On the Season of Awards

In which we reflect back on some of the momentous occasions of the past year.


It's award season again, or at least it was¹. The Oscars have come and gone and praise has been placed upon actors, directors, producers, and others in the film industry. I hate movie awards, you can read all about it here.

This year, however, I am going to handout some awards of my own.

• Most Badass Hero That Might Also Be Autistic, Maybe - Ryan Gosling (the Driver), Drive

• Best On-Screen Duo - James McAvoy & Micheal Fassbender (Professor X & Magneto), X-Men: First Class

• Best Movie That the Trailer Made Look Terrible - Rise of the Planet of the Apes

• Most Likely to Remind You of the Wire - Attack the Block

• Most Forgetable Blockbuster - Cowboys & Aliens²

• MRR (Most Rediculous Runner) - Tom Cruise (Ethan Hunt), Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

• Least Favorite Movie - Sherlock Holmes

• Rookie of the Year - John Boyega, Attack the Block

• Most Magical Film Experience - Hugo (in 3D)

• Most Hottest Actor³ - Chris Helmsworth, Thor

• Most Cutest Actress - Jodie Whittaker, Attack the Block

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¹ Honesty time, this post was supposed to be written over a week ago

² No joke, as I was thinking of these I forgot about Cowboys & Aliens and almost awarded it to a different movie

³ Thanks Colleen for the award name

On A Very Nerdy Birthday Request

In which a new birthday request is granted, a list is made, and things get geeky.


My friend Brendan, aka B-Carl, aka Beez, aka Professor Beezley¹, made a request for a birthday blog post. His request: "Why Marvel is better than DC." If you didn't know, these are two comic book companies. Marvel is responsible for: Iron Man, Spider-Man, the X-men, and the Avengers. DC is responsible for: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman².

You're about the reach your geek quota for the day. Hold on to your butts.

Top Ten Reasons Marvel is Better than DC³.

Number 10: Runaway teenagers fight crime with their psychic dinosaur.

Number 9: Luke Cage and Dr. Doom have a frank discussion⁴. 

Number 8: Criminal, some of the best stories I've ever read, in any medium.

Number 7: Syllable counting heroes = adorable.  

Number 6: Mustache buddies.

Number 5, Part I: You are going to want to make this big...

Number 5, Part II: Seriously, it's insane⁵.

Number 4: I love that the dudes watch their friend get kicked through a train.

Number 3: Devil Dinosaur and Moon-Boy, I don't need to add anything else.

Number 2: Stop. Deadpool time.

Number 1: Kate Beaton does Marvel!

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¹ Okay, so no one has called him this. Yet...
² Some real original names these authors came up with
³ In no particular order
⁴ Ah the 70's.
⁵ And I don't mean that the art is insanely good, though it is, I mean that it's something a crazy person would dream up

On Random Thoughts Part IV: Widdle Baby Gets Her Way

In which we, unexpectedly, return to random topic jumping.

Last week, after I got home from work, I saw that Sarah Street had left me a Facebook message suggesting topics for the blog post I had just finished. I told her she was too late, she told me that I should make a post that covers her suggestions. Now I'm not one to cater to the whims of the masses¹, but she had some good suggestions, so here we go.

Sarah says, "Write about..."

The Grammys - I'm not an awards show guys, and I'm not really much of a music guy either. Which isn't to say I don't like music, I just tend to listen to things people suggest, or to music made by people I know, so I'm usually out of the loop about the big artists of the year. So needless to say I don't really care about the Grammys, like, at all. I was shocked to see that Kanye was up for some awards, not because I didn't think he deserved to be, but rather because it seems like his album came out forever ago as opposed to last January².

Gardens - My most vivid garden memories involve both of my grandparents' gardens. My grandpa Joe (mom's dad) had a garden up in Wisconson, and more than anything I can remember that he grew beets and would pickle them, so everytime we went to visit we would eat beets out of mason jars. I loved them, but we never had beets any other time, or any other way, until recently when I started roasting them. My grandparents on my dad's side (Kenneth and Katherine) had a garden as well, I remember it was on the other end of their property by a creek. To get there you could either walk through the woods or follow a long path all the way down from the house³. I can still picture sitting on my grandfathers lap as we drove the riding mower down to the garden, everything about their backyard has a mystical glow about it in my mind. I also saved my sisters life once when she almost fell in to the creek, I only bring this up now because if she is reading this I want her to remember it when she is comes to a later item.

