On Random Thoughts Part II: Holiday Edition 2009

In which we return to a previous concept, a ridiculous title is used as well as a record number of footnotes.

LED Christmas lights are a great idea; they don't get hot and consume less energy.  Unfortunately they look terrible compared to old school lights, only coming in strings of 60 lights (that's pretty short) and they are expensive.  Call me when you fix these problems.

Colleen¹ wants to hear my thoughts on the zombie apocalypse, I hit on that once but I can add to it.  Now I'm no expert, but I have seen some movies, played some games (video and board) and read some books on the subject of zombies.  Here are the three most important things to take care of.  1) Shelter, this is the most important piece.  You need to find a place that can be easily fortified, this means a limited number of low windows and a manageable amount of entry points (you will want more that one way in and out, but you need to know about them all).  2) Weapons, be smart about this.  A gun seems like a good idea, but it might be more trouble than it's worth, they are hard to keep clean, tough to use, and ammo might be difficult to find.  If you really want one I would suggest a shotgun, it's got a good blast radius and ammo should be easier to come by.  You will also want some sort of melee weapon, a bat, an axe, a hammer something you can swing.  Just know that they will break down over time, and the heavier they are the longer they will last but the slower you will be with them.  3) Supplies, you will need food and water to survive.  So searching for supplies will always require some bravery.  You may have to leave your shelter to head into infested areas, make sure you stick to places you are familiar with especially at first, and find a good balance of bring back enough stuff so you don't have to go out all the time but won't slow you down.  Canned foods will be your best friend.  Good luck out there.

My family and I went to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra yesterday.  It was pretty crazy.  Imagine a combination of Christmas music, rock-opera, 80's hair, laser/light/fire display and a full orchestra.  I had a great time but it would have been a little better if they hadn't played their non-Christmas stuff for a 1/3 of the show.  It's two days before Christmas, play Christmas music.

Sarah² asked me to write about the use of Vince Guaraldi music in Arrested Development, some of you might remember that was a show on my list of Top Five shows.  The use of Guaraldi's jazzy Charlie Brown Christmas music was used throughout the episode titled "Good Grief" is an example of why this show is so classic.  The highlight for me comes from the fact that in the back ground you can catch a glimpse of a beagle sleeping on the top of a red dog house.


Carrie³ want me to talk about our mice.  We had mice in our house.  They are gross.  We have killed two of them to date.  I'm hoping that is the end of it, but I doubt it.  That's all I have to say on the subject.

Lauren⁴ asked two things, I'm picking one.  The origin of "Pop Goes the Weasel."  Did you know there are over ten versions of the stupid song, some with many, many verses.  The oldest dates back to 1855.  I don't know where it came from, but I think it may have been a song about visiting prostitutes⁵.  Check it out:

Up and down the City Road

In and out the Eagle

That's the way the money goes

Pop! goes the weasel⁶.

Cameron would like to know if cows fall over and if they do can they get themselves up.  They do tip over (either from being pushed or falling when stumbling on a hill).  Smaller cows, calves, and steer can right themselves, most full grown cows can't.  Cows that can't get themselves up often die due to exhaustion and stress.  (This answer brought to you by Yahoo answers).

I have always enjoyed eggnog.  Despite how terrible it is for you.  I can usually handle about 4 glasses throughout the Christmas season (Thanksgiving-Christmas day).  Growing up I remember my grandfather drinking it after Christmas dinner, he always added rum and nutmeg.  I prefer bourbon⁷ and a nutmeg/cinnamon mixture in my nog.

Story-time interlude courtesy of my friend Kevin⁸.  Kevin and I grew up down the street from one another so we would hang out at one another's houses all the time.  One summer afternoon we were playing around with Snap-Pops and we got the bright idea to through them at passing cars, which we found hilarious.  It was all fun and games until we threw a few at a car and once it passed the house we saw the driver slam on the breaks and whip the car around.  I yelled to Kevin, "Run!" and took off around the side of the house and dove behind a small bush.  When I looked back at the driveway I realized that Kevin was still standing there in the middle of the driveway.  By this time the driver had pulled up to the base of the driveway and was screaming at Kevin.  I saw Kevin glance down at his shoes then turn his head slightly point to where I was and said, "Josh is in the bushes."  We still give him a hard time about it when he makes it back to Indiana.

My top four Christmas movies are, in this order, A Christmas Story, Die Hard, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, and Elf.  "Can't see the lines can you Russ?"

