Billboard top hundred⁵. In the later 90's I was more into alternative rock (or Alt-Rock if you will). Groups like Cake, Sublime (who were really more Ska-Punk), Green Day, The Offspring.

Most useless article of clothing - Thinking about this as a guy was tough, I feel like there isn't much we have to wear that doesn't serve a purpose. However, I did come up with two things. One that I've warn and one that I haven't. Vests, either sweater or suit, are kind of dumb, just put some sleeves on there. Sock garters, I don't know if any men still use these⁶, but we've got elastic now, your socks will stay up on their own. The vests are what I have worn.

Buffet Lines - Years ago, when I was on staff with Young Life, I asked one of the students that I knew what he wanted to do for his birthday. He told me that he wanted to go to the Black Buggy Amish Buffet in Washington IN, which was like an hour away. It was summer so I said, "Sure." So Nick (the student), his friend, a co-leader of mine (also Nick) and I drove up to Washington to get Black Buggy. The thing you need to realize is that Black Buggy has the best buffet ever. It's legitimate Amish food which means it is a) delicious and b) very, very heavy. What makes this story more ridiculous is that we ate, then immediately headed back down to Newburgh because there was a Ultimate Frisbee game that evening. Eating at a buffet, driving an hour, then playing Frisbee was not the best decision I've ever made. Food was good though.

Circus Peanuts - What idiot invented these? They have everything going against them: bad taste⁷, gross texture, sad looking. When you eat them you end up feeling like you wasted your time and come out a worse person. They are the Michael Moore of candy.

The MLS - I've never seen an MLS game, I'd like to at some point. I think it would be a fun experience.

My wedding - I'm taking this to mean Sarah's wedding, not my wedding. And that's going to get me into some trouble. My sister got married last October, the wedding was down in Nashville, TN. It was an amazing weekend, I had a fantastic time, the food was great, we took pictures all around the city, the venue for the reception was phenomenal, my sister was as beautiful as any bride has ever been, and as an added bonus, she married a great guy. I say all that so that you will understand how serious I am when I tell you that when Tim and Sarah got married a month later it was the BEST wedding I've ever been to (dear sister, please remember that I once saved your life). It was a great combination of lots of friends, lots of dancing, lots of beer, great food, face plants, post wedding hangout, reunions, laughing, and them more dancing. This picture sums it up pretty well.

Photo by Cathy & David Photographers
http://www.cathydavidphoto.com/

So congratulations Tim and Sarah, my sister probably hates me now.

Steve Martin - You know what movie I really love? Bowfinger. Here's some things it's got going for it: Steve Martin being funny, Eddie Murphy being funny (surprisingly), Yoda directs⁸ it, rips on Scientology, Heather Graham doesn't ruin it (surprisingly), a great Robert Downey Jr cameo. I wonder if it's on Netflix Instant view?

The color orange - Would that be a 2 wing 3, or a 3 wing 2?

__________________________________________________________
¹ Oh, wait. That is totally what I do
² Technically, the January before last
³ It probably wasn't as long as I remember, but I was much smaller then
⁴ Or football, if you rather
⁵ The others were The Beatles and Elvis
⁶ Other than to denote stereotypical rich guys in movies
⁷ Taste is the most important part
⁸ Frank Oz, who was the voice and puppet master for both Yoda and Fozzie Bear

On Random Thoughts Part III: The Returnering

In which a multitude of topics are covered in no particular order whatsoever...

I recently finished reading The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, I had forgotten how dry a lot of Tolkien's writing is, especially after (spoiler alert) the ring is destroyed but before the scouring of the Shire. The Shire chapter is great, however, and along with the Dúnedain riding with Aragorn represent two of the moments I was most sad to not see in the movies¹.

Huck asked: "Is it creepy to go to a high school basketball game if you don't have kids or never went to that school but you just love basketball?" Not if you live in Indiana. Unfortunately Huck just moved to Alaska, I don't think they even know what basketball is up there. I hope you like sled dog racing and ice fishing Huck.