Olympics - Let's get this out of the way right up front: The Winter Olympics are way better than Summer. Curling alone would do it, but add in an event where you ski and then shoot targets, or guys flying down an icy mountain as fast as they can on a tiny sled, it's just way more exciting. I guess the Summer Olympics are coming up with year, maybe I'll try and watch some soccer⁴. Maybe.

Favorite 90's singers - In the early 90's it was easily Boyz II Men, who are one of three artists to replace themselves as #1 on the Billboard top hundred⁵. In the later 90's I was more into alternative rock (or Alt-Rock if you will). Groups like Cake, Sublime (who were really more Ska-Punk), Green Day, The Offspring.

Most useless article of clothing - Thinking about this as a guy was tough, I feel like there isn't much we have to wear that doesn't serve a purpose. However, I did come up with two things. One that I've warn and one that I haven't. Vests, either sweater or suit, are kind of dumb, just put some sleeves on there. Sock garters, I don't know if any men still use these⁶, but we've got elastic now, your socks will stay up on their own. The vests are what I have worn.

Buffet Lines - Years ago, when I was on staff with Young Life, I asked one of the students that I knew what he wanted to do for his birthday. He told me that he wanted to go to the Black Buggy Amish Buffet in Washington IN, which was like an hour away. It was summer so I said, "Sure." So Nick (the student), his friend, a co-leader of mine (also Nick) and I drove up to Washington to get Black Buggy. The thing you need to realize is that Black Buggy has the best buffet ever. It's legitimate Amish food which means it is a) delicious and b) very, very heavy. What makes this story more ridiculous is that we ate, then immediately headed back down to Newburgh because there was a Ultimate Frisbee game that evening. Eating at a buffet, driving an hour, then playing Frisbee was not the best decision I've ever made. Food was good though.

Circus Peanuts - What idiot invented these? They have everything going against them: bad taste⁷, gross texture, sad looking. When you eat them you end up feeling like you wasted your time and come out a worse person. They are the Michael Moore of candy.

The MLS - I've never seen an MLS game, I'd like to at some point. I think it would be a fun experience.

My wedding - I'm taking this to mean Sarah's wedding, not my wedding. And that's going to get me into some trouble. My sister got married last October, the wedding was down in Nashville, TN. It was an amazing weekend, I had a fantastic time, the food was great, we took pictures all around the city, the venue for the reception was phenomenal, my sister was as beautiful as any bride has ever been, and as an added bonus, she married a great guy. I say all that so that you will understand how serious I am when I tell you that when Tim and Sarah got married a month later it was the BEST wedding I've ever been to (dear sister, please remember that I once saved your life). It was a great combination of lots of friends, lots of dancing, lots of beer, great food, face plants, post wedding hangout, reunions, laughing, and them more dancing. This picture sums it up pretty well.

Photo by Cathy & David Photographers
http://www.cathydavidphoto.com/

So congratulations Tim and Sarah, my sister probably hates me now.

Steve Martin - You know what movie I really love? Bowfinger. Here's some things it's got going for it: Steve Martin being funny, Eddie Murphy being funny (surprisingly), Yoda directs⁸ it, rips on Scientology, Heather Graham doesn't ruin it (surprisingly), a great Robert Downey Jr cameo. I wonder if it's on Netflix Instant view?

The color orange - Would that be a 2 wing 3, or a 3 wing 2?

__________________________________________________________
¹ Oh, wait. That is totally what I do
² Technically, the January before last
³ It probably wasn't as long as I remember, but I was much smaller then
⁴ Or football, if you rather
⁵ The others were The Beatles and Elvis
⁶ Other than to denote stereotypical rich guys in movies
⁷ Taste is the most important part
⁸ Frank Oz, who was the voice and puppet master for both Yoda and Fozzie Bear

On Random Thoughts Part III: The Returnering

In which a multitude of topics are covered in no particular order whatsoever...

I recently finished reading The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, I had forgotten how dry a lot of Tolkien's writing is, especially after (spoiler alert) the ring is destroyed but before the scouring of the Shire. The Shire chapter is great, however, and along with the Dúnedain riding with Aragorn represent two of the moments I was most sad to not see in the movies¹.

