On Random Thoughts

In which we quickly jump from topic to topic, and footnotes are used for the first time.

The key when eating a foot-long sub from Subway, much like eating Chinese food, is to wait a few minutes between the first half and the second. You aren't as hungry as you think, and if you finish it all now you will feel terrible and not have dinner ready made later on.


Note to self:  Before feeling concerned for the safety of a child presumably trapped in a runaway, homemade balloon check for the following warning signs that everything is not all that it seems. 1) The parents are nutty storm chasers who were on a reality TV show⁽¹⁾.  2) The aforementioned nutty parents named their child "Falcon."  3) Said parents also contacted new stations about their missing sun prior to contacting the police.  If one or more of these conditions apply the child is most likely safe in the attic and the parent may or may not be a d-bag⁽²⁾ who put his kid up to it for publicity purposes.


I am terribly excited for the new movie Where the Wild Things Are.  It is the first movie in many months that I would be fine seeing opening weekend and not waiting for it to be a Five Buck Club movie.  If you haven't seen the trailer yet here it is for your enjoyment.  Just watching the trailer makes me feel like a kid again, I can't wait to see this movie.


One movie that I will absolutely see opening night, and will drag along as many people as I am able, is The Road staring Vigo Mortensen.  It is based on Cormac McCarthy's book by the same title.  The book is beautiful and dark and hopeful and deserves much more than I can say in a simple paragraph so we will come back to it at another time.


If you find yourself ordering clothing online know that REI.com has the fastest turn around that I have seen on their shipping.  I ordered a sweater from them on Tuesday night and it arrived three days later.  Conversely, Amazon's Super Saver shipping is the worst, I've had items coming from Kentucky take 2 weeks to arrive.


At the request of Tim Street I will now talk about Lando Calrissian.  Lando is a good friend to Han Solo and a known scoundrel and all-round ladies man.  He is probably best know as the only black guy in Star Wars and for blowing up an uncompleted Death Star⁽³⁾.  Here is a picture of Lando in Lego form.  Calm under pressure Lando knows that Han will have that shield down, we've just got to give him more time.  Lando is in no way related to Dumbledore Calrissian who needed to return a ring to Mordor.


Sara Zimmer says, "Write about rabies."  Okay.  Rabies, not to be confused with scabies or babies, is a virus that is often carried by wild mammals.  If you have rabies right now you should probably stop reading my blog and go seek medical help, other wise you will probably die.  Apparently there are a number of countries where rabies is no longer present.  One of which is Australia (as well as a lot of Europe) at first this might not seem fair, but those guys have it alot worse...trust me.  Here are some important facts about rabies from Michael Scott, Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin.

"Myth - three Americans die every year from rabies. Fact - four Americans every year die from rabies. How many of you know someone that has been afflicted or affected by rabies? Show of hands. One, two, three... too many to count. It is truly the silent killer. No, it is the foaming barking killer."

Thanks Michael, that was extremely helpful.  Hope you enjoyed my smattering of topics.  And the footnotes.

Seriously, who wants to see Where the Wild Things Are or The Road with me?
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(1) On the terribly named show "Wife Swap," I swear some TV executives need to be slapped or thrown in jail or both.
(2) If it turns out this was all some elaborate hoax the parents should have to pay back the tax payers money that was wasted chasing that balloon down.  If they can't afford it they should be forced to watch terrible reality TV shows until their eyes fall out.
(3) And he probably killed thousand of private contractors hired to complete the Death Star.  For a discussion on the ethical implications of killing thousands of non-combatants I invite you to watch this clip from the movie Clerks (click here) please note that this clip almost certainly contains vulger language.