On Reviews of Summer Flicks, Part I

In which the author eases back into the swing of things and brings the reader along for the ride.


Blogging has not been coming easily to me lately, which I don't really like. I would really like to push myself to write more, but it hasn't been happening. Hopefully I can use this post to get back in the swing of things, we will see how it goes.

I've talked about summer movies before. If you didn't read it last year, or you don't like clicking links, I can catch you up. There are lots of movies in the summer, some are good, most are not so much good.

Pretty simple premise right?

This summer, for me, has been a little different than most. Don't worry, I'm still job searching so it isn't that different. But I have seen more movies in the theater than I normally do. So I thought I'd review them for you.

Thor- This movie marked the official start of the summer movie season. It also marked the start of a cavalcade of summer comic movies¹. When I first heard about this movie I wasn't that interested. I never knew much about Thor other than the fact that he had hammer with a weird name (Mjölnir) and that he was a Norse god sent to Earth who became a superhero. This would mean the movie would have to balance scenes on Earth with scenes in Asgard, what director can manage that?

Which brings us my interest in the film. It started when I heard that Kenneth Branaugh would be directing, he is best known for directing in several movies based on Shakespeare's plays. It seemed to me that someone with a grasp of Shakespeare may be able to handle the balance. Seeing the trailers locked me in so I went to see it one afternoon.

What worked: Branaugh found a good pace for the movie, it never seemed to drag and did manage a balance between the supernatural and the superhero. Chris Hemsworth was great as Thor, he looked the part, and had the smarmy, egotistical thing down. The connection to the larger movie world that will be found in The Avengers next summer was much smoother than in Iron Man 2. Idris Elba (aka Stringer Bell), always Idris Elba.

What was best: Tom Hiddleston's turn as Loki was incredible. A movie like this is only as good as it's villain and this was a great villain.

What could have been better: Natalie Portman was just kind of hanging around and the love story felt forced. Thor's running crew were talked up as bad asses, and had the look, but didn't do much.

Overall: I really enjoyed this movie. It was a lot of fun, it had action and an appropriate amount of cheesy comedy you'd expect for a comic movie. Totally worth checking out. Also, I finally learned how to pronounce  Mjölnir.

X-Men: First Class - I have a conflicted history with X-Men movies. I grew up reading X-Men and watching the cartoon, I thought the first movie was great and the second is, in my opinion, one of the best comic book movies ever made. The third one was a frustrating mess the felt like a cheap cash grab by Fox², and Wolverine was one of the worst movies I've seen. So to say that I was worried when I heard that Fox was making a prequel/reboot of the X-Men franchise is an understatement. As a result I didn't pay much attention. Until, once again, the attached director was announced.

Matthew Vaughn, director of Stardust and Kick-Ass, has earned a lot of credit with me which meant my apprehension was lessened. However, I was still concerned with Fox's history of interfering with filming and a short production schedule (10 months as opposed to Thor's 15). Which lasted until I saw the first official trailer, which blew me away. It seemed to have all the heart of the first two movies and the actors all looked and sounded great. To say I was excited going into the screening was an understatement, this had quickly one of the movies I was most looking forward to.

What worked: A lot of things, really. There was a lot happening in the movie but it never felt overly long, it was able to move a quick clip and hold your attention. Kevin Bacon was fantastic in his role as the villain Sebastian Shaw. The kids in the movie did a good job for the screen time they had. The visuals were fantastic, the movie takes place in the 60's and Vaughn was able to make that seem real with the costume choices and set decorations. An unexpected scene in the middle of the movie that I don't want to ruin but worked on every level.

What worked best: James McAvoy as Professor X and Michael Fassbender as Magneto were incredible. Most people agree that Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan were perfectly cast in the first three movies. McAvoy and Fassbender were able to match these performances while making the roles their own. Watching these characters interact with one another was worth the price of admission alone.

What could have been better: This story is ultimately about Xavier and Magneto, so take this with a grain of salt, but most of the support characters were underutilized, especially the villains (but a least they got away from the generic jumping super power found all over X-Men 3). January Jones did not impress me as Emma Frost. Only one black character. I'm pretty much over Mystique as a character, I don't know why these film makers keep going back to this character, there are way more interesting females out there to bring into these movies.

Overall: It's still pretty early in the summer, but so far this is the movie to beat for me. It was incredible, I loved every minute of it, even with the issues that I mentioned before. There are one or two other movies this summer that may surpass X-Men: First Class, but they will have to be pretty amazing.

Super 8 - I was all about the marketing for this flick. Movie trailers these days show way too much of the films they are advertising, Super 8 did not have this problem. It left a lot of the film to be discovered. Also, J.J. Abrams, the director, did a great job with Mission Impossible 3 and Star Trek, so that was a positive. I wasn't sure if I was going to see this in the theaters or not, but my mom was in town and we had talked about going to see a movie and I thought this would be a good one.