Huck asked: "Is it creepy to go to a high school basketball game if you don't have kids or never went to that school but you just love basketball?" Not if you live in Indiana. Unfortunately Huck just moved to Alaska, I don't think they even know what basketball is up there. I hope you like sled dog racing and ice fishing Huck.

Daniel Radcliffe, you are officially on notice². You gave an interview recently in which you complained about Hugo getting nominated for an Oscar while HPDHPII did not. Look, bro, HPDHPII was a serviceable conclusion to the HP saga, it was a giant summer spectacle that entertained for the two hours I was in the theater. What it was not: one of the best movies of the year, one of the best movies of the summer, heck, it wasn't even the best HP movie. Hugo meanwhile was a beautiful story that pushed the boundaries of a new medium of film making³, it was probably the best movie I saw this year and while I don't think it will win Best Picture it deserves to be in the running (and to win).

Sara Trombley's awesome son, Luke, asked me to blog about scary monster and Voltron. Voltron, for those you who are out of the loop, is a giant super-robot that is made up of five smaller lion robots. Each lion is piloted by a human member of the Voltron Force, they fly through space busting the heads of nogoodnicks and scoundrels alike. If things get tough they combine into Voltron, go teamwork. Scary monsters are monsters that are scary⁴. In a fight between scary monsters and Voltron, Voltron would win 10 out of 10 times, because Voltron is a good guy and they always win and because scary monsters are big dumb heads.

Bonus Voltron fun facts: 1) Voltron was created by taking a Japanese show, Beast King GoLion⁵, and editing it and writing new stories. B) I had a Voltron toy when I was a kid, it's made of plastic and metal, it clocks in at about 2-3 pounds despite only being a foot tall. Last one) Each lion resided in a different environment.

One of the best movies to watch with someone who hasn't seen it is The Usual Suspects. I wish I could go back in time and watch it again without knowing anything about. In high school some friends of mine were over and we had rented this but I wasn't really paying attention, someone said that if I wasn't going to actually watch it I should just turn it off. That was some of the best advice I've ever received in my life.

I asked TaraB what I should write about, she said, "probably kittens." If you were hoping you could use that as your blog's name, too late, some girl took it, but she only wrote once last May, so maybe she will give it to you. However, your band, album, or book can all be named "Probably Kittens" if you want and you won't run into copy-write issues. Is your cat mysteriously getting fat? Probably kittens⁶.

I don't know if you heard, but the Indianapolis Colts had a rough year, after which they cleaned house, Jim Irsay fired just about everyone he could. Now the question is which players will be returning, with Manning obviously being the biggest question. Irsay has been running his mouth a lot, or his twitter, and has repeatedly made an ass of himself and many think Manning is on his way out of Indy. Here's the thing, Manning made the Colts relevant, he is the greatest quarterback of his generation, possibly any, he deserves to end his career as a coach. No one has asked me what I would do in this situation, but based on what I've read this is what I would suggest: Step one) Manning has offered to restructure his deal to be a pay-for-play option, do this. Then roll the dice with Manning, it's risky but a player like Manning is worth it. Step two) trade the first pick, lots of teams want Luck the Colts probably get three picks this draft and three next year as well, then you build your team. The most important step is no matter what he decides Isray needs to keep his mouth shut. Jim Irsay, consider yourself on notice.

Tim Street says, "calvinism."  I don't know if I'm a calvinist in the purest sense⁷, but we do see eye to eye on a few topics.

Motivation

The Education System

Simplicity

Calvin has some...interesting views on life.

Back to LotR. I think this is my favorite quote from all of the books:

There are many things in the deep waters; and seas and lands may change. And it is not our part here to take thought only for a season, or for a few lives of men, or for a passing age of the world. We should seek a final end of this menace, even if we do not hope to make one. - Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring, 319

Sparkles says, "I think you should write...about why the commerce clause is the basis for nearly every constitutional question the supreme court considers." We must first consider commerce as a concept and then take into account the inherent ramifications on both the national and the international zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

_________________________________________________________
¹ But not at all surprised
² That would be the official "D-Bag Warning Notice"
³ It was seriously the most original use of 3D that I've seen in a film
⁴  It's also the title of David Bowe's 1980 album
⁵ Apparently the animation company originally wanted a different show about a giant lion-based super-robot but were sent this one instead
⁶ Unless it's a boy cat, then probably not
⁷ I'm more of a Hobbesist if anything

On Next Weeks Blog Post

In which a tease and a request are made.


