On Companion Pieces

In which reading is required before we can begin


Earlier this week my friend, Sarah Street, wrote a blog post about the movies she was looking forward to watching this year. I had considered writing a similar post of my own, but decided against it. Then when I read hers I thought it would be fun to write a response to her choices here instead of in her comments. So the first thing that you need to do is go and read her post. She will introduce the movies and give her thoughts, both of which you will need to know to fully enjoy this post¹. Check it out here.


Dr. Seuss's The Lorax (March 2)



Zac Efron is never a selling point, ever. The best thing he ever did was a bit part in Firefly and even then he was a little obnoxious. Also, when I watch this and hear Danny DeVito's voice all I can think of is Frank Reynolds on It's Always Sunny.


2 - The Hunger Games (March 23)



I've got huge hopes for Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss (if you doubt me go rent Winters Bone). I'm still curious as to how this movie will deal with the subject matter, because as Sarah mentioned it is gruesome. Hopefully they strike a good balance between the need to show violence, as it is integral to the plot, without it being remorseless and gratuitous. Also, Sarah, Peeta is 16, that's gross.


1 - The Avengers (May 4)



Ironically, I thought that Tom Hiddleston's Loki was one of the best parts of Thor, so I'm psyched that he is coming back. Also, I can't imagine a director more well suited than Joss Whedon to get a great performance out of an ensemble cast. It's hard to imagine all of these characters on screen at the same time, it will be awesome.


Snow White and the Huntsman (June 1)



How can we make the story of Snow White more hip? Let's combine the Huntsman character with Aragorn (1:07). And throw in some Braveheart war scenes (0:15). Creepy, naked milk bath (0:39)? Why not. Last but not least, lets add some dragons (1:05) and trolls (1:27). Success! Also, this is totally shallow of me, but I'm sorry Charlize Theron is way more attractive than Kristen Stewert. That mirror is crazy.


3 - Prometheus (June 8)



Magneto, Ed Exley and effing Stringer Bell² all in the same movie? Yes, please. Also, during production they modeled all of the sets after sets in the original Alien so it shouldn't have the Star Wars prequel effect³. From what I've read most people are very excited for this.


The Amazing Spider-Man (July 3)



I don't know how I feel about this movie yet. I think (hope) that Andrew Garfield will be good as Peter Parker and I totally trust Emma Stone as Gwen Stacey. But do we really need to reboot this franchise already? At least be creative about it like X-Men: First Class. I kind of wish Sony had the stones to let Donald Glover play Spider-man.


The Dark Knight Rises (July 20)



If the trend continues people are going to freak-the-geek out about this movie and I will walk away thinking that it was alright, but that it felt bloated due to Christopher Nolans desire to cram as many story lines into a movie as he can. Also, he will totally waste great characters⁴. On the plus side this should be the last movie with gravelly voiced Batman.


9 - The Bourne Legacy (August 3)

A bunch of us are watching/re-watching all the Bourne movies (we've watched the first two so far) and it's made me remember how much I enjoyed them. I really like Jeremy Renner as an actor, but the supporting cast is what has me really excited: Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton, Albert Finney, and Oscar Isaac, it should be a good one.


6- Skyfall (November 9)

Like Sarah, I am a sucker for a Bond movie. The addition of Javier Bardem is just the icing on the cake (Sam Mendes directing doesn't hurt either). I am a little concerned they are adding the character Q back in, hopefully he is not as cheesy as he was in earlier Bonds.


The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II (November 16)

Barf, barf, barf, barf, barf, barf, sparkly guy, barf, barf, barf. The only good thing about this movie is that it is the last one.


Lincoln (December TBA)

I'm pretty excited for this flick. Stephen Spielberg directs (not Soderberg, you blew it Mrs. Street), and Sarah was right about Joseph Gordon-Levitt being awesome. Plus, freaking Daniel Day-Lewis, c'mon, look at that picture. It's like Lincoln came back from the dead for a relaxing lunch. Color me excited⁵.


Les Miserables (December 7)

Despite Les Miserables being one of the best musicals I've ever seen this movie has not been on my radar. However, Wolverine and Catwoman in it, what could be better? I too am interested in seeing Russel Crowe sing. PS sorry about the picture, I couldn't find any pictures of the film, I don't remember there being a scene in Les Mis  where Jean Valjean wears a pineapple shirt and plays the maracas, but I may be mistaken about that.


5 - The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (December 14)



So I'm re-reading The Hobbit currently, it's funny that almost everything that I remember from the story happens in the first third of the book. Which means everything I remembered from the book will happen in this movie (it's a two parter, one this year one next). Also, if you enjoyed the original trilogy this trailer was made to make you remember that fact.


The Great Gatsby (December 25)

I enjoy movies despite Leonado DiCaprio, not because of him. I also don't like Tobey Maguire very much at all. So it's safe to say I'm not really looking forward to this movie. I do like Carey Mulligan though, she's got a cuteness to her for sure.

The Rest of the Story

10 - Moonrise Kingdom (May 25)

Wes Anderson ramps his "Wes Andersonness" up to eleven⁶ in this new film about two kids who fall in love and run away from home causing the entire town to mobilize to find them. You can check out the trailer here. While the trailer makes this movie look extremely over the top I am pretty excited due to some of the casting. In addition to some Wes Anderson regulars we'll get to see Ed Norton, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Harvey Keitel and Bruce Willis play in Anderson playground, it should be fun.

8 - Argo (September 14)

Ben Affleck is a decent actor, but he is a great director, and he is back behind the camera for his third movie, Argo. The movie, based on a true story, takes place during the 1979 Iran hostage conflict and is about the CIA attempting to free hostages by convincing the Iranian government that they are all a part of the film crew of a Sci-Fi movie. No trailer yet, but Affleck has earned enough credit with me that I am excited already.