What worked: The kids. The kids were amazing in this film, they were funny and felt like real kids, not old people pretending to be kids. The story at the heart of the movie, it was moving and well done, it would have worked even without all the other mystery/monster type stuff. The setting and costumes, the movie is set in 1980 and the set design and costume really made that feel real.

What worked best: Joel Courtney and Elle Fanning, the two main characters. They were totally amazing.

What could of been better: Umm....less lens flairs please. The dad character either needed to be in the movie more or in it less, he just kind of floated. This is going to sound weird but there needed to be less of the monster, the movie worked at it's best when it was just the kids and their story or people reacting to weirdness going on around them. The times you see the monster, especially early on, felt unnecessary and, I think, would have heightened the tension if you just saw the outcome of those scenes.

Overall: A very fun movie, that, as promised, managed to feel like an early eighties Amblin Entertainment movie. Worth checking out for sure, but don't feel like you will miss anything by waiting for DVD.

What other movies will I see in theaters? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, Captain America, and Attack the Block³. Movies I am interested in seeing but will weight to hear some initial reviewing: Transformers: Dark of the Moon and Cowboys & Aliens. What can you expect to read about next week⁴? It will be a blast from the past.
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¹ Thor, X-Men, Green Lantern, Transformers, Captain America, Cowboys & Aliens, Conan the Barbarian.
² X-Men: The Last Stand was rushed into production when Bryan Singer chose to direct Superman Returns and was given a very short production schedule to beat Singer's Superman to theaters. Additionally, Fox executives may have been very insistent on making changes to the film (such as killing off Cyclops since James Marsden was also going to be in Superman).
³ Assuming it releases near here, I would probably drive to Indy to watch it.
⁴ Seriously, I will write a new post next week.

On Messing With Your Childhood

In which a uniting component of humanity is discussed and your perspectives are altered.

Imagine, if you will, you are sitting in a movie theater. You've got friends on either side of you and you are killing time answering the same easy trivia question for the tenth time. Finally the lights dim, your excitement rises a little, but no, it's just a coke commercial. Or some voice telling you to silence your cell phone. But then it happens. This screen pops up:

Oh yeah, it's preview time, the best part of the movies. What will it be? A super-rad blockbuster? A cheeseball romcom¹? Emotional Oscar bait? A terrible and lame teen vampire movie? You never know. You are on the edge of your seat as everything about a movie is distilled down into a scant 2-3 minutes. When it ends you lean over and whisper to your friend, "that looks awesome" or "that looks terrible" before the green screen is there again and it all starts over.

Movie trailers are a funny thing. They are, at their core, commercials. I hate commercials, but I love trailers. Well, that's not exactly right. I love trailers in the movie theater, when they are up on the big screen. And I love catching sweet trailers when they first drop. But I always skip them on DVDs. I don't really know why, maybe it's the mystery of it all. But no matter their context they are definitely an attempt to sell you on spending your hard earned dollars² on a movie.

Because of this they are often put together by people in charge of selling the movie rather than people who make the movie. This can lead to movies that don't end quite as awesome as the trailer would have you believe. At times the trailers simply give away too much³ of the story. And often the movie is completely misrepresented. What is wild is to think about how easy it is to completely manipulate the audience with some simple text and a sweet soundtrack. It makes you wonder if you could completely change the tone of a film?

Oh wait, someone already did that. Back in 2006 someone reedited a trailer for Mary Poppins, added new music and sound effects and came up with Scary Mary. Check it out⁴.


Other videos soon followed. Such as a re-cut Charlie and the Chocolate Factory trailer. Although, let's be honest, that movie was damn creepy on it's own, that tunnel scene? Come on.


But I think my favorite remixed trailer is probably this one, which I will leave you without any set up.


It pretty crazy how easy it is to make a trailer look absolutely nothing like the movie. Keep that in mind the next time you see a movie you are totally jazzed for, because you might be in for a surprise. Except if it's a Twilight preview, the actual movie will be just as sucky as the trailer.
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¹ That would be a romantic comedy.
² Or your parents if you are still in high school/home for Christmas.
³ My apologies for linking to VH1.
⁴ Hey Carrie and Tara, suck it up and watch the dang videos this time.

On Self Congratulatory Little Gold Men

In which we consider the mistakes of the past before making guesses about the future.

For the last 34 years my mom has been working as an elementary school teacher in Lafayette, Indiana. Due to the close proximity of Purdue's campus she often has student teachers that will join her for a semester. Most of them are good, some great, and a few, not so much. One she had a few years ago was really quite the buster. She was teaching, I believe, fourth grade at the time, and he had only been in the class for a few weeks when he asked if, as an educational experience, the class could watch the Academy Award Nominations. Not the actual awards themselves, mind you, but rather just a reading of those films and actors that were nominated. That guys really built himself a solid foundation with that one, let me tell you. I wish that I could go back in time and ask him just what he thought the educational benefit would have been for those fourth graders.

