On Food Coloring and Pokering

In which we hit a couple of different topics.

A couple of weeks ago Tim’s parents came to visit.  They had recently joined a C.S.A.¹ with a local orchard so when they came up they brought a good deal of fruits and vegetables with them.  While they were here we used some of their tomatoes for BLTs.  I will tell you what, it is nice having people come up from a few hours south because those tomatoes were perfectly ripe.

After they had left we had a few tomatoes left over so Carrie and I decided that we should make Caprese sandwiches with them².  So we grabbed some basil from the garden and some bread and mozzarella from the store.  They tasted really good and were super easy to make too.

• Step one – slice the bread, tomatoes and cheese.
• Step two – put tomatoes, basil and cheese into the bread.
• Step three – add salt, pepper, oil and balsamic vinegar to taste.
• Step four – Cram it down your food hole.

Here is a picture pre-cramming.  It was very Italian of us.  So if you are into cheap, easy to make, delicious meals give this a try.  It will have you saying gustoso in no time.

Eating colorful food has not been the only way that I have passed the time this summer.  I have also been playing a lot of poker with my friends.  Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker.

Now none of us are exactly super rich³ so we like to keep things at a low limit.  We have been buying in at between two and four dollars.  Additionally we set limits of 30 cent raises.

Now you may be asking, ‘How is that fun?’  Well in order to keep things interesting we play dealers choice.  This means that when you deal you pick the game.  This summer we have played: Texas Hold’em, Omaha, Seven Card Stud, Five Card Draw, Have a Heart, Follow the Lady⁴, GUTs, eBay, Cash Register Control⁵, Indian Poker, Follow the William, Indian Seven Card Stud, Screw Your Neighbor, I even created a game called Wheel of Fortune.  Here is a picture of a winning hand, but if you want to know how to play you will have to join a game.

We will also throw in variations such as wilds and low spade in the hole wins half the pot.  This helps to keep things both interesting as well as keeps people in games longer.  In fact, the hand of our game the other night ended up being very crazy because of this.  We were playing guts, which involves each player receiving three cards.  If you think your hand can beat the other players (no runs or flushes involved) you stay in, if not you drop out.  People that stay in have to match what was in the pot, the winner takes what had been in the pot.  We added the twist of having the lowest card in your hand always being wild, which means you always have at least a pair.

In this game we saw the chip leader lost most of his stack, we saw pot sizes of over ten dollars (easily the biggest of the night), and I went from ending the night losing over $5 to walking away up $3.  It always amazes me hour you can spend $4 and be entertained for an entire night.  And remember: you can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle, but you can’t win much either⁶.

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¹ Community Supported Agriculture.

² She’s still a little obsessed with her trip to Italy.

³ Or even ‘regular rich.’

⁴ Also known by the more crass name Follow the B****.

⁵ Carrie and I are currently working on variations Cash Register Reach-Around and Cash Register Carnage respectively.

⁶ Thank you Rounders for your bookending quotes.

On Poetic Apocalypse

In which we investigate post-apocalyptic worlds via haiku.

Children of Men

Eighteen years, no kids
Clive Owen must save a girl
Humanity’s hope?

The Book of Eli

A lone man travels west,
He must protect his book which
Gary Oldman¹ wants.

Six String Samurai

Rock’n’roll wasteland
One man, a guitar and sword
Will he be the king?

Akira

Neo-Tokyo:
Past mysteries are revealed
As Tetsuo’s rage grows.

12 Monkeys

Killer virus let
Loose, time traveler’s mission:
Take back the surface².

I Am Legend

The Fresh Prince alone
A virus from a cure for
Matt Damon’s folly³.

Mad Max

All the oil’s gone
S&M gangs roam the wastes
It’s the thunderdome.

Wall-E

Earth has been ruined
But amongst all the rubble
A love story grows.

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¹ It is a well known fact that Gary Oldman makes any movie better.
² Still my favorite Brad Pitt performance.
³ See the World War II section of On War On Film

On Kingly Ascension

In which an imprisoned individual claws his way from the depths of a dungeon to rule over all in his domain.

A week ago I was fortunate enough to spend a week as an adult guest at a Young Life camp¹.  Which, if you’ve never been, is not like your typical summer camp.  When you here the words ‘summer camp’ you are probably picturing something like this:


Not so at Young Life camp.  These are some of the most beautiful, well run, intentionally designed camps around.  Middle school and high school students are told that it will be the best week of their lives and it is rare trip in which that is not the case.  This is where we stayed:


But all of this is a prelude to the actual topic of this post.  In the middle of camp, right near the dining hall, there was an incredibly sweet Four-Square court.  And we played, a lot.  It had been a number of years since I had played four-square and I forgot how much fun it was.  There were always people playing so when we had some free time Tim and I would join in.

Early in the week the games would be filled with a bunch of dudes  that played games that allowed slams and they enjoyed crushing the ball as hard as they could.  This wasn’t much fun, so Tim decided to introduce a new style of play.  King rules.

In king rules whoever is in the king square² makes up the rules that they want to play by.  This, at first, allowed us to easily do away with overhand hits and slams.  As time went on we introduced other variations.  Examples include, having to spin after you hit the ball, screaming after you hit the ball, saying a state or color as you hit the ball, quarters³, and even requiring that the player be off the ground when a ball is struck.

At first the kids weren’t really into this new style of play, but it slowly caught on.  Later in the week we walked up to the court and found a group of students playing king rules even when we weren’t involved at in the game.  It was pretty great.  The girls really enjoyed coming up with random, or embarrassing, things to say after you hit the ball and it was cool to watch the kid abide by the rules set up by the king.  It made me miss being a Young Life leader more than anything else in the last four years⁴.  It also made me want to play four-square more often.  So if you have a ball and a some spare time drop me a line and we can get a game going.  Just be warned, I have a pretty awesome serve.
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¹ Timber Wolf Lake in northern Michigan.
² In four-square the squares are labeled dungeon, joker, queen, king.  The king square, which is the best, gets to serve.
³ In quarters at quarter is placed in the center of the court.  If a player can grab the quarter after striking the ball legally and is able to remain in play he or she automatically ascends to the king square.
⁴ Not enough to actually lead again though.