Daniel Radcliffe, you are officially on notice². You gave an interview recently in which you complained about Hugo getting nominated for an Oscar while HPDHPII did not. Look, bro, HPDHPII was a serviceable conclusion to the HP saga, it was a giant summer spectacle that entertained for the two hours I was in the theater. What it was not: one of the best movies of the year, one of the best movies of the summer, heck, it wasn't even the best HP movie. Hugo meanwhile was a beautiful story that pushed the boundaries of a new medium of film making³, it was probably the best movie I saw this year and while I don't think it will win Best Picture it deserves to be in the running (and to win).

Sara Trombley's awesome son, Luke, asked me to blog about scary monster and Voltron. Voltron, for those you who are out of the loop, is a giant super-robot that is made up of five smaller lion robots. Each lion is piloted by a human member of the Voltron Force, they fly through space busting the heads of nogoodnicks and scoundrels alike. If things get tough they combine into Voltron, go teamwork. Scary monsters are monsters that are scary⁴. In a fight between scary monsters and Voltron, Voltron would win 10 out of 10 times, because Voltron is a good guy and they always win and because scary monsters are big dumb heads.

Bonus Voltron fun facts: 1) Voltron was created by taking a Japanese show, Beast King GoLion⁵, and editing it and writing new stories. B) I had a Voltron toy when I was a kid, it's made of plastic and metal, it clocks in at about 2-3 pounds despite only being a foot tall. Last one) Each lion resided in a different environment.

One of the best movies to watch with someone who hasn't seen it is The Usual Suspects. I wish I could go back in time and watch it again without knowing anything about. In high school some friends of mine were over and we had rented this but I wasn't really paying attention, someone said that if I wasn't going to actually watch it I should just turn it off. That was some of the best advice I've ever received in my life.

I asked TaraB what I should write about, she said, "probably kittens." If you were hoping you could use that as your blog's name, too late, some girl took it, but she only wrote once last May, so maybe she will give it to you. However, your band, album, or book can all be named "Probably Kittens" if you want and you won't run into copy-write issues. Is your cat mysteriously getting fat? Probably kittens⁶.

I don't know if you heard, but the Indianapolis Colts had a rough year, after which they cleaned house, Jim Irsay fired just about everyone he could. Now the question is which players will be returning, with Manning obviously being the biggest question. Irsay has been running his mouth a lot, or his twitter, and has repeatedly made an ass of himself and many think Manning is on his way out of Indy. Here's the thing, Manning made the Colts relevant, he is the greatest quarterback of his generation, possibly any, he deserves to end his career as a coach. No one has asked me what I would do in this situation, but based on what I've read this is what I would suggest: Step one) Manning has offered to restructure his deal to be a pay-for-play option, do this. Then roll the dice with Manning, it's risky but a player like Manning is worth it. Step two) trade the first pick, lots of teams want Luck the Colts probably get three picks this draft and three next year as well, then you build your team. The most important step is no matter what he decides Isray needs to keep his mouth shut. Jim Irsay, consider yourself on notice.

Tim Street says, "calvinism."  I don't know if I'm a calvinist in the purest sense⁷, but we do see eye to eye on a few topics.

Motivation

The Education System

Simplicity

Calvin has some...interesting views on life.

Back to LotR. I think this is my favorite quote from all of the books:

There are many things in the deep waters; and seas and lands may change. And it is not our part here to take thought only for a season, or for a few lives of men, or for a passing age of the world. We should seek a final end of this menace, even if we do not hope to make one. - Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring, 319

Sparkles says, "I think you should write...about why the commerce clause is the basis for nearly every constitutional question the supreme court considers." We must first consider commerce as a concept and then take into account the inherent ramifications on both the national and the international zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

_________________________________________________________
¹ But not at all surprised
² That would be the official "D-Bag Warning Notice"
³ It was seriously the most original use of 3D that I've seen in a film
⁴  It's also the title of David Bowe's 1980 album
⁵ Apparently the animation company originally wanted a different show about a giant lion-based super-robot but were sent this one instead
⁶ Unless it's a boy cat, then probably not
⁷ I'm more of a Hobbesist if anything

On Next Weeks Blog Post

In which a tease and a request are made.