I share this story with you because we are at that time of the year again, this very morning the nominees for the 83rd annual Oscars were announce. Given that I haven't got much else on my mind at the moment I thought that I would write about them for a bit. But first, a disclaimer.

The Oscars, and most other award shows¹, are pretty much just rubbish. Especially when it comes to the best picture. It is a rare year when you hear the winner and think, yeah that was definitely my favorite movie from that year. What's more, there are some years when you are left dumbfounded at the choice that was made.  Here are, in my opinion, some of the worst offenders.

2001 Oscars - Winner Gladiator
Don't get me wrong, Gladiator is a good movie, I own it, I've watched it multiple times, and I will keep watching it. However, this year it was up against: Chocolat, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Erin Brocovich, and Traffic. There is no way, in my mind, that Gladiator was a better movie than Traffic. Steven Soderbergh put together one amazing movie with Traffic, he manages to weave together three complex story lines and get incredible performances out of his actors at the same time. The bigger upset for me this year though was the fact that Russell Crowe won the best actor award over Tom Hanks for his role in Cast Away, which I think was one of his most powerful performances ever.

2003 Oscars - Winner Chicago
I saw Chicago when it came out, but I don't remember much of it, which doesn't say much for that movie does it? This year it was up against: Gangs of New York, The Hours, The Two Towers, and The Pianist. While I will freely admit that Gangs of New York and The Two Towers are not without their problems they are both easily better movies than Chicago was. I don't know what the thought process was here.

1998 Oscars - Winner Titanic
This is a great example of spectacle winning out over quality. By the time that the awards rolled around in late March Titanic had already broken the one billion dollar mark. It was, to say the least, wildly popular, and certainly a technical marvel. But over all the story line was nothing too spectacular, the same goes for DiCaprio's acting. What movies did it beat out? Oh just As Good as it Gets, The Fully Monty, Good Will Hunting, and LA Confidential. It wouldn't be the first time James Cameron would have a film nominated based on new technology, a huge profit, and a weak story line, luckily the next time the Academy would wise up².

1995 Oscars - Winner Forest Gump
Without a doubt this is the most egregious oversight that the academy has made. In my opinion Forest Gump is a fun, heart-string yanking, film designed for the masses to enjoy. And you know what, there is nothing wrong with that. The problem is that two win this award it had to beat out The Shawshank Redemption, which is my favorite movie and is also the top rated film on IMDB. This year more than any other teaches us to take the Academy Awards with a grain of salt. With that in mind lets take a look at this years nominees and who I think is likely to win the big award³.

Best Picture:
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The Kids are Alright
The King's Speech
127 Hours
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter's Bone

My Thoughts: My first thought is that I haven't seen enough of these movie. The real five to watch are probably Black Swan, The Fighter, The Kids are Alright, The King's Speech, and The Social Network. From what I'm hearing expect The Social Network to take the trophy⁴.

The rest of the nominees for all the other categories are easy enough to find on the internet (for example: here). I do have a few short thougths about some nominations, or lack there of though.

• The fact that Hailee Steinfeld was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress role filled me with mixed emotions. It was great that she was recognized because she does an amazing job. But it is absurd that she was nominated for a supporting role when she acts as both the narrator and protagonist of the movie. There are far to few strong lead roles for females, let alone that it is a western, that to cheapen it to a supporting role is just disappointing.
• I think it is a travesty, but not unexpected, that Scott Pilgrim vs the World did not get nominated for either best editing or best visual effects.
• Natalie Portman (best actress) and Christian Bale (supporting actor) are probably locks.
• Finally, I could see Exit Through the Gift Shop not winning best documentary simply because of the questions surrounding it's authenticity.

PS: For people thinking that picking questionable best picture winners in a new phenomenon know that in 1942 How Green is my Valley won over Citizen Kane.
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¹ Especially the Golden Globes.
² If Avatar would have one they should have just shut it down.
³ Please know most of this is based on complete conjecture as I have not seen all of these movies.
⁴ Saying things like, "From what I'm hearing" makes you sound much more legitimate.

On Lists

In which we set the way back machine for both a year and a decade.

Last year I managed to get a post out on New Years Eve looking back at the last year of my life, hitting some high points month by month.  I had hoped to get something similar posted this year but it did not happen.  Now that we are three days in to old twentyeleven I am not feeling as motivated.  That may change, but I doubt it.

That does not mean, though, that I do not want to look back at the year.  I just want to do so in a different way.  This time of year a lot of people start talking about their "Best of" lists.  Best books, best songs, best albums, best movies¹. So I am going to throw my hat into the ring with my own look back at the world of cinema.  However, I am going to mix it up a little, instead of just looking at 2010 I am also going to tell you my favorite movies from the last decade.

To get you jazzed for the list making here are two videos looking back over the movies of 2010.  Neither is comprehensive, and it is interesting how many of the same clips are used², but they are both beautiful and very well made.