4 - Looper (September 28)

Director Rian Johnson, whose other works include Brick⁷ and Brothers Bloom, has style out the wazoo. He tends to couple that with great characters and fantastic stories. So when I heard that his next movie would be dealing with time travel and star Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Bruce Willis it immediately jumped to the top of my "want to see" list. Details of the plot are being kept intentionally vague, but here is what we know:

"Looper is a time travel movie, set in a near future where time travel doesn’t exist but will be invented in a few decades. It’s pretty dark in tone, much different from Bloom, and involves a group of killers (called Loopers) who work for a crime syndicate in the future. Their bosses send their targets hogtied and blindfolded back in time to the Loopers, and their job is to simply shoot them in the head and dispose of the body. So the target vanishes from the future and the Loopers dispose of a corpse that doesn’t technically exist, a very clean system. Complications set in from there."


7 - Gravity (November 12)


Children of Men is one of my favorite movies and its director Alfonso Cuarón is returning to the Sci-fi genre with Gravity. I'll be honest, I was more excited for this film before Sandra Bullock was cast, especially since it is a small cast movie (Bullock and George Clooney will primarily be the only ones on screen) but the combination of Clooney and Cuarón is enough to overcome my distaste for Bullock. The synopsis makes it sound intense, Tim Felton will probably hate it, but he is a big wuss:

"Bullock plays Dr. Ryan Stone, a brilliant medical engineer on her first shuttle mission, with veteran astronaut Matt Kowalsky [George Clooney] in command of his last flight before retiring. But on a seemingly routine spacewalk, disaster strikes. The shuttle is destroyed, leaving Stone and Kowalsky completely alone–tethered to nothing but each other and spiraling out into the blackness."


Like Sarah I am excited for many of the movies this year, just not all the same ones she is.
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¹ And really, if you aren't going to fully experience something, why experience it at all?
² Michael Fassbender, Guy Pearce, and Idra Elba respectively.
³ In the original trilogy all of the ships and computers looked old and boxy, in the prequels everything was smooth and modern, which makes it look like the galaxy regressed technologically. Just one of the MANY problems in those movies.
⁴ See: Ra's Al Ghul in Batman Begins and Two Face in The Dark Knight.
⁵ Which begs the question: What color best represents "excited"?
⁶ "Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?"
⁷ Seriously, go watch this movie. Right. Now. It's on Netflix Instant View.

On Messing With Your Childhood

In which a uniting component of humanity is discussed and your perspectives are altered.

Imagine, if you will, you are sitting in a movie theater. You've got friends on either side of you and you are killing time answering the same easy trivia question for the tenth time. Finally the lights dim, your excitement rises a little, but no, it's just a coke commercial. Or some voice telling you to silence your cell phone. But then it happens. This screen pops up:

Oh yeah, it's preview time, the best part of the movies. What will it be? A super-rad blockbuster? A cheeseball romcom¹? Emotional Oscar bait? A terrible and lame teen vampire movie? You never know. You are on the edge of your seat as everything about a movie is distilled down into a scant 2-3 minutes. When it ends you lean over and whisper to your friend, "that looks awesome" or "that looks terrible" before the green screen is there again and it all starts over.

Movie trailers are a funny thing. They are, at their core, commercials. I hate commercials, but I love trailers. Well, that's not exactly right. I love trailers in the movie theater, when they are up on the big screen. And I love catching sweet trailers when they first drop. But I always skip them on DVDs. I don't really know why, maybe it's the mystery of it all. But no matter their context they are definitely an attempt to sell you on spending your hard earned dollars² on a movie.

Because of this they are often put together by people in charge of selling the movie rather than people who make the movie. This can lead to movies that don't end quite as awesome as the trailer would have you believe. At times the trailers simply give away too much³ of the story. And often the movie is completely misrepresented. What is wild is to think about how easy it is to completely manipulate the audience with some simple text and a sweet soundtrack. It makes you wonder if you could completely change the tone of a film?

Oh wait, someone already did that. Back in 2006 someone reedited a trailer for Mary Poppins, added new music and sound effects and came up with Scary Mary. Check it out⁴.


Other videos soon followed. Such as a re-cut Charlie and the Chocolate Factory trailer. Although, let's be honest, that movie was damn creepy on it's own, that tunnel scene? Come on.


But I think my favorite remixed trailer is probably this one, which I will leave you without any set up.


It pretty crazy how easy it is to make a trailer look absolutely nothing like the movie. Keep that in mind the next time you see a movie you are totally jazzed for, because you might be in for a surprise. Except if it's a Twilight preview, the actual movie will be just as sucky as the trailer.
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¹ That would be a romantic comedy.
² Or your parents if you are still in high school/home for Christmas.
³ My apologies for linking to VH1.
⁴ Hey Carrie and Tara, suck it up and watch the dang videos this time.

On Lists

In which we set the way back machine for both a year and a decade.

Last year I managed to get a post out on New Years Eve looking back at the last year of my life, hitting some high points month by month.  I had hoped to get something similar posted this year but it did not happen.  Now that we are three days in to old twentyeleven I am not feeling as motivated.  That may change, but I doubt it.

That does not mean, though, that I do not want to look back at the year.  I just want to do so in a different way.  This time of year a lot of people start talking about their "Best of" lists.  Best books, best songs, best albums, best movies¹. So I am going to throw my hat into the ring with my own look back at the world of cinema.  However, I am going to mix it up a little, instead of just looking at 2010 I am also going to tell you my favorite movies from the last decade.

To get you jazzed for the list making here are two videos looking back over the movies of 2010.  Neither is comprehensive, and it is interesting how many of the same clips are used², but they are both beautiful and very well made.