Next week I am going to write a post containing short random thoughts. I've done it twice before (here and here) and it is way more fun if people suggest topics for me to write about. So if there is something you want me to ramble about, or just have a question that you want me to answer, please let me know. I guarantee to answer every question¹ and respond to every comment².

Lay'em on me.
___________________________________________________________
¹ Questions may be answered inaccurately and/or dishonestly.
² You've got till next Wednesday to send me requests.

On Birthday Wishes

In which the long standing tradition of writing a blog post for a birthday continues.


We are fast approaching February the second. Which, as any long time readers will know, means that the topic for this week's post was suggested by my good friend Seth Rowe¹. Previous examples can be found here and here².

This year, when I asked Seth what he would like me to write about he asked me to have "a point-counterpoint blog about television. one pro-television and one anti-television³" that would span across two different blogs. I thought about it, considered who I would turn to to act as the second blogger⁴, thought about what I would say for each side of the argument, and then (in keeping with the birthday-blog tradition) took the idea and ran with it⁵.

Here's what I came up with. Happy Birthday Seth⁶.

Click on the images to make them bigger.

It is probably not all that surprising, but my view on the issue is a combination of both of the main characters monologues. Hope you enjoyed my arts⁷.
__________________________________________________________
¹ I'd link you to Seth's blog, but he doesn't blog frequently enough, so I've enacted a linking embargo
² The links are chronological
³ Quote courtesy of our G-Chat
⁴ Since I usually use Sarah Street's blog as a muse I was going to ask her to co-author with me
⁵ Like in a good game of charades, taking ideas and running with them Jimmy Mann style is a cornerstone of this blog
⁶ Isn't it amazing that I was able to fit so many footnotes into such a small block of text?
⁷ If you'd ever like your birthday present to be a blog post all you have to do is ask

On Teasing Your Brain

In which a last minute alternative is brought forth...


I had a totally different post written, unfortunately it was insanely boring. I was bored writing it, I was even more bored when I proof read it¹. So right before I hit the publish button I pulled the plug. Trust me, we're all better off.

When I started my job back in October I decided to do a daily brain teaser. I spent about a week, or so, scouring various sources for brain teasers that I could use. I came up with 99 total and at this point I've got about 40 left to use. My sources included: the interwebs, The Hobbit, a brain teaser board-game, co-workers, students. Most were average, some were not very good at all, a few, I think, are pretty good. Here are some of my favorites.

1) Using the numbers 1-8 (each number only once) fill in the circles so that the numbers add up to the total in each shape.

2) A man who lives on the tenth floor takes the elevator down to the first floor every morning and goes to work. In the evening, when he comes back, on a rainy day, or if there are other people in the elevator, he goes to his floor directly. Otherwise, he goes to the seventh floor and walks up the remaining three flights of stairs to his apartment. Why?

3) There are three light bulbs in a room with no windows and only one door, which is closed. Outside of the room there are three switches. You can turn the switches off and on as many times as you choose, but can only open the door once. Once the door is open you can no longer touch the switches. How can you determine with light bulb corresponds with which switch?

4) What is a five letter word, in the English language, whose pronunciation isn't changed when you remove four of it's letters?

5) Which side of the line would 'Z' be on?
                                                             
  A        EF  HI  KLMN            T   VWXY
     BCD    G    J           OPQRS  U


6) Which direction is the bus moving²?

If you have any brain teasers let me know³.
__________________________________________________________
¹ It may come as a surprise but I do proof read.
² Aren't my paint skills amazing?
³ I'll bet I've already got it though.

On Updating Classics With Explosive Results

In which we make movies you know and love much more extreme and badass.


Preamble: For the second week in a row my blog post is the result of reading Sarah's blog, though this time it is more the product of a discussion we were having in her comments section. Therefore, I have decreed Sarah's blog to be the official muse for my insanity¹.

I've seen a lot of movies. Good movies, bad movies, memorable movies, and some that are totally forgettable². If there is one thing I've learned from decades of movie watching it's that you can make a good movie great and a bad movie better simply by adding one important thing. Explosions. The more the better.