The first is Filmography 2010 edited by Gen Ip.  Of the two videos this one is more stylized and utilized more of the beats found both in the music and in the clips.  Whenever I watch it I am reminded of how fun movies can be.


This second video is Cinema 2010 edited by Kees van Dijkhuizen³.  This video definitely has style as well it also includes a deeply haunting beauty to it.  Especially the last quarter which uses the version of Creep by Scala & Kolacny Brothers to perfection. If Filmography 2010 reminded me of how fun movie can be Cinema 2010 reminds me how beautiful they can be.  The most interesting thing for me that there are some legitimately bad movies found in the clips, which shows that even a bad movie can't completely diminish the beauty that is found in telling a story.



So before we begin with the list making here are a couple of things you should know.  I was surprised to find that I had only seen twelve movies that were released last year.  Which is sad, though to be honest a lot of the movies I want to still see (we'll get there later) where all stacked at the end of the year and I can't afford to see them all.  I will tell you about ten of these movies and why I liked them, only three will be ranked as the best of them.  You are totally free to disagree with them and I'd love to here your picks.

Movies I saw, and enjoyed, this year, in no particular order⁴.

• Youth in Revolt - There is a big time backlash against Michael Cera (of Arrested Development fame).  Most of it stems from the claim that he is a one note actor who always plays the same character.  If his portrayal of his own imaginary alter ego François Dillinger doesn't change your mind nothing will.
• The Book of Eli - Post apocalyptic movies have been done before, but this has a great tone.  Some of it is a little over the top but it surprised me with both the story and how good the movie itself ended up being.
• Kick-Ass - Over the top and violent, but funny.  Very, very funny.  Chloë Grace Moretz steals the show.
• Exit Through the Gift Shop - I'm not a big documentary guy but this was an incredibly fascinating film.  I don't want to say too much about it, the less you know going in the better, but this look into the world of street art (graffiti not mimes) was entrancing.  JimmyMann, who is a big documentary guy, loved it as well.
• Iron Man 2 - I liked the first one a little better, but mainly because the sequel felt a little cluttered.  However, Robert Downey Junior continues to be one of my favorite actors and there are very few things with Sam Rockwell in them that I don't enjoy. Those two are worth watching on their own.
• Babies - It's crazy that 16% of the movies that I saw from 2010 were documentaries but what are you going to do.  This was an incredibly beautiful film that follows the first year of life for four infants around the world.  A lack of narration made worked incredibly well.
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I - This was the first HP that I saw where I had read the book first, though I wish I would have done a reread before I saw it.  It was a great movie, very moody, a little slower, but I thought the three main actors (HP, Ronnie the Bear, and the Wretched Harmony) all showed how far they have come in their craft.

And here are my top three movies for 2010.

1. Scott Pilgrim vs The World

You probably haven't seen this movie, most people haven't.  I've written about it a couple of times now and I really can't stop singing it's praises.  Michael Cera is the titular character and, I think, does a magnificent job in the role.  The supporting cast is one of the best I have ever seen (that will be a theme with these top three) especially Kieran Culken.⁵ Also the transitions between scenes are some of the most amazing that I've seen.

2. True Grit

The Coen brothers return to the western genre, last visited in No Country for Old Men (2007), but this time the journey is less dark, less violent, but no less beautiful.  Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon are amazing as Rooster Cogburn and Texas Ranger La Boeuf respectively.  However, new comer Hailee Steinfeld steals the show, if she is not at least nominated for a Best Actress Oscar it will be a crime.  The most surprising part of the movie was how hilarious it was, a definite must see.

3. Inception

Here is the thing, I am rarely impressed with Leonardo DiCaprio, and while he does a good job in this movie he is nothing to write home about.  However he is helped tremendously by a show stopping all-star cast, it still amazes me to think about how great they all were, even with their limited character story lines.  The two things that take this movie up to top three status are a) in was an incredibly original and beautiful version of what boils down to a standard heist movie and b) the sheer number of theories you can have about the movie.

PS Worst movie of the year?  Shutter Island.  Not that it was overly terrible, because it wasn't, but it was a huge let down as I had high expectations.  It was too predictable for my tastes, and it tried way to hard to be mysterious for that level of predictability.

11 2010 movies for 2011

Movies I want to see but haven't yet: How to Train Your Dragon - I've heard nothing but good things, Toy Story 3 - I've been told to expect to cry, The Town - who knew Ben Afflec would be a good director, The Social Network - love me some Sorken dialog, Black Swan - looks creepy and amazing, I Love You Philip Morris - I'm intrigued by the hurdles it jumped to get distributed , The Fighter - Christian Bale is supposed to be amazing in it, Blue Valentine - an examination of a marriage on the rocks Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams each got a Golden Globe nomination, Catfish - all I needed to hear was that you need to know as little as possible about it, Buried - Shot in 17 days it is apparently incredibly tense, 127 Hours - James Franco plays a hiker who gets his arm trapped under a boulder, I've heard great things.