Next week I am going to write a post containing short random thoughts. I've done it twice before (here and here) and it is way more fun if people suggest topics for me to write about. So if there is something you want me to ramble about, or just have a question that you want me to answer, please let me know. I guarantee to answer every question¹ and respond to every comment².

Lay'em on me.
___________________________________________________________
¹ Questions may be answered inaccurately and/or dishonestly.
² You've got till next Wednesday to send me requests.

On Birthday Wishes

In which the long standing tradition of writing a blog post for a birthday continues.


We are fast approaching February the second. Which, as any long time readers will know, means that the topic for this week's post was suggested by my good friend Seth Rowe¹. Previous examples can be found here and here².

This year, when I asked Seth what he would like me to write about he asked me to have "a point-counterpoint blog about television. one pro-television and one anti-television³" that would span across two different blogs. I thought about it, considered who I would turn to to act as the second blogger⁴, thought about what I would say for each side of the argument, and then (in keeping with the birthday-blog tradition) took the idea and ran with it⁵.

Here's what I came up with. Happy Birthday Seth⁶.

Click on the images to make them bigger.

It is probably not all that surprising, but my view on the issue is a combination of both of the main characters monologues. Hope you enjoyed my arts⁷.
__________________________________________________________
¹ I'd link you to Seth's blog, but he doesn't blog frequently enough, so I've enacted a linking embargo
² The links are chronological
³ Quote courtesy of our G-Chat
⁴ Since I usually use Sarah Street's blog as a muse I was going to ask her to co-author with me
⁵ Like in a good game of charades, taking ideas and running with them Jimmy Mann style is a cornerstone of this blog
⁶ Isn't it amazing that I was able to fit so many footnotes into such a small block of text?
⁷ If you'd ever like your birthday present to be a blog post all you have to do is ask

On Teasing Your Brain

In which a last minute alternative is brought forth...


I had a totally different post written, unfortunately it was insanely boring. I was bored writing it, I was even more bored when I proof read it¹. So right before I hit the publish button I pulled the plug. Trust me, we're all better off.

When I started my job back in October I decided to do a daily brain teaser. I spent about a week, or so, scouring various sources for brain teasers that I could use. I came up with 99 total and at this point I've got about 40 left to use. My sources included: the interwebs, The Hobbit, a brain teaser board-game, co-workers, students. Most were average, some were not very good at all, a few, I think, are pretty good. Here are some of my favorites.

1) Using the numbers 1-8 (each number only once) fill in the circles so that the numbers add up to the total in each shape.

2) A man who lives on the tenth floor takes the elevator down to the first floor every morning and goes to work. In the evening, when he comes back, on a rainy day, or if there are other people in the elevator, he goes to his floor directly. Otherwise, he goes to the seventh floor and walks up the remaining three flights of stairs to his apartment. Why?

3) There are three light bulbs in a room with no windows and only one door, which is closed. Outside of the room there are three switches. You can turn the switches off and on as many times as you choose, but can only open the door once. Once the door is open you can no longer touch the switches. How can you determine with light bulb corresponds with which switch?

4) What is a five letter word, in the English language, whose pronunciation isn't changed when you remove four of it's letters?

5) Which side of the line would 'Z' be on?
                                                             
  A        EF  HI  KLMN            T   VWXY
     BCD    G    J           OPQRS  U


6) Which direction is the bus moving²?

If you have any brain teasers let me know³.
__________________________________________________________
¹ It may come as a surprise but I do proof read.
² Aren't my paint skills amazing?
³ I'll bet I've already got it though.