In film there are a few ways that a character can respond to an explosive situation.

1. Be a dingus, get blow'd up.
2. Run away from the blast, look like an idiot.
3. Run away from the blast, jump at the last second, look badass.
4. Walk away from the explosion, never look back 'cause you planned that shit, look like a certified badass.

Some musical context:

Here are some movies that would be vastly improved with some epic explosions.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II (2011)

HP, Ronnie the Bear, and the Wretched Harmony³ discover that Nagini isn't actually one of Voldemort's horcruxes (twist!) but instead that last horcrux is Hogwarts itself (double twist!). The gang seeks out the aide of Aldous Bowerstone professor of the Explosive Arts (played by Tom Cruise). Professor Bowerstone and Ronnie the Bear sneak deep into Hogwarts and place time delayed explosive enchantments all around the heart of the august and venerated building. They start their long trek out, with plenty of time to spare, when suddenly Jimmy the deatheater jumps around the corner and starts battling them. Jimmy manages to disarm Professor Bowerstone and turns his attention to Ronnie. Unfortunately for Jimmy he's dealing with Ronnie the Effing Bear, Ronnie scoops up Bowerstone's wand and, jumping through the air, fires off two sweet shots simultaneously to knock Jimmy out. Ronnie and Bowerstone start again to leave Hogwarts, when suddenly Bowerstone's magical countdown lets them know the are running out of time. They begin to run (which is why Cruise was cast, because he such an elegant runner) as explosions begin deep in the bowels of Hogwarts, they approach the edge of the school just as the explosions reach them so they jump with all their might, riding the shock wave to safety. Harmony runs up, jumps in Ronnie's arms and totally snogs him, because he is so badass. [scene]

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Option 1:

The warden pulls down Andy's poster revealing the hole in the wall, Red slips into his voice over and montage of Andy's escape, though in a slightly different order.


[Interior pipe: Andy crawling through pipes toward camera]

Red

Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to.

[exterior Shawshank, raining: Andy emerges from pipe]

Five hundred yards... that's the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile. 

[exterior Shawshank, raining: Andy walks downstream, removing dirty clothes. Music builds]

Oh, Andy loved geology. I imagine it appealed to his meticulous nature. An ice age here, million years of mountain building there. Geology is the study of pressure and time. That's all it takes really, pressure, and time. 

[exterior Shawshank, raining: Andy, shirtless, pullsout detonator and presses button]

That, and a big goddamn explosion. 

[exterior Shawshank, raining: Andy walks casually towards camera like a total badass, cue explosion in background]


Cut back to warden in cell, pull back through hole and reveal wreckage that was the east wing of Shawshank.
[scene]


Option 2:

Red meets with the parole board for the final time. They ask if he feels he is rehabilitated. The dialogue remains the same as in the original, the head of the board stamps his stamp freeing Red.

Cut to:
[exterior Shawshank main gates, Red walks slowly away from gates, pulls small item out of suit coat] 

Red

Rehabilitate this...

[exterior Shawshank main gates, Red pushes button (cue explosion) and continues to walk towards the camera like a badass as Shawshank is destroyed]

[scene]

Steamboat Willie (1928)

Here's the original, if you've never seen it:

If you didn't watch it I'll bring you up to speed. Micky Mouse is a true freak. He rams a pitchfork down a cows stomach, creepily snakes a hook through his girlfriends underpants to sneak her onboard, then abuses farm animals for his musical enjoyment. Finally, Captain Pete is fed up with Micky's debauchery and forces him to peel potatoes while a parrot mocks him. The end.

Make it better? Okay.