Okay so this post is taking longer than I thought⁶, sorry about that.  When I decided to write a movie themed year-end post I started to consider looking back at the best movies of the last decade.  That slowly melded into my favorite movies, which I think is an important distinction.  So I did some research and discovered that some years it was very easy to pick my favorite, others it was much tougher (I'm looking at you 2007).  Also, I'll give you a bonus award for the year as well.

2001 - Spy Game  This is such an entertaining movie, following Brad Pitt and Robert Redford through multiple decades I was on the edge of my seat the first time I saw it.  It is not a movie I put on if I am trying to get something else done. -- Most cool action pieces bogged down by inane story line: Pearl Harbor.

2002 - Lord of the Rings  I am lumping all three movies together into one chunk this year because they are great, but I didn't want to take up three years of movies, plus '02 didn't have much else that stood out. They are really good.  -- Best foreign movie that was the basis for an Oscar winner:  Infernal Affairs.

2003 - Confidence A sold movie that is made great by its ending.  Highly stylized with rapid fire dialogue.  I'd love to watch it again, but it has gone missing, I blame the Feltons. --  Biggest train wreck that caused a knighted Academy Award winner to retire from acting: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

2004 - The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou I have talked about Life Aquatic before here.  So I'll just say this, it holds up after many repeat viewings, which is always the mark of a great film.  --  Movie I can't stand that you would assume that I would like: Garden State.

2005 - Serenity The follow up film to the television show Firefly.  It is a funny sci-fi western with some horror elements.  If that doesn't interest you then nothing will.  --  Worst movie I saw in the theater this decade: Saw II.


2006 - Children of Men Compelling story? Check. Good acting? Check. Amazingly well done long takes? Check. Favorite movie of the year? Check.  --  Incredible start, terrible finish: Silent Hill.


2007 - Hot Fuzz  Directed by the same guy as Scott Pilgrim this homage to buddy cop movies (think Bad Boys 2) is absolutely hilarious, I saw it in the theater then gathered a bunch of people to go see it again.  --  I knew it wouldn't be good, but I didn't know it could be this bad: I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.


2008 - Tropic Thunder This is the funniest Ben Stiller movie I have seen in a long time, I am sure a big reason that I like it is because I enjoy movies so much, so of course I would like a movie about making movies.  Plus, not surprisingly, Robert Downey Junior was fantastic.  --  Most overrated movie that has three movies worth of stuff crammed into it: The Dark Knight.


2009 - Where the Wild Things Are  A movie that had me smiling from start to finish, partially because it was good and partially because it took me back to my childhood.  An absolutely beautiful movie that was made that much better because they used practical effects instead of just CGI.  --  The only blue movie you might one day possibly see: Avatar.
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¹ Check out Sarah blog for a good list: Not Wholly In Vain
² Probably due to using a lot of clips from trailers so didn't have to watch trash like The Last Airbender.
³ He makes one every year so you can time warp if you want.
⁴ That's not true, it's actually chronological.
⁵ Also Chris Evan, Brandon Routh, and Jason Schwartzman.
⁶ Deal with it KaSchmal.

On a Fun Day at the Cineplex

In which we investigate a marvelous moviefilm.

So I have been working on a pretty intense and thoughtout¹ blog post since last Wednesday.  However, it has been slow going and I felt the need to get some writing done.  Plus I wanted to share some love for the movie that Tim, Carrie, and I saw today.

For the last three week I have been asking Tim and Carrie to go with me to see Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.  It was never a matter of them not wanting to go, but rather finding the time to make it happen.  I have been jazzed to see this movie for months now, loyal readers may remember that I talked about it back at the beginning of the summer.

Often times when you are excited to see a movie and you see some previews and hear some reviews you end up walking away disappointed.  Let me tell you, that did not happen with this movie.  It was incredibly well done; funny, action packed, original² with some great actors and a great director.  It is certainly not a movie that is going to be for everyone but if you ever played video games growing up³, or are familiar with the indie rock scene⁴, or like to see bombastic fight scenes that don’t make much sense but are still well choreographed⁵ then this movie is going to have something for you.

I highly recommend that you check it out while it is the theater, you can catch it for $5 throughout the week here in Bloomington.  And as a bonus, if you want, let me know and I will go see it with you.  If all of this doesn’t sell you then I will let my friend Carrie try to.  When we were driving away one of the first things she said was: ‘That was so good.  I want to watch it again right now.’  No lie, but we went to Lowe’s instead.

P.S. In the coming weeks look for the following blog topics (blogics?): biking round the world: or maybe just town; Glenn Beck, Jesus and you; and XRA Fest 2010 with or without interviews.
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¹ Maybe not as thought out as I would like, but definitely thought about a lot.
² As original as a movie based on a comic book can be.
³ Nods to Mario, Zelda, role-playing games, DDR and others.
⁴ “We should totally play a secret show.” “All of our shows are secret shows.”
⁵ I didn’t have a footnote for this one, but I didn’t want it to feel left out.