The first is Filmography 2010 edited by Gen Ip.  Of the two videos this one is more stylized and utilized more of the beats found both in the music and in the clips.  Whenever I watch it I am reminded of how fun movies can be.


This second video is Cinema 2010 edited by Kees van Dijkhuizen³.  This video definitely has style as well it also includes a deeply haunting beauty to it.  Especially the last quarter which uses the version of Creep by Scala & Kolacny Brothers to perfection. If Filmography 2010 reminded me of how fun movie can be Cinema 2010 reminds me how beautiful they can be.  The most interesting thing for me that there are some legitimately bad movies found in the clips, which shows that even a bad movie can't completely diminish the beauty that is found in telling a story.



So before we begin with the list making here are a couple of things you should know.  I was surprised to find that I had only seen twelve movies that were released last year.  Which is sad, though to be honest a lot of the movies I want to still see (we'll get there later) where all stacked at the end of the year and I can't afford to see them all.  I will tell you about ten of these movies and why I liked them, only three will be ranked as the best of them.  You are totally free to disagree with them and I'd love to here your picks.

Movies I saw, and enjoyed, this year, in no particular order⁴.

• Youth in Revolt - There is a big time backlash against Michael Cera (of Arrested Development fame).  Most of it stems from the claim that he is a one note actor who always plays the same character.  If his portrayal of his own imaginary alter ego François Dillinger doesn't change your mind nothing will.
• The Book of Eli - Post apocalyptic movies have been done before, but this has a great tone.  Some of it is a little over the top but it surprised me with both the story and how good the movie itself ended up being.
• Kick-Ass - Over the top and violent, but funny.  Very, very funny.  Chloë Grace Moretz steals the show.
• Exit Through the Gift Shop - I'm not a big documentary guy but this was an incredibly fascinating film.  I don't want to say too much about it, the less you know going in the better, but this look into the world of street art (graffiti not mimes) was entrancing.  JimmyMann, who is a big documentary guy, loved it as well.
• Iron Man 2 - I liked the first one a little better, but mainly because the sequel felt a little cluttered.  However, Robert Downey Junior continues to be one of my favorite actors and there are very few things with Sam Rockwell in them that I don't enjoy. Those two are worth watching on their own.
• Babies - It's crazy that 16% of the movies that I saw from 2010 were documentaries but what are you going to do.  This was an incredibly beautiful film that follows the first year of life for four infants around the world.  A lack of narration made worked incredibly well.
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I - This was the first HP that I saw where I had read the book first, though I wish I would have done a reread before I saw it.  It was a great movie, very moody, a little slower, but I thought the three main actors (HP, Ronnie the Bear, and the Wretched Harmony) all showed how far they have come in their craft.

And here are my top three movies for 2010.

1. Scott Pilgrim vs The World

You probably haven't seen this movie, most people haven't.  I've written about it a couple of times now and I really can't stop singing it's praises.  Michael Cera is the titular character and, I think, does a magnificent job in the role.  The supporting cast is one of the best I have ever seen (that will be a theme with these top three) especially Kieran Culken.⁵ Also the transitions between scenes are some of the most amazing that I've seen.

2. True Grit

The Coen brothers return to the western genre, last visited in No Country for Old Men (2007), but this time the journey is less dark, less violent, but no less beautiful.  Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon are amazing as Rooster Cogburn and Texas Ranger La Boeuf respectively.  However, new comer Hailee Steinfeld steals the show, if she is not at least nominated for a Best Actress Oscar it will be a crime.  The most surprising part of the movie was how hilarious it was, a definite must see.

3. Inception

Here is the thing, I am rarely impressed with Leonardo DiCaprio, and while he does a good job in this movie he is nothing to write home about.  However he is helped tremendously by a show stopping all-star cast, it still amazes me to think about how great they all were, even with their limited character story lines.  The two things that take this movie up to top three status are a) in was an incredibly original and beautiful version of what boils down to a standard heist movie and b) the sheer number of theories you can have about the movie.

PS Worst movie of the year?  Shutter Island.  Not that it was overly terrible, because it wasn't, but it was a huge let down as I had high expectations.  It was too predictable for my tastes, and it tried way to hard to be mysterious for that level of predictability.

11 2010 movies for 2011

Movies I want to see but haven't yet: How to Train Your Dragon - I've heard nothing but good things, Toy Story 3 - I've been told to expect to cry, The Town - who knew Ben Afflec would be a good director, The Social Network - love me some Sorken dialog, Black Swan - looks creepy and amazing, I Love You Philip Morris - I'm intrigued by the hurdles it jumped to get distributed , The Fighter - Christian Bale is supposed to be amazing in it, Blue Valentine - an examination of a marriage on the rocks Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams each got a Golden Globe nomination, Catfish - all I needed to hear was that you need to know as little as possible about it, Buried - Shot in 17 days it is apparently incredibly tense, 127 Hours - James Franco plays a hiker who gets his arm trapped under a boulder, I've heard great things.

Okay so this post is taking longer than I thought⁶, sorry about that.  When I decided to write a movie themed year-end post I started to consider looking back at the best movies of the last decade.  That slowly melded into my favorite movies, which I think is an important distinction.  So I did some research and discovered that some years it was very easy to pick my favorite, others it was much tougher (I'm looking at you 2007).  Also, I'll give you a bonus award for the year as well.

2001 - Spy Game  This is such an entertaining movie, following Brad Pitt and Robert Redford through multiple decades I was on the edge of my seat the first time I saw it.  It is not a movie I put on if I am trying to get something else done. -- Most cool action pieces bogged down by inane story line: Pearl Harbor.

2002 - Lord of the Rings  I am lumping all three movies together into one chunk this year because they are great, but I didn't want to take up three years of movies, plus '02 didn't have much else that stood out. They are really good.  -- Best foreign movie that was the basis for an Oscar winner:  Infernal Affairs.