Micky, who has been ordered to peel potatoes, is fed up with Pete pushing him around, and that stupid parrot laughing at him. Also, he is worried that his girlfriend is now alone with such a hulking adonis, so he hatches a scheme to get his revenge. In the midst of the potato pile he hides a short fuse explosive device. He runs through the door, jump kicking Pete in the back of the head as he is chatting up Minnie. He grabs Minnie's hand and they make a run for the back of the boat. Just as the boat explodes they leap from the gunwale and the blast pushes them to safety. They swim to the shore as the burning wreckage sinks to the bottom of the river. Minnie turns to Micky and says, "You are such a badass, let's make out." And they do. [fin]


The Graduate (1967)


In undergrad I took a film class. One of our assigned movies was The Graduate, it's on a lot of "top movies of all time" lists. I, however, was bored out of my gourd. It was not an enjoyable film experience⁴. However, there are some incredibly iconic moments to be found, none more so than the ending of the film where Dustin Hoffman runs to interrupt the wedding of the girl he loves. He bangs on a giant window from the balcony while screaming her name. She runs to him and they fight off the families and escape the church, hopping on the first bus that passes. Once they are on the bus their smiles fade and "The Sounds of Silence" plays. This is meant to imply that while they escaped the paths laid out for them they aren't very sure of the new direction they are headed.

Maybe I would have enjoyed the movie more if, instead of running from the church Ben and Elaine causally walk away. Elaine pulls out a detonator (gender twist!) and blows up the whole damn church. When they reach the street Ben turns to her and says, "You are such a badass" and then makes out with her⁵. They hop into a convertible and drive into the sunset as Black Sabbath, or something equally are guitar heavy, plays incredibly loudly. [the end]

Someone get the president of Hollywood on the phone, I've got some ideas.

[scene]
__________________________________________________________
¹ In fact, I've created a new label so I can track which posts her blog inspired.
² I'd list some, but I can't remember their names. Hey-oh!
³ Google search (or Youtube search) "Wizard People, Dear Reader"
⁴ In all fairness, I was an idiot 20 year old
⁵ Because being a certified badass knows no gender boundaries, just ask Ginny Weasley

On Companion Pieces

In which reading is required before we can begin


Earlier this week my friend, Sarah Street, wrote a blog post about the movies she was looking forward to watching this year. I had considered writing a similar post of my own, but decided against it. Then when I read hers I thought it would be fun to write a response to her choices here instead of in her comments. So the first thing that you need to do is go and read her post. She will introduce the movies and give her thoughts, both of which you will need to know to fully enjoy this post¹. Check it out here.


Dr. Seuss's The Lorax (March 2)



Zac Efron is never a selling point, ever. The best thing he ever did was a bit part in Firefly and even then he was a little obnoxious. Also, when I watch this and hear Danny DeVito's voice all I can think of is Frank Reynolds on It's Always Sunny.


2 - The Hunger Games (March 23)



I've got huge hopes for Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss (if you doubt me go rent Winters Bone). I'm still curious as to how this movie will deal with the subject matter, because as Sarah mentioned it is gruesome. Hopefully they strike a good balance between the need to show violence, as it is integral to the plot, without it being remorseless and gratuitous. Also, Sarah, Peeta is 16, that's gross.


1 - The Avengers (May 4)



Ironically, I thought that Tom Hiddleston's Loki was one of the best parts of Thor, so I'm psyched that he is coming back. Also, I can't imagine a director more well suited than Joss Whedon to get a great performance out of an ensemble cast. It's hard to imagine all of these characters on screen at the same time, it will be awesome.


Snow White and the Huntsman (June 1)



How can we make the story of Snow White more hip? Let's combine the Huntsman character with Aragorn (1:07). And throw in some Braveheart war scenes (0:15). Creepy, naked milk bath (0:39)? Why not. Last but not least, lets add some dragons (1:05) and trolls (1:27). Success! Also, this is totally shallow of me, but I'm sorry Charlize Theron is way more attractive than Kristen Stewert. That mirror is crazy.


3 - Prometheus (June 8)



Magneto, Ed Exley and effing Stringer Bell² all in the same movie? Yes, please. Also, during production they modeled all of the sets after sets in the original Alien so it shouldn't have the Star Wars prequel effect³. From what I've read most people are very excited for this.


The Amazing Spider-Man (July 3)



I don't know how I feel about this movie yet. I think (hope) that Andrew Garfield will be good as Peter Parker and I totally trust Emma Stone as Gwen Stacey. But do we really need to reboot this franchise already? At least be creative about it like X-Men: First Class. I kind of wish Sony had the stones to let Donald Glover play Spider-man.


The Dark Knight Rises (July 20)



If the trend continues people are going to freak-the-geek out about this movie and I will walk away thinking that it was alright, but that it felt bloated due to Christopher Nolans desire to cram as many story lines into a movie as he can. Also, he will totally waste great characters⁴. On the plus side this should be the last movie with gravelly voiced Batman.