On the Future of American Cinema

In which we gaze into the beautiful blue eyes of Hollywood and perfection stares back.

Once in a great while a movie comes along that changes the way we look at movies.  A film that takes our perceptions, acumen, opinions, attitudes, even our perspicacity of film and flips it on its head¹.

Movies like Citizen Kane, The Godfather Part 2, Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Toy Story and even Avatar² (with its use of 3D) made people rethink the way stories are told.  Whether through narrative styles, special effects or even the medium in which it is shown.

Now we are privy to what will certainly be one of the greatest movies of our generation.  I imagine that it will change not only what we think about film, but what we think about life itself.

Behold the future:


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¹ All of those words are synonymous with one another.
² For the record Avatar was a beautiful and fun movie devoid of any original story.

On Poetic Apocalypse

In which we investigate post-apocalyptic worlds via haiku.

Children of Men

Eighteen years, no kids
Clive Owen must save a girl
Humanity’s hope?

The Book of Eli

A lone man travels west,
He must protect his book which
Gary Oldman¹ wants.

Six String Samurai

Rock’n’roll wasteland
One man, a guitar and sword
Will he be the king?

Akira

Neo-Tokyo:
Past mysteries are revealed
As Tetsuo’s rage grows.

12 Monkeys

Killer virus let
Loose, time traveler’s mission:
Take back the surface².

I Am Legend

The Fresh Prince alone
A virus from a cure for
Matt Damon’s folly³.

Mad Max

All the oil’s gone
S&M gangs roam the wastes
It’s the thunderdome.

Wall-E

Earth has been ruined
But amongst all the rubble
A love story grows.

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¹ It is a well known fact that Gary Oldman makes any movie better.
² Still my favorite Brad Pitt performance.
³ See the World War II section of On War On Film

On Discovering a Video That’s Been Discovered By Two Million People Already

In which well-trod ground is traveled and foreshadowing.

When I arrived home from work today I had received an email from a friend of mine¹.  The subject line read ‘Ahh Christian worship’ and contained only this link.  I watched it and found it to be pretty clever.  The music stuff was better than the speaking stuff.  In the comments someone mentioned something called “The Academy Award Winning Trailer.”  I had never heard of such a thing so a’googleing I went.  My search let me to this video.  Go ahead and check it would and we’ll talk about it when you are done.

This video absolutely made my day.  Most everything about it was so spot on.  For me the two highlights were the conversations with the concerned friend² and the music throughout the entirety of the trailer, but especially starting at 2:26.  It seemed like it was an actual movie that was coming out, which is kind of sad.

The weakest part?  The Avatar scene, it just didn’t jive with the rest of the trailer.  But I suppose you can’t win ‘em all.

Hope you enjoyed the brief post/video this week.  Come back next week for a discussion about Capri Sun.  No joke.

“LEAD FEMALE’S NAME!!!”
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¹ Who won’t be named so that he, or she, doesn’t get in trouble at work again and cause me a huge headache.
² “Friendly concern that a string of heightened and seemingly unrelated plots may now arise."

On War On Film

In which a list is created, a few movies pitched, and synopses written.

It should be no surprise to you that I enjoy watching movies. One of my favorite things to do is to watch a good movie with a group of friends that leads to a great discussion afterwards. But beyond that I just enjoy the act of watching a movie, I’m something of an anomaly in that I greatly appreciate well made movies and movies that challenge me to think¹, but in the same breath I enjoy stupid mindless movies that exist only to entertain². I will even go as far as to gloss over the rough parts of a movie if it is able to captivating enough.

A number of years ago my roommate at the time, Adam, and I decided we were going to watch a movie that started with every letter of the alphabet, in order. We didn’t make it very far; I think we got to “C” or “D” maybe. But it was an interesting way to go about watching movies, and is something that I would like to try again some time. Since then I have thought about what other “movie themes” I could come up with. Watching a series of Oscar winners, or multiple remakes of the same story, or even watching movies Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon style³ all came to mind. But the most fleshed out idea, and the one that is the most intriguing, is watching a movie that corresponds to every war in American history.

Some of the most classic movies, and most entertain movies, are those based around wars. So would it be possible to watch a movie for every war? I decided to investigate the situation. First I had to decide what would be considered a “war,” which ended up being a tougher concept than I thought. So I after some deep consideration this is the list I came up with:

French and Indian War

American Revolution

The War of 1812

The Civil War

The Spanish-American War

World War 1

World War 2

The Korean War

Vietnam War

The Cold War

Desert Storm

Iraqi Freedom

The next question was a two-parter. Part the first; is there a movie about every war? Part B; have I seen any of said movies? I decided that if there was no movie option that I would make one up. And if there was a movie I had seen for a war I was obligated to choose it over one that I hadn’t⁴. Some categories will offer a first choice and an alternate as well.