2003 - Confidence A sold movie that is made great by its ending.  Highly stylized with rapid fire dialogue.  I'd love to watch it again, but it has gone missing, I blame the Feltons. --  Biggest train wreck that caused a knighted Academy Award winner to retire from acting: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

2004 - The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou I have talked about Life Aquatic before here.  So I'll just say this, it holds up after many repeat viewings, which is always the mark of a great film.  --  Movie I can't stand that you would assume that I would like: Garden State.

2005 - Serenity The follow up film to the television show Firefly.  It is a funny sci-fi western with some horror elements.  If that doesn't interest you then nothing will.  --  Worst movie I saw in the theater this decade: Saw II.


2006 - Children of Men Compelling story? Check. Good acting? Check. Amazingly well done long takes? Check. Favorite movie of the year? Check.  --  Incredible start, terrible finish: Silent Hill.


2007 - Hot Fuzz  Directed by the same guy as Scott Pilgrim this homage to buddy cop movies (think Bad Boys 2) is absolutely hilarious, I saw it in the theater then gathered a bunch of people to go see it again.  --  I knew it wouldn't be good, but I didn't know it could be this bad: I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.


2008 - Tropic Thunder This is the funniest Ben Stiller movie I have seen in a long time, I am sure a big reason that I like it is because I enjoy movies so much, so of course I would like a movie about making movies.  Plus, not surprisingly, Robert Downey Junior was fantastic.  --  Most overrated movie that has three movies worth of stuff crammed into it: The Dark Knight.


2009 - Where the Wild Things Are  A movie that had me smiling from start to finish, partially because it was good and partially because it took me back to my childhood.  An absolutely beautiful movie that was made that much better because they used practical effects instead of just CGI.  --  The only blue movie you might one day possibly see: Avatar.
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¹ Check out Sarah blog for a good list: Not Wholly In Vain
² Probably due to using a lot of clips from trailers so didn't have to watch trash like The Last Airbender.
³ He makes one every year so you can time warp if you want.
⁴ That's not true, it's actually chronological.
⁵ Also Chris Evan, Brandon Routh, and Jason Schwartzman.
⁶ Deal with it KaSchmal.

On the Future of American Cinema

In which we gaze into the beautiful blue eyes of Hollywood and perfection stares back.

Once in a great while a movie comes along that changes the way we look at movies.  A film that takes our perceptions, acumen, opinions, attitudes, even our perspicacity of film and flips it on its head¹.

Movies like Citizen Kane, The Godfather Part 2, Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Toy Story and even Avatar² (with its use of 3D) made people rethink the way stories are told.  Whether through narrative styles, special effects or even the medium in which it is shown.

Now we are privy to what will certainly be one of the greatest movies of our generation.  I imagine that it will change not only what we think about film, but what we think about life itself.

Behold the future:


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¹ All of those words are synonymous with one another.
² For the record Avatar was a beautiful and fun movie devoid of any original story.

On Discovering a Video That’s Been Discovered By Two Million People Already

In which well-trod ground is traveled and foreshadowing.

When I arrived home from work today I had received an email from a friend of mine¹.  The subject line read ‘Ahh Christian worship’ and contained only this link.  I watched it and found it to be pretty clever.  The music stuff was better than the speaking stuff.  In the comments someone mentioned something called “The Academy Award Winning Trailer.”  I had never heard of such a thing so a’googleing I went.  My search let me to this video.  Go ahead and check it would and we’ll talk about it when you are done.

This video absolutely made my day.  Most everything about it was so spot on.  For me the two highlights were the conversations with the concerned friend² and the music throughout the entirety of the trailer, but especially starting at 2:26.  It seemed like it was an actual movie that was coming out, which is kind of sad.

The weakest part?  The Avatar scene, it just didn’t jive with the rest of the trailer.  But I suppose you can’t win ‘em all.

Hope you enjoyed the brief post/video this week.  Come back next week for a discussion about Capri Sun.  No joke.

“LEAD FEMALE’S NAME!!!”
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¹ Who won’t be named so that he, or she, doesn’t get in trouble at work again and cause me a huge headache.
² “Friendly concern that a string of heightened and seemingly unrelated plots may now arise."

On Summer Time and the Living’s Easy

In which we fondly look back before excitedly looking forward.

Remember growing up how much you looked forward to summer break?  That agonizing wait for school to end and freedom to begin?  It was fantastic.  Some of favorite summer memories growing up include the following.  Sitting on the front porch of my house on Kent Avenue watching as patchy, windswept clouds blew past the sun.  I can distinctly remember looking down the street as shadows moved down the road like cars.  I’m not sure what about it was about that moment that made it lodge so deeply in my mind but it is there none the less.

I also remember skipping the last part of the last period of the last day of seventh grade.  All day my friends and I talked about cutting class and starting summer break early but we never had the stones to go through with it, until eighth hour rolled around.  We probably didn’t skip out much more than 30 minutes before the bell rang but man that extra half hour of summer was awesome.

One of my most pervasive memories of pre-college life was going to my friend Ryan’s house and playing laser tag.  At some point in the mid-90’s Ryan and his dad were at a store and saw a pile of laser tag guns on super clearance, specifically they saw these:
This is the Electronic Survivor Shot, the best home-based laser tag gun that you could buy.  What made it the best?  See that ugly thing at the top of the picture, that’s the sensor.  While most laser tag sensors were on the gun or on the player’s chest this was strapped to your head.  It has a 360^o receptor so you can get hit from any direction and when you get hit a motor rattled a button on your temple, which, when you are running around in the dark can freak the crap out of you.  What made this experience so amazing was the fact that Ryan lived on a hill overlooking an elementary school.  So we would play over a huge area that had lots of fencing, dark corners and narrow alleys.  I can still remember what it was like to walk along the tree line in the pitch black wondering if there was someone hiding just out of sight.  Or finding the perfect spot and being able to light someone up without them even knowing where you were¹.