Whitney wants to know what video games would be the best/worst movies.  I would have said Silent Hill 2, but they tried that and it was a mess of studio meddling and wasted potential.  I think Metal Gear Solid, would have some cool potential if done right.  As for worst, Tetris.

"The Twelve Day's of Christmas" is a pretty ridiculous song.  My second favorite rendition of this song is by Straight No Chaser.  Here is a YouTube video of the song.  Please excuse the super-lame introduction.


Jon⁹ wants to know what my best/worst Christmas I ever got was.  I think my best gift was going with my dad to see Purdue play in 1998 Alamo Bowl against Kansas State.  State, ranked fourth in the nation, felt like they got snubbed by the BCS and ended up playing unranked Purdue.  Purdue jumped out to an early lead but Kansas State came back to take the lead 34-30 with just over a minute to go in the game.  But Purdue, led by freshman quarterback Drew Brees¹⁰ drove the field in just 54 seconds to score the game winning touchdown. It was spectacular.  I can't think of what the worst was.

Thank you to everyone who sent me topics to write about, it was a lot of fun.  I hope you all have an incredibly blessed Christmas and if you are traveling that you stay safe.  I've got to go watch Christmas Vacation with the family.

Merry Christmas!!
___________________________________________________________
¹ Delicious recipes found here: http://redwhiteandturkey.blogspot.com/
² I just started following Sarah, now you can too.  http://notwhollyinvain.blogspot.com/
³ Token Asian blog found here: http://thesaltyside.blogspot.com/
⁴ Warning don't go here unless you want to see super cute babies: http://majorscoop.blogspot.com/
⁵ I have no factual basis for this claim.
⁶ Come on, how is that not about visiting a prostitute?
⁷ Don't drink until you are 21 and even then please do so responsibly.
⁸ Kevin uses his blog responsibly to track his exercise routine, he is a much better person than I am. http://kevininc.com/
⁹ Jon has recently made a commitment to use footnotes more, a behavior I fully endorse. http://jonuebelhor.blogspot.com
¹⁰ You might have heard of him.

On Immersing Myself Into the World of Literature

In which blogging re-commences and book reading is discussed at length.

So apparently I fell into the black hole of not writing that many bloggers find themselves in. After the move I was without internet, and without any type of idea or motivation to write. But fear not, I have returned, hopefully on a more consistent basis. And what, you may be asking, leads me to believe that I can write more consistently now than I had been? Well my job plays into that factor quite a bit. When last we met, which is to say when I last wrote anything, I was looking for a job. Well, I eventually found one. I am the in-school suspension room monitor for Jackson Creek Middle School here in Bloomington. What does that mean? That means that I hang out with kids who have gotten in trouble and are in in-school suspension or lunch detention. It also means that I have a lot of free time because the students just hang out and work on their homework that they have. Is this a job I am excited about? No. Is this a job that I am looking forward to having long term? No. Is this a job befitting of someone with a Masters degree? Well, maybe a philosophy major or something. However, it is a job that gets me in the school system working with students and administrator, and it pays the bills. It also means that I have time to write this blog more consistently (see I'm bringing it back around). But more than anything else I spend most of my time reading. Like a stupid amount of time reading.

As I was sitting here today I started thinking about blogging again, and figured that I could talk about some of the books that I have been reading. So far I have had this job for six weeks. During that time I have read: Timeline (Michael Crichton), Angels and Demons (Dan Brown), The Chamber of Secrets (J.K. Rowling), The Prisoner of Azkaban (J.K. Rowling), The Goblet of Fire (J.K. Rowling), The Order of the Phoenix (J.K. Rowling), The Half-Blood Prince (J.K. Rowling), The Deathly Hollows (J.K. Rowling), The Relic (Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child), Genesis (Bernard Beckett), Out of Sight (Elmore Leonard), The Blessing Way (Tony Hillerman), Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (Jane Austin & Seth Grahame-Smith). So that's thirteen books, although I am still working on the last two on the list. It has been neat to have the freedom to read so much. I figured that I would spend a little bit of time talking about some of these books.