The French and Indian War (1754-1763) – The Last of the Mohicans (1993)

• A white guy, who thinks he is a Mohican and is not named Natty Bumppo, falls in love with a stuck up English bird, who may or may not travel through time with Bruce Willis, in the middle of a war between the French and the British. There is a lot of running through the woods⁵, jumping through waterfalls, making the British look stupid, and no matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you.

The Revolutionary War (1775-1783) – The Patriot (2000)

• This time the British have gone too far. The people have had enough, the votes are in, and it’s time to show those limey dastards what we’re made of. And there is only one man for the job. William Wallace, along with his son the Joker, face-off against Lucius Malfoy⁶, for control of the colonies, and the world will never be the same again. Blood! Excitement! Shooting stuff! Family drama! Inappropriately low-cut, rack-enhancing, colonial dresses! The Patriot!

The War of 1812 (1812) – n/a

• There isn’t a movie about the War of 1812. A good deal of the fighting took place in what was then the “northwest territories” which is now known as Indiana, Ohio and Michigan. That would be a cool setting for a movie, mainly because that is where I live. One thing the movie would have to have is Andrew Jackson getting punched in the face. Don’t get me wrong, he did an amazing job in the battle of New Orleans. But he was still a racist douche.

The Civil War (1861-1865) – Glory (1989)

• Ferris Bueller is the commander of the first all-black company of U.S. volunteers in the Civil War. With a little help from his friend Robin Hood, Ferris overcomes adversity and self-doubt to lead a squad of brave men made up of, among others, Malcom X, God, and another guy you would totally recognize but couldn’t name any of the other characters he’s played⁷. I watched this in US history during our Civil War lesson so you know it has to be educational.

The Spanish American War (1898) – n/a

• This war, known mainly for Teddy Roosevelt and his Rough Riders and for the sinking of the USS Maine, hasn’t had a film about it since 1936. Though the first war movie ever made, Tearing Down the Spanish Flag, was about the Spanish American War. It came out in 1898, which is the year the war happened, that’s nutty. If I was going to make a movie it would be based on Elmore Leonard’s Cuba Libre, what’s not to love about a war movie that involves cowboys, gun running, shootouts, bank robberies, and fast-talking, quick-witted protagonists? Nothing is the answer.

World War I (1914-1918) – Flyboys (2006)

• I actually haven’t seen this movie all the way through. I started watching it with my dad and sister over Christmas break but couldn’t stay for the whole thing. Though the little I saw I enjoyed and they both said it was good. Also, it stars James Franco, which is a good thing. So I guess it wins by default…for now.

World War II (1938-1945) – Saving Private Ryan (1998)

• Ready for this? Forrest Gump, after surviving the invasion of Normandy, commands a crack squad made up of: Riddick, Phoebe’s brother, Chandler’s psychotic roommate, Dale Earnhardt, Daniel Faraday, generic gruff guy, and Ed Burns, with one mission. Save good Will Hunting. Along the way they run into, meet, or otherwise have their lives affected by: One of the three men with a baby, Santa Claus, Mal Reynolds, Malcolm in the Middle’s dad, the guy the killed the prostitute for the “lust” killing in Se7en, Gerry Bertier, and an ex-cop turned actor who almost always plays cops. A little known fact is that by saving Private Ryan, the squad inadvertently caused cancer…whoops⁸.

• WWII Alternate – U-571 (2000) – What’s long, and hard, and full of seamen? Grow up you perv, it’s a submarine. And that is exactly what this movie is about, crank up the bass for the depth charge scene that will have you on the edge of your seat. Or just watch it to see Bon Jovi get his head cut off (don’t blink or you will miss it).

The Korean War (1950-1953) – MASH (1970)

• I’ve never actually seen this movie, I think it’s based off that one TV show…After-MASH⁹? Maybe I should check it out so I can see Jack Bauer’s dad hanging out with Ross and Monica’s dad and Robert E. Lee all joking about death and stuff.

The Vietnam War (1959-1975) – We Were Soldiers (2002)

• War movie all-stars alert. William Wallace returns to battle and brings Bruce Willis’ time traveling girlfriend with him, he also gets to hang out with Gerry Bertier and Dale Earnhardt. And while they were at it they threw in Felicity and one of Stifler’s friends. This movie portrays one of America's first battles in Vietnam and is probably the most intense, and violent movies on the list. But then Vietnam was one of the most intense and violent wars we were in, so I guess it works.

The Cold War (1945-1991) – Top Gun (1986)

• Ethan Hunt and his co-pilot Dr. Mark Greene want to be the best of the best of the best. Unfortunately Batman is standing in their way, but so are Ethan’s reckless attitude, daddy issues, and super hot girlfriend/instructor. But don’t worry Michael Ironside’s super gravelly voice and some sand volleyball in blue jeans will help smooth things out. As long as no one breaks their neck I’m sure everything will work out just fine.  Oh yeah, Sleepless in Seattle shows up too.