Summer doesn’t really have the same feel that it used to.  There seems like there is always something that needs to be done, some project to work on, or money that needs to be earned².  But there are still things about the summer that I am very much looking forward to.  Now you may be asking your self, “Isn’t it still April? Didn’t spring start like, a month ago? Isn’t the summer solstice, the official start of summer, still held in late June?”

The answer to all of these questions is undoubtedly yes.

However, for two organizations summer starts in week.  What are these mystical events that have sped the seasonal calendar up by over a month?  College and Hollywood.  Next week is finals week here in Bloomington, Indiana, with the spring semester officially coming to an end the summer session will start on Tuesday morning.  Which brings me to the first thing that I am looking forward to this summer³. The summer exodus.

I love living in Bloomington, it’s why I came back to IU for grad school and it’s why I am hoping and praying for a counseling job in the area.  But as much as I enjoy living here during the year summers in Bloomington are simply the best.  It’s when we get to say goodbye dude bros, goodbye Ugg girls⁴, goodbye wide-eyed freshmen, goodbye jaywalkers, goodbye people stopping on third street to pick up friends, goodbye thirty minute trips across town.  We won’t miss you.

Hollywood is the other perpetrator of summer’s early arrival, because Hollywood loves money, and the summer is when they make it.  Next Friday Iron Man 2 opens up across the country officially kicking off the summer blockbuster season.  Every year Hollywood rolls out a swath of big-budget, big-effect movies one right after another in an attempt to separate you from your hard earned dollars.  Most of the movies will be mediocre, some will be terrible and some will be great.  A bold prediction on my part I know, but that’s how it goes.  With so many movies coming out it can be difficult to keep on top of them all.  But don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.  Here is a super-trailer for you covering most of the big summer movies.

So what else am I looking forward to this summer?  A lot of things really.  I’m excited that I will get to hang out with my family a number of times throughout the summer.  I get to go to Young Life camp again, but this time as an adult guest which will be super rad.  I’m looking forward to playing disc golf⁵ and riding bikes around town.  I’m glad I get to be a part of the Rose’s garden from the ground up, literally.  I’ll be honest I’m kind of excited to hit the one year mark with this blog because I didn’t think it would last.  And I’m really excited to find out what’s next for me.  But really I’m just looking forward to spending some quality summer time here in Bloomington.

So let me be the first to welcome you to the summer, here’s hoping it’s an outrageously wondrous one.
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¹  My best spot was 30 feet up in a pine tree I sniped so many suckers.
²  Which is a part of why I am looking forward to working in a school full-time, summers off.
³  False alarm.  I made this footnote mark, but now I can’t remember why.  Apologies.
⁴  How is that look still in fashion, it boggles my mind.
⁵  Can’t wait to check out this homebrew course my friends came up with on campus. Check it out.

On Getting Out of a Hole

 In which an allegory is appropriated and applied to real life.

My friend Sparkles spoke truly when she said that Aaron Sorkin¹ knows what he is doing when it comes to making Christmas themed television episodes.  He just really knows how to bring it in a real way and evoke an emotional response.  In the second season of The West Wing the Christmas episode, titled Noël, has a scene that just grabbed a hold of me when I watched it a few weeks ago.

Without spoiling much, the episode revolves around the deputy chief of staff Josh who is dealing with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.  Throughout the episode there are times when he seems to lose his grip on the present, suffering from flashbacks and cold sweats.  He also becomes irrationally angry and at one point gets in a shouting match with the president.  None of these things are good things for anyone to be dealing with, but especially someone who is working so closely to the president.  Josh is obviously concerned that this issue may lead to him losing his job.  In fact he is required to meet with a psychologist for an evaluation to determine if he is still fit to be at work.

When he comes out of the meeting his boss Leo is waiting for him.  What follows is the scene that takes place between the two of them.  I’ll write out the dialogue in case the YouTube video is taken down, or if you can’t view it at work.  But you should really watch it instead of just reading it².

Leo McGarry: How'd it go?

Josh Lyman: Did you wait around for me?

Leo McGarry: How'd it go?

Josh Lyman: He thinks I may have an eating disorder...

Leo McGarry: Josh...

Josh Lyman: ...and a fear of rectangles. That's not weird, is it? [pause] I didn't cut my hand on a glass. I broke a window in my apartment.

Leo McGarry: This guy's walking down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, "Hey you, can you help me out?" The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out." [pause] Long as I got a job, you got a job, you understand?

I started to think about all of the people that I have met in my life.  Friends, family, students, co-workers, everyone.  I thought about times that they were in need and how I responded, or will respond in the future.  “I want to be like Joe,” I thought.  I don’t want to throw a prayer at someone.  I don’t want to throw a Band-Aid³ at someone.  I want to do something unexpected.  I want to get down in the hole with them and help them find the way out.

How great would it be if that is how I lived my life?  Jumping down into pits help people out when they are stuck.  It would be amazing.  But here is the deal.  The more that I thought about it the more I realized that’s not normally the situation that I find myself in.  And that is not the character that I find myself relating to.  More often than not I’m not Joe; I’m the dude in the hole.  I, all too often, find myself looking up at people as they pass by not knowing what to do next.  And that, I realized, is why this scene resonated with me so much; it contains an important bit of truth.

When you find yourself stuck down in some dark place there are people that want to get down there with you and show you the way out, because they have been there too.  The thing is, and I really think this is really important, the thing is, you have to let them know you are down there.  You have to be willing to say, “Hey Joe, it’s me, can you help me out?”  And sure you might get some prescriptions or prayers tossed at you, but eventually a friend is going come down to where you are, and he or she is going to show you the way out.

