It was recently my friend Seth's birthday, since it is a free gift I offered, for a second year in row1, to write a blog post on the topic of his choice. He asked me to write about snow days. Since I just wrote about the reason behind snow days and I wrote about what I do on snow days last year I wasn't sure what I was going to write about. Finally though inspiration struck. So please enjoy these excerpts from my new screen play2:
INT. OFFICE. DAY.
A slightly overweight man sits at his desk, his rumpled shirt and tie almost match. He stares down at a desk covered with reports and memos while the new message light on his phone blinks unendingly. There is a knock at the door.
CHIEF RODRIGUEZ
Come in.
The door opens and a stylishly dressed man enters. His expensive looking suit coat bulges out slightly where his shoulder holster rests.
SNOW
You wanted to see me chief?
CHIEF RODRIGUEZ
I did. Shut the door and sit down.
Snow moves around to the front of the brown leather chair and takes a seat.
CHIEF RODRIGUEZ
I've been reviewing your handiwork all morning. This is some mess you've caused. Do you have anything to say for yourself?
SNOW
Sometimes you have to break some eggs to make an omelet.
CHIEF RODRIGUEZ
(pause)
Sometimes you have to break...that's it? That's all you've got?
(enraged)
I've got a pile of complaints, emails and memos a mile high. My phone hasn't stopped ringing all morning. We've got three suspects in the morgue, a dozen bystanders in the hospital, and millions of dollars in property damage. Where did all of this mayhem get you in your investigation?
SNOW
Vandoren is behind it, he always has been. You know it and I know it.
The chief stand up swiftly, his chair is pushed back into the wall, he is visibly upset.
CHIEF RODRIGUEZ
(screaming)
Senator Vandoren is one of the wealthiest, most well respected men in this city. Your witch hunt against him has already cost this department too much, I'm shutting you down.
SNOW
(screaming)
You're taking me off the case.
CHIEF RODRIGUEZ
(screaming)
I'm doing more than that. I'm suspending you, effective immediately. Turn in your gun and badge.
Snow stand up and very deliberately removes his pistol, ejects the clip, clears the chamber and sets the gun on the desk.
SNOW
You are wrong on this one chief. You are letting a complete sociopath literally get away with murder.
CHIEF RODRIGUEZ
And you are a loose cannon Snow Day. I've been waiting a long time for this day to come, now get out of my office.
Snow looks down at his badge one last time before flipping it onto the desk.
SNOW
It's funny that you mention that, because there is something I've been waiting a long time for as well.
Snow pulls back and punches the Chief in the nose sending him to the ground. He then turns and walks out of the office.
CHIEF RODRIGUEZ
(yelling)
SNOW DAY!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
INT. BAR. NIGHT
The dank bar is lit with a few flickering florescent lights. The ground is littered with broken bottles and unconscious or dead men. Snow Day stands behind the bar holding a rough looking biker by his black leather jacket.
SNOW
When is the shipment coming in?
BIKER
Hey man, I ain't tellin you nothin.
SNOW
Have it your way. It looks like we've got a weather advisory, things are about to get a little icy.
Snow drags the biker to the ice chest and shoves his head into the ice. The biker begins to kick and flail. Snow pulls him up.
SNOW
Give me the date.
BIKER
No
Snow returns him to the ice, then pulls him out.
SNOW
(yelling)
The date!
BIKER
(teeth chattering)
I, I can't.
Snow moves to put his head back in the ice.
BIKER
Wait! Wait, I'll tell you. Saturday, it's coming Saturday.
SNOW
(menacingly)
What. Time.
BIKER
Midnight.
Snow hits the biker in the stomach and he slouches to the ground. Snow begins to walk out of the bar. The biker sees a sawed-off shotgun under the bar and grabs it. Snow pauses as he hears the biker rack the gun.
BIKER
(screaming)
You son of a...
Snow spins around pulling out his pistol, he shoots the biker before he can get his shot off. The bikers body falls back into the ice chest.
SNOW
Chill out.
---------------------------------------------------
EXT. PARK. NIGHT.
Rain is falling heavily as Snow and a beautiful brunette woman stand beneath a street light. The pair lean in close as they talk.
ALICIA
I'm leaving town tonight Snow, it's not safe for me anymore.
SNOW
Don't say that. I'm close, I can feel it. Stay here, with me, I can keep you safe. Once I put Vandoren away for good we can be together.
ALICIA
You can't stop him, my husband is just too well connected. And he knows about us, if he finds me I'm dead.
[pause]
Come with me Snow, forget about this corrupt city, we can start a new life together. I love you Snow.
Snow pulls her in closer and they kiss. Alicia stares into Snow's eyes for a few seconds.
ALICIA
You aren't coming are you?
SNOW
You know I can't. Listen, you go, be safe. I've got to finish this with Vandoren, but then, I'm coming for you.
---------------------------------------------------
INT. DINER. DAY.
Snow sits at a booth with a thin black man with graying hair and a beat up looking suit and tie.
SNOW
I'm glad you're with me on this Johnny, there is no one else I can trust.
JOHN
Of course man, anything for you.
SNOW
I'll be honest, I didn't think I would get you away from your fishing boat.
JOHN
(laughing)
I didn't think you would either, retirement is really agreeing with me. But truth be told, I miss the excitement. Enough of this, we've got a job to do. You pay for lunch and I'll go get the car.
John leaves the diner, Snow reaches for his wallet as his cell phone rings.
SNOW
Hello?
MAN (os)
Is this Detective Day?
SNOW
It is, who is this.
MAN (os)
I've got a message for you. Senator Vandoren says, "boom."
SNOW
(quietly)
What?
An explosion is heard from outside, followed by screaming.
SNOW
(yelling)
Johnny!!
---------------------------------------------------
EXT. ROOFTOP. NIGHT.
Snow is on his knees on the roof of an abandoned high school, his arms are tied behind his back, he is beaten and bloody. Vandoren paces in front of Snow, hitting him in the stomach with his cane every so often. Snow is frantically trying to cut the rope that holds his hands together.
VANDOREN
You know, I should thank you Detective Day, I'm sorry I mean Mr. Day. Not only did you take out many of my chief competitors, but your rampage through the city today provided the perfect distraction allowing my shipment to arrive unmolested.
(pause)
What's the matter? Where is the patented Snow Day wit I've heard so much about? Where is the pithy comeback?
(pause)
Nothing? Such a pity. As I was saying, you did such a wonderful job for me today that I considered letting you live. However, there is the matter of your little, dalliance with my wife. My wife! Call me old fashion, but there is a little thing called the sanctity of marriage.
SNOW
How, exactly, does me catching you in a hot tub with two outrageously young women fit in with your idea of the sanctity of marriage?
Vandoren hits Snow in the stomach, hard.
VANDOREN
(grinning)
They weren't married.
Vandoren glances at his watch.
VANDOREN
I must say this has been an entertaining evening, unfortunately business must come before pleasure. You see, you were the only one who knew that I forced this school to close so that I could use it too process my heroin supply. And with you out of the way we will finally be open for business.
SNOW
Unfortunately for you, Senator, I see one small problem with you plan.
VANDOREN
Oh yes? And what would that be.
Snow finishes cutting his restraints and jumps up and grabs Vandoren before he is able to react. He walks him to the edge of the roof. As he is pushing him off the roof Snow says:
SNOW
It's a snow day, school's closed.
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1 Check out my attempt at poetry: here
2 Which I have crammed full of as many clichés as I could imagine