9 - The Bourne Legacy (August 3)

A bunch of us are watching/re-watching all the Bourne movies (we've watched the first two so far) and it's made me remember how much I enjoyed them. I really like Jeremy Renner as an actor, but the supporting cast is what has me really excited: Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton, Albert Finney, and Oscar Isaac, it should be a good one.


6- Skyfall (November 9)

Like Sarah, I am a sucker for a Bond movie. The addition of Javier Bardem is just the icing on the cake (Sam Mendes directing doesn't hurt either). I am a little concerned they are adding the character Q back in, hopefully he is not as cheesy as he was in earlier Bonds.


The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II (November 16)

Barf, barf, barf, barf, barf, barf, sparkly guy, barf, barf, barf. The only good thing about this movie is that it is the last one.


Lincoln (December TBA)

I'm pretty excited for this flick. Stephen Spielberg directs (not Soderberg, you blew it Mrs. Street), and Sarah was right about Joseph Gordon-Levitt being awesome. Plus, freaking Daniel Day-Lewis, c'mon, look at that picture. It's like Lincoln came back from the dead for a relaxing lunch. Color me excited⁵.


Les Miserables (December 7)

Despite Les Miserables being one of the best musicals I've ever seen this movie has not been on my radar. However, Wolverine and Catwoman in it, what could be better? I too am interested in seeing Russel Crowe sing. PS sorry about the picture, I couldn't find any pictures of the film, I don't remember there being a scene in Les Mis  where Jean Valjean wears a pineapple shirt and plays the maracas, but I may be mistaken about that.


5 - The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (December 14)



So I'm re-reading The Hobbit currently, it's funny that almost everything that I remember from the story happens in the first third of the book. Which means everything I remembered from the book will happen in this movie (it's a two parter, one this year one next). Also, if you enjoyed the original trilogy this trailer was made to make you remember that fact.


The Great Gatsby (December 25)

I enjoy movies despite Leonado DiCaprio, not because of him. I also don't like Tobey Maguire very much at all. So it's safe to say I'm not really looking forward to this movie. I do like Carey Mulligan though, she's got a cuteness to her for sure.

The Rest of the Story

10 - Moonrise Kingdom (May 25)

Wes Anderson ramps his "Wes Andersonness" up to eleven⁶ in this new film about two kids who fall in love and run away from home causing the entire town to mobilize to find them. You can check out the trailer here. While the trailer makes this movie look extremely over the top I am pretty excited due to some of the casting. In addition to some Wes Anderson regulars we'll get to see Ed Norton, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Harvey Keitel and Bruce Willis play in Anderson playground, it should be fun.

8 - Argo (September 14)

Ben Affleck is a decent actor, but he is a great director, and he is back behind the camera for his third movie, Argo. The movie, based on a true story, takes place during the 1979 Iran hostage conflict and is about the CIA attempting to free hostages by convincing the Iranian government that they are all a part of the film crew of a Sci-Fi movie. No trailer yet, but Affleck has earned enough credit with me that I am excited already.

4 - Looper (September 28)

Director Rian Johnson, whose other works include Brick⁷ and Brothers Bloom, has style out the wazoo. He tends to couple that with great characters and fantastic stories. So when I heard that his next movie would be dealing with time travel and star Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Bruce Willis it immediately jumped to the top of my "want to see" list. Details of the plot are being kept intentionally vague, but here is what we know:

"Looper is a time travel movie, set in a near future where time travel doesn’t exist but will be invented in a few decades. It’s pretty dark in tone, much different from Bloom, and involves a group of killers (called Loopers) who work for a crime syndicate in the future. Their bosses send their targets hogtied and blindfolded back in time to the Loopers, and their job is to simply shoot them in the head and dispose of the body. So the target vanishes from the future and the Loopers dispose of a corpse that doesn’t technically exist, a very clean system. Complications set in from there."