Angels and Demons is a book that I wouldn't have read if it wasn't on my roomate's bookshelf. I got The Da Vinci Code for Christmas a few years ago and thought that it was terrible. It was extremely cheesy writing that was very predictable and disappointing that it was on the best sellers list for so long when so many good books go unread. I thought that, even though it was all fiction, Dan Brown made a lot of leap with his theories about Jesus that it became absurd. So it is safe to say that my expectations were remarkably low for Angels and Demons, and when all is said and done it was an enjoyable read. It was a generally compelling mystery and I had a fun time reading it. It certainly wasn't great literature, but then I don't think that is the type of book he was going for and I'm all right with that. He did a much better job of giving an even handed view of the church than in The Da Vinci Code, which I appreciated. Although the book still telegraphed it's plot twists pretty clearly. I would give this book a B if I was grading it. So if you are looking for something quick and easy to read check it out.

I also read six of the seven Harry Potter books. There is not much to say that hasn't been written about these books already. But here are some thoughts anyway. I enjoyed them a lot more than I thought that I would. I have seen all the movies but never had read the books. I enjoyed the books more as they went along, and appreciated that The Half-Blood Prince was more than just relationship nonsense like the movie was. Here are the top five things I learned from reading these books:

5) I enjoyed the last book the most, probably because it was the only one that I didn't know what was going to happen.
4) When I would g-chat with people in the midst of reading I would have to make a conscious effort not to use words like "prat."
3) Harry Potter is a huge prat.
2) Most of the supporting characters were more interesting and likable than Harry, Ron and Hermione.
1) Ginny Weasley is a certified bad-ass and was woefully underused in the seventh book.

Last thing. I am currently reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. It is interesting how the author incorporates new text in with the old. However, there is still a whole lot of Jane Austin so I am thinking about giving it up. Otherwise I am likely to fall asleep at work, and that probably wouldn't be good.

Any book suggestions for me?

On Interesting Things Found In Portland, Maine.

In which a trip is taken, the automotive future is viewed, and an apocalypse is prepared for.

This last week I had the opportunity to go to Maine with my family. I have never been there before and I have to say that it was pretty spectacular. The first half of the week we were in Portland which is a cool little harbor town. But just like all towns it has things that make for great stories, or in this case, a blog post.

On our first full day in Portland we were walking around down town, seeing what there was to see and we decided to do something a little unconventional. So we walked away from downtown towards our destination. On the way there we pasted closed shops and construction sites that smell horribly. When we reached the point in our journey when we called to find out where exactly we needed to go we saw signs of our destination. To get there we had to cut through a shipyard. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that it felt like a was going to some drug deal in a Scorsese movie. So what were the Milligans doing walking down this back alley shipyard? Why we were going on a train tour of course.

We had found ads for a tour of the Portland harbor by narrow gauge train. Now you are probably thinking "hey, that sounds pretty cool, you will get to see a lot of cool things and ride in an old timey train." Well that's what we thought also, but as it would turn out this was not the case. Here is what happened instead, we got on the train which backed up 100 yards for some reason, then went for perhaps a mile on the track. It was pretty lame. They didn't even let us enter the old passenger cars, we just had to sit in a car with one bench running down the middle facing outwards.

What other oddities can one find in Portland? How about a true environmentalist? These days, especially here in Bloomington, you see a lot of people driving around in Priuses. Those people are posers. If you truly care about saving the environment you will get yourself a Tesla Motors Roadster. I saw one of these parked at a grocery just outside of Portland, it was the first time I have seen one in real life. When the owner started it up and drove away it made absolutely no noise.

So how much does saving the environment set you back? Only $101,500. But don't worry, a sedan model will be available starting in 2012 and will only set you back $49,900. Also, as of right now the only dealerships are in California, which means that this guy shipped his one hundred thousand dollar car across the country. Now that's environmentalism!!

Last but not least I need to introduce you to a friend of mine, if you don't already know him. His name is B-Carl. B-Carl is a great guy, fun to hang out with but not with out his own idiosyncrasies. One of them is that he has a plan for surviving a zombie apocalypse. No joke, ask him about it.

What does this have to do with Portland? Well from talking to B-Carl one thing I know is that a place to survive the zombie attacks is one of, if not the most important parts of survival. In the middle of the Casco Bay there is an island that contains Fort Gorges, a fort that was constructed during the Civil War. As it happened military advancements made the fort obsolete the moment that it was completed. However, it still stands, and can be visited by anyone with their own boat. The fort is big enough to house 30-40 cars inside of it and has sod on the roof (which was a last ditch effort to make it able to withstand explosive rounds). The most important fact however is that it exists on an island with no bridges.

So if you wake up one day and find the world overran with the undead grab your emergency shotgun, your canned goods and start heading for Maine.

Fort Gorges, waiting for a zombie apocalypse since 1865.