But you need to ask first.
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¹ Of Sports Night, Studio 60, The West Wing, A Few Good Men, and Charlie Wilson’s War fame.
² You should really just watch the whole episode, it was stellar.
³ Or any generic self-adhesive strip.

On Things That Are Rad

In which we discover a variety of items that can be quantifiably described as "rad."

My post for the week is a little earlier than normal due to stumbling onto some cool stuff over the weekend and today.

On Saturday I was on Facebook and my friend Matt had this written on his wall courtesy of his wife Ashley:  Old Spice ad: 'We're not saying Old Spice body wash will make your man smell like a romantic millionaire jet fighter pilot, but we are insinuating it.' I was intrigued and decided to discover if this was indeed an Old Spice add.  That is when I found the following.


Also this.

For a while now I have felt that Old Spice has some of the most consistently funny adds around. These do nothing to change that opinion.

I also discovered the work of graphic artist Brandon Schaefer who makes some pretty sweet original movie posters based off of classic films.  Here are my two favorites, if they were still in print I would totally think about buying one, or both, of them¹.

A few months ago I talked about Arrested Development, one of my favorite television shows.  Two of the actors from said show, Will Arnett and David Cross, are currently staring² in a show based out of the UK called The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret³.  Unfortunately it is only available overseas at the moment, but the first episode is up on Youtubes in three parts.  Watch it while you can, I don't know how long it will be before it gets taken down.  Warning: these are NOT safe for work viewing (language).







Blogmendment 10:21pm

While writing this blog, and even after I finished, I kept thinking that there was something I wanted to write about but was forgetting.  Then, during dinner, I remembered.  There is a movie coming out in April that looks hilarious, and got some great early reviews.  Here is the red band trailer (which means the trailer is R rated so you will have to enter a birth date so don't watch this at work).


Those are the rad things I found this week. What have you got?
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¹ In actuality I would most likely agonize about whether or not I should buy them, then end up not buying them, and always wonder if I should have bought them.
² Okay, so technically it stars David Cross is the star, but Arnett is classic in the scenes he is in.
³ This is just a fantastic name.

On Random Thoughts Part II: Holiday Edition 2009

In which we return to a previous concept, a ridiculous title is used as well as a record number of footnotes.

LED Christmas lights are a great idea; they don't get hot and consume less energy.  Unfortunately they look terrible compared to old school lights, only coming in strings of 60 lights (that's pretty short) and they are expensive.  Call me when you fix these problems.

Colleen¹ wants to hear my thoughts on the zombie apocalypse, I hit on that once but I can add to it.  Now I'm no expert, but I have seen some movies, played some games (video and board) and read some books on the subject of zombies.  Here are the three most important things to take care of.  1) Shelter, this is the most important piece.  You need to find a place that can be easily fortified, this means a limited number of low windows and a manageable amount of entry points (you will want more that one way in and out, but you need to know about them all).  2) Weapons, be smart about this.  A gun seems like a good idea, but it might be more trouble than it's worth, they are hard to keep clean, tough to use, and ammo might be difficult to find.  If you really want one I would suggest a shotgun, it's got a good blast radius and ammo should be easier to come by.  You will also want some sort of melee weapon, a bat, an axe, a hammer something you can swing.  Just know that they will break down over time, and the heavier they are the longer they will last but the slower you will be with them.  3) Supplies, you will need food and water to survive.  So searching for supplies will always require some bravery.  You may have to leave your shelter to head into infested areas, make sure you stick to places you are familiar with especially at first, and find a good balance of bring back enough stuff so you don't have to go out all the time but won't slow you down.  Canned foods will be your best friend.  Good luck out there.

My family and I went to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra yesterday.  It was pretty crazy.  Imagine a combination of Christmas music, rock-opera, 80's hair, laser/light/fire display and a full orchestra.  I had a great time but it would have been a little better if they hadn't played their non-Christmas stuff for a 1/3 of the show.  It's two days before Christmas, play Christmas music.

Sarah² asked me to write about the use of Vince Guaraldi music in Arrested Development, some of you might remember that was a show on my list of Top Five shows.  The use of Guaraldi's jazzy Charlie Brown Christmas music was used throughout the episode titled "Good Grief" is an example of why this show is so classic.  The highlight for me comes from the fact that in the back ground you can catch a glimpse of a beagle sleeping on the top of a red dog house.


Carrie³ want me to talk about our mice.  We had mice in our house.  They are gross.  We have killed two of them to date.  I'm hoping that is the end of it, but I doubt it.  That's all I have to say on the subject.

Lauren⁴ asked two things, I'm picking one.  The origin of "Pop Goes the Weasel."  Did you know there are over ten versions of the stupid song, some with many, many verses.  The oldest dates back to 1855.  I don't know where it came from, but I think it may have been a song about visiting prostitutes⁵.  Check it out:

Up and down the City Road

In and out the Eagle

That's the way the money goes

Pop! goes the weasel⁶.

Cameron would like to know if cows fall over and if they do can they get themselves up.  They do tip over (either from being pushed or falling when stumbling on a hill).  Smaller cows, calves, and steer can right themselves, most full grown cows can't.  Cows that can't get themselves up often die due to exhaustion and stress.  (This answer brought to you by Yahoo answers).

I have always enjoyed eggnog.  Despite how terrible it is for you.  I can usually handle about 4 glasses throughout the Christmas season (Thanksgiving-Christmas day).  Growing up I remember my grandfather drinking it after Christmas dinner, he always added rum and nutmeg.  I prefer bourbon⁷ and a nutmeg/cinnamon mixture in my nog.

