On Reflections of the Non-Harp Variety

In which we look to the future by considering the past.


This week at community dinner none of us¹ were feeling particularly motivated to lead any post dinner activities. Luckily for us one of our good friends, Rob, came to the rescue. He led us through an activity designed to help us reflect on the upcoming year, I thought it was pretty awesome and I figured would immortalize my reflections on Ye Olde Internet.

Rob started the activity by having us sit in silence for a few moments. He then read out a primer, "I hope..." for example. I don't know what others in the room did, but I challenged myself to not over think things and simply just write the first thing that came to mind. For the purposes of this blog I am going to write each prompt and then hide my response in a spoiler, additional thoughts will be in italics. My reason for doing this is simple, I want this to be a participatory blog post. When you read each write down (or at least think about) how you would respond². Okay, here we go.

I hope...

for a new job, and a new relationship.

My search for a permanent job has been going on far too long, it would be swell if someone hired me. Hopefully, I'll get some good news this week. The other thing is simply that I am 30, I'd be great to be in a relationship with someone. Maybe get married eventually.

I'm afraid...

of being stagnant.

When things get overwhelming I tend to just shut down³, this year I want to push myself to not let that happen.

I will...

push myself (to write more, to sell myself harder to employers).

I've been missing writing lately, and would like to get back in the habit of blogging more often, or just writing in general. I'm going to start shooting for once a week again. Also, during any interviews I might have I am going to attempt to put my humility aside and let any potential employers know that I am the ultimate badass.

I will not...

allow uncertainty to cripple my relationships.

Not knowing what I was doing with work was giving me an excuse not to fully invest in the people around me (community, small group, etc.) and I knew it had to stop. This is something I've been better about of late, but I want to keep working on it.

I will start...

to value myself more but to work to improve myself at the same time.

You'll start to see a number of these tie together, I was alright with that. An improved self-confidence is important for most people, part of that comes from excepting yourself for who you are and part of it comes form working to make yourself better.

I will stop...

driving so much; relying on myself as much.

I need to ride my bike more and I need to be praying more. Josiah⁴ and I had a conversation a few weeks ago, and I mentioned that with life it is totally acceptable to work and try and strive for the things we want with everything we have in us, but that we also need to be praying and giving our stuff to God. I need to follow my own advice.

I want...

to feel a renewed sense of purpose.

Which is not to say I need a new purpose, but sometimes that is a part of it.

I need...

the support of others.

Tied to some of the other things on this list. I need to turn to my friends, my family and my community more.

I can...

overcome my faults and self doubts.

Pretty straight forward and a culmination of many of the other things on this list.

So there you have it. I truly hope you thought about these things for yourself. If you didn't it's not to late, go for it.

PS if you are wondering about the title of this particular post just google "Harp Reflections" and be both illuminated and horrified.
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¹ Carrie, Guff, Will, Colleen, Josiah and I (Tim was playing make believe in Indy).
² Of course, if you don't I'll never know. But Jesus will.
³ Ask Sarah Street, ultimate Enneagram nerd, why.
⁴ aka: Joshua, Josie, Blingfoot