7 - Gravity (November 12)


Children of Men is one of my favorite movies and its director Alfonso Cuarón is returning to the Sci-fi genre with Gravity. I'll be honest, I was more excited for this film before Sandra Bullock was cast, especially since it is a small cast movie (Bullock and George Clooney will primarily be the only ones on screen) but the combination of Clooney and Cuarón is enough to overcome my distaste for Bullock. The synopsis makes it sound intense, Tim Felton will probably hate it, but he is a big wuss:

"Bullock plays Dr. Ryan Stone, a brilliant medical engineer on her first shuttle mission, with veteran astronaut Matt Kowalsky [George Clooney] in command of his last flight before retiring. But on a seemingly routine spacewalk, disaster strikes. The shuttle is destroyed, leaving Stone and Kowalsky completely alone–tethered to nothing but each other and spiraling out into the blackness."


Like Sarah I am excited for many of the movies this year, just not all the same ones she is.
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¹ And really, if you aren't going to fully experience something, why experience it at all?
² Michael Fassbender, Guy Pearce, and Idra Elba respectively.
³ In the original trilogy all of the ships and computers looked old and boxy, in the prequels everything was smooth and modern, which makes it look like the galaxy regressed technologically. Just one of the MANY problems in those movies.
⁴ See: Ra's Al Ghul in Batman Begins and Two Face in The Dark Knight.
⁵ Which begs the question: What color best represents "excited"?
⁶ "Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?"
⁷ Seriously, go watch this movie. Right. Now. It's on Netflix Instant View.

On Reflections of the Non-Harp Variety

In which we look to the future by considering the past.


This week at community dinner none of us¹ were feeling particularly motivated to lead any post dinner activities. Luckily for us one of our good friends, Rob, came to the rescue. He led us through an activity designed to help us reflect on the upcoming year, I thought it was pretty awesome and I figured would immortalize my reflections on Ye Olde Internet.

Rob started the activity by having us sit in silence for a few moments. He then read out a primer, "I hope..." for example. I don't know what others in the room did, but I challenged myself to not over think things and simply just write the first thing that came to mind. For the purposes of this blog I am going to write each prompt and then hide my response in a spoiler, additional thoughts will be in italics. My reason for doing this is simple, I want this to be a participatory blog post. When you read each write down (or at least think about) how you would respond². Okay, here we go.

I hope...

for a new job, and a new relationship.

My search for a permanent job has been going on far too long, it would be swell if someone hired me. Hopefully, I'll get some good news this week. The other thing is simply that I am 30, I'd be great to be in a relationship with someone. Maybe get married eventually.

I'm afraid...

of being stagnant.

When things get overwhelming I tend to just shut down³, this year I want to push myself to not let that happen.

I will...

push myself (to write more, to sell myself harder to employers).

I've been missing writing lately, and would like to get back in the habit of blogging more often, or just writing in general. I'm going to start shooting for once a week again. Also, during any interviews I might have I am going to attempt to put my humility aside and let any potential employers know that I am the ultimate badass.

I will not...

allow uncertainty to cripple my relationships.

Not knowing what I was doing with work was giving me an excuse not to fully invest in the people around me (community, small group, etc.) and I knew it had to stop. This is something I've been better about of late, but I want to keep working on it.

I will start...

to value myself more but to work to improve myself at the same time.

You'll start to see a number of these tie together, I was alright with that. An improved self-confidence is important for most people, part of that comes from excepting yourself for who you are and part of it comes form working to make yourself better.

I will stop...

driving so much; relying on myself as much.

I need to ride my bike more and I need to be praying more. Josiah⁴ and I had a conversation a few weeks ago, and I mentioned that with life it is totally acceptable to work and try and strive for the things we want with everything we have in us, but that we also need to be praying and giving our stuff to God. I need to follow my own advice.

I want...

to feel a renewed sense of purpose.

Which is not to say I need a new purpose, but sometimes that is a part of it.

I need...

the support of others.

Tied to some of the other things on this list. I need to turn to my friends, my family and my community more.

I can...

overcome my faults and self doubts.

Pretty straight forward and a culmination of many of the other things on this list.

So there you have it. I truly hope you thought about these things for yourself. If you didn't it's not to late, go for it.

PS if you are wondering about the title of this particular post just google "Harp Reflections" and be both illuminated and horrified.
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¹ Carrie, Guff, Will, Colleen, Josiah and I (Tim was playing make believe in Indy).
² Of course, if you don't I'll never know. But Jesus will.
³ Ask Sarah Street, ultimate Enneagram nerd, why.
⁴ aka: Joshua, Josie, Blingfoot