Story-time interlude courtesy of my friend Kevin⁸.  Kevin and I grew up down the street from one another so we would hang out at one another's houses all the time.  One summer afternoon we were playing around with Snap-Pops and we got the bright idea to through them at passing cars, which we found hilarious.  It was all fun and games until we threw a few at a car and once it passed the house we saw the driver slam on the breaks and whip the car around.  I yelled to Kevin, "Run!" and took off around the side of the house and dove behind a small bush.  When I looked back at the driveway I realized that Kevin was still standing there in the middle of the driveway.  By this time the driver had pulled up to the base of the driveway and was screaming at Kevin.  I saw Kevin glance down at his shoes then turn his head slightly point to where I was and said, "Josh is in the bushes."  We still give him a hard time about it when he makes it back to Indiana.

My top four Christmas movies are, in this order, A Christmas Story, Die Hard, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, and Elf.  "Can't see the lines can you Russ?"

Whitney wants to know what video games would be the best/worst movies.  I would have said Silent Hill 2, but they tried that and it was a mess of studio meddling and wasted potential.  I think Metal Gear Solid, would have some cool potential if done right.  As for worst, Tetris.

"The Twelve Day's of Christmas" is a pretty ridiculous song.  My second favorite rendition of this song is by Straight No Chaser.  Here is a YouTube video of the song.  Please excuse the super-lame introduction.


Jon⁹ wants to know what my best/worst Christmas I ever got was.  I think my best gift was going with my dad to see Purdue play in 1998 Alamo Bowl against Kansas State.  State, ranked fourth in the nation, felt like they got snubbed by the BCS and ended up playing unranked Purdue.  Purdue jumped out to an early lead but Kansas State came back to take the lead 34-30 with just over a minute to go in the game.  But Purdue, led by freshman quarterback Drew Brees¹⁰ drove the field in just 54 seconds to score the game winning touchdown. It was spectacular.  I can't think of what the worst was.

Thank you to everyone who sent me topics to write about, it was a lot of fun.  I hope you all have an incredibly blessed Christmas and if you are traveling that you stay safe.  I've got to go watch Christmas Vacation with the family.

Merry Christmas!!
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¹ Delicious recipes found here: http://redwhiteandturkey.blogspot.com/
² I just started following Sarah, now you can too.  http://notwhollyinvain.blogspot.com/
³ Token Asian blog found here: http://thesaltyside.blogspot.com/
⁴ Warning don't go here unless you want to see super cute babies: http://majorscoop.blogspot.com/
⁵ I have no factual basis for this claim.
⁶ Come on, how is that not about visiting a prostitute?
⁷ Don't drink until you are 21 and even then please do so responsibly.
⁸ Kevin uses his blog responsibly to track his exercise routine, he is a much better person than I am. http://kevininc.com/
⁹ Jon has recently made a commitment to use footnotes more, a behavior I fully endorse. http://jonuebelhor.blogspot.com
¹⁰ You might have heard of him.

On Random Thoughts

In which we quickly jump from topic to topic, and footnotes are used for the first time.

The key when eating a foot-long sub from Subway, much like eating Chinese food, is to wait a few minutes between the first half and the second. You aren't as hungry as you think, and if you finish it all now you will feel terrible and not have dinner ready made later on.


Note to self:  Before feeling concerned for the safety of a child presumably trapped in a runaway, homemade balloon check for the following warning signs that everything is not all that it seems. 1) The parents are nutty storm chasers who were on a reality TV show⁽¹⁾.  2) The aforementioned nutty parents named their child "Falcon."  3) Said parents also contacted new stations about their missing sun prior to contacting the police.  If one or more of these conditions apply the child is most likely safe in the attic and the parent may or may not be a d-bag⁽²⁾ who put his kid up to it for publicity purposes.


I am terribly excited for the new movie Where the Wild Things Are.  It is the first movie in many months that I would be fine seeing opening weekend and not waiting for it to be a Five Buck Club movie.  If you haven't seen the trailer yet here it is for your enjoyment.  Just watching the trailer makes me feel like a kid again, I can't wait to see this movie.


One movie that I will absolutely see opening night, and will drag along as many people as I am able, is The Road staring Vigo Mortensen.  It is based on Cormac McCarthy's book by the same title.  The book is beautiful and dark and hopeful and deserves much more than I can say in a simple paragraph so we will come back to it at another time.


If you find yourself ordering clothing online know that REI.com has the fastest turn around that I have seen on their shipping.  I ordered a sweater from them on Tuesday night and it arrived three days later.  Conversely, Amazon's Super Saver shipping is the worst, I've had items coming from Kentucky take 2 weeks to arrive.


At the request of Tim Street I will now talk about Lando Calrissian.  Lando is a good friend to Han Solo and a known scoundrel and all-round ladies man.  He is probably best know as the only black guy in Star Wars and for blowing up an uncompleted Death Star⁽³⁾.  Here is a picture of Lando in Lego form.  Calm under pressure Lando knows that Han will have that shield down, we've just got to give him more time.  Lando is in no way related to Dumbledore Calrissian who needed to return a ring to Mordor.


Sara Zimmer says, "Write about rabies."  Okay.  Rabies, not to be confused with scabies or babies, is a virus that is often carried by wild mammals.  If you have rabies right now you should probably stop reading my blog and go seek medical help, other wise you will probably die.  Apparently there are a number of countries where rabies is no longer present.  One of which is Australia (as well as a lot of Europe) at first this might not seem fair, but those guys have it alot worse...trust me.  Here are some important facts about rabies from Michael Scott, Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin.

"Myth - three Americans die every year from rabies. Fact - four Americans every year die from rabies. How many of you know someone that has been afflicted or affected by rabies? Show of hands. One, two, three... too many to count. It is truly the silent killer. No, it is the foaming barking killer."

Thanks Michael, that was extremely helpful.  Hope you enjoyed my smattering of topics.  And the footnotes.

Seriously, who wants to see Where the Wild Things Are or The Road with me?
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(1) On the terribly named show "Wife Swap," I swear some TV executives need to be slapped or thrown in jail or both.
(2) If it turns out this was all some elaborate hoax the parents should have to pay back the tax payers money that was wasted chasing that balloon down.  If they can't afford it they should be forced to watch terrible reality TV shows until their eyes fall out.
(3) And he probably killed thousand of private contractors hired to complete the Death Star.  For a discussion on the ethical implications of killing thousands of non-combatants I invite you to watch this clip from the movie Clerks (click here) please note that this clip almost certainly contains vulger language.

On My Jams

In which more is learned about the illustrious author, a phrase is appropriated, and a sister is most likely infuriated.

A few weeks ago, while on vacation with my family, my sister and I were talking about something. I don't remember what it was, but during the course of the conversation I remarked that something "was my jam." My sister said, "what, you can't use that phrase like that." To which I responded that I could use it how I wanted, she remained intransigent claiming that it was clearly in reference liking a song, or "jam."

This conversation was echoing in my head as I planned out what I was going write about next (yes I do think about what I'm going to write before I write it, usually) and I decided that I could kill two birds with one stone. I have neglected to talk much about myself in this blog, so I figured I could educate you all, as well as make my mark on the meaning of the phrase "that's my jam." As an added bonus I just might enrage my sister.

So without further ado, here are my jams.

1. I will not deny that the phrase "my jam" was originally meant for songs, so lets start there. My musical taste is...odd, to say the least. I go in waves as far as what I enjoy listening to. Recently I have been listening Mos Def's latest CD The Ecstatic. Most people know Mos Def as an actor however, he is also quite the accomplished musician. This is the first time that I have listen to much of his stuff, over all I enjoyed all of the tracks, some I feel are better than others. However, of the 16 tracks on the album I would have to say that number 6, "Quiet Dog Bite Hard" is my jam.

2. When I'm driving around town I usually listen to music, whether on the radio or on CD's. When I am going a longer distance (3 hours or more) I find music to be more annoying than anything. So as an alternative I like to get books on CD's. They seem to make the time go a little faster, maybe its because with 6 discs in my player I can get six hours continuous hours of listening in. I've listened to fiction, non-fiction, short stories, classics and new favorites. Rarely, have I been disappointed. It is to the point now where I look forward to long drives now, audio books are definitely my jam.

3. On my way to Nashville this last weekend I listened to Elmore Leonard's newest novel Road Dogs. It is a sequel to his book Out of Sight which was made into a movie staring George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez. I love Elmore Leonard's books, he is a master at telling a good crime story. Books like The Hot Kid, Cuba Libre, Out of Sight, and Get Shorty are all fantastic books (the last two were even transitioned in to great movies).
Leonard's characters seem to come alive on the pages, and any action becomes visible in the minds eye. And for those who read multiple stories you will find familiar names popping up throughout his tales as he weaves one giant tapestry. Few people are as gifted at making a thief relatable. The stories of Elmore Leonard, regardless of their medium, are my jam.

4. Thievery is a large part of the game The Settlers of Catan, a game that I have been known to enjoy from time to time with my friends. To explain the game would take too long, the important thing to know is that during the game you collect resources based on a dice roll, so from game to game some resource will be more available than others. At the start of the game each player chooses a starting position, their decision incorporates varying resources, numbers and strategies. If I'm playing and an 8-9-5, ore-sheep-wheat pops up, you'd better believe that's my jam.

5. When I am in the mood to make myself a nice home cooked breakfast there is usually one direction that I head in. I scramble myself some eggs (from the Corey's farm if I have some), throw some shredded cheese and black bean and corn salsa on top, and pop some wheat bread in the toaster. That's my breakfast jam.

6. When I need to put something on top of that toast?

Strawberry, it's my jam.

On the Internets

In which homeless people are observed, robots are brought to life, and insanity is contemplated.

So it is a great big internet out there. Lots of things to do and see.

One thing that I have learned over the last 10 or so years that I have been interneting is that the internet is full of garbage. You can put up just about anything that you want, unfortunately most of what people put up is just horrid.

But on that rare occasion there will be a gem of goodness amidst all the crap. On an even rarer occasion I will stumble upon said goodness. So I was thinking about it and decided one of the uses for this blog would be to share with those of you kind enough to read along some of the fun things I find.

A game: What's one thing the internet has lots of? Well, yes, naked ladies; but I was actually talking about flash games, just ask any high school student taking a computer application class. One that I discovered a few days ago is beautifully put together and very short, which is nice. This puzzle game has a fantastic atmosphere, beautiful visuals, and a simple concept, all in all very charming. You can check it out here: http://fastgames.com/littlewheel.html

A blog: I don't know if you have ever played the Sims before. It was a fun game where you get to control a family of people and pretty much act as a god. You could tell them what to do, who to talk to and how, you had complete control. Part of the game included creating a house for the sims to live in. Why am I telling you this, well because the Sims 3 just came out and a woman from the UK is playing it in an interesting way. She has created homeless sims, a father and daughter, and had created a blog following their "lives." You would think that reading about fake people being controlled by a stranger would be stupid, however, following the lives of Kev and Alice (the sims in question) is strangely compelling and poignant. Even if you have never played the Sims you should give it a look: http://aliceandkev.wordpress.com/

A YouTube video: Ah YouTube, home of embarrassing videos of kids doing stupid things. You can also find music videos on there. I watched one just this morning. I had never heard of the song before, but after watching the video I can't help but wonder if that is what going mad is like.



The World Wide Web, allowing you to waste time since 1989.