• Cold War Alternate – Spy Game (2001) – Watch Bob Whitaker¹⁰ recruit, train, work with, repulse and attempt to save Tyler Durden in this movie the travels through a variety of theaters from the Vietnam War all the way up to China at the end of the cold war. This is a movie that I can rewatch time and again.  It's pretty rad.

The Gulf War 1 (1990-1991) – Three Kings (1999)

• Marky Mark, Batman (no, a different one), a famous director, and Ice Cube are all soldiers at the end of the first Gulf War.  They are on a mission to find a stash of Saddam's gold based on a map they found in a guys butt.  Along the way they make some friends, create some exploding footballs, get into some hijinks, and try their best not to die.

 The Gulf War 2: Gulf Harder (2003-present) - The Hurt Locker (2008) 

• Three dudes no one has ever heard before run around trying to defuse IEDs¹¹ in the movie directed by the ex-wife of the most profitable director ever.  Keep your eyes open for cameos by Kate Austen, Lord Voldemort, and Fernand Mondego.  Also, if Avatar wins best picture over this movie it will be a travesty.

So the next time you find your self jonesing for a little American history, and you have 22 hours to spare, fire up your DVD player and make history come alive!
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¹ No Country for Old Men, American Beauty.
² Joe Dirt, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
³ In high school we would play this game when we were waiting around.
⁴ So don't yell at me when I don't put your movie on my list.
⁵ Any time that I am hiking, but especially at Turkey Run State Park, this music is always running through my head.
⁶ This guy is apparently a total prat in every movie he is in.
⁷ Sorry Andre Braugher, but it's the truth.
⁸ This is actually a joke that Tim Street started years ago, that guy and his inappropriate WW2 themes jokes.
⁹ I know the movie came before the TV show, but After-Mash was a real spin-off of MASH, apparently it was terrible.
¹⁰ The pastor at our church totally looks like Robert Redford, it's weird.
¹¹ Improvised explosive device, don't say I never taught you anything.

On Things That Are Rad

In which we discover a variety of items that can be quantifiably described as "rad."

My post for the week is a little earlier than normal due to stumbling onto some cool stuff over the weekend and today.

On Saturday I was on Facebook and my friend Matt had this written on his wall courtesy of his wife Ashley:  Old Spice ad: 'We're not saying Old Spice body wash will make your man smell like a romantic millionaire jet fighter pilot, but we are insinuating it.' I was intrigued and decided to discover if this was indeed an Old Spice add.  That is when I found the following.


Also this.

For a while now I have felt that Old Spice has some of the most consistently funny adds around. These do nothing to change that opinion.

I also discovered the work of graphic artist Brandon Schaefer who makes some pretty sweet original movie posters based off of classic films.  Here are my two favorites, if they were still in print I would totally think about buying one, or both, of them¹.

A few months ago I talked about Arrested Development, one of my favorite television shows.  Two of the actors from said show, Will Arnett and David Cross, are currently staring² in a show based out of the UK called The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret³.  Unfortunately it is only available overseas at the moment, but the first episode is up on Youtubes in three parts.  Watch it while you can, I don't know how long it will be before it gets taken down.  Warning: these are NOT safe for work viewing (language).







Blogmendment 10:21pm

While writing this blog, and even after I finished, I kept thinking that there was something I wanted to write about but was forgetting.  Then, during dinner, I remembered.  There is a movie coming out in April that looks hilarious, and got some great early reviews.  Here is the red band trailer (which means the trailer is R rated so you will have to enter a birth date so don't watch this at work).


Those are the rad things I found this week. What have you got?
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¹ In actuality I would most likely agonize about whether or not I should buy them, then end up not buying them, and always wonder if I should have bought them.
² Okay, so technically it stars David Cross is the star, but Arnett is classic in the scenes he is in.
³ This is just a fantastic name.

On Random Thoughts Part II: Holiday Edition 2009

In which we return to a previous concept, a ridiculous title is used as well as a record number of footnotes.

LED Christmas lights are a great idea; they don't get hot and consume less energy.  Unfortunately they look terrible compared to old school lights, only coming in strings of 60 lights (that's pretty short) and they are expensive.  Call me when you fix these problems.

Colleen¹ wants to hear my thoughts on the zombie apocalypse, I hit on that once but I can add to it.  Now I'm no expert, but I have seen some movies, played some games (video and board) and read some books on the subject of zombies.  Here are the three most important things to take care of.  1) Shelter, this is the most important piece.  You need to find a place that can be easily fortified, this means a limited number of low windows and a manageable amount of entry points (you will want more that one way in and out, but you need to know about them all).  2) Weapons, be smart about this.  A gun seems like a good idea, but it might be more trouble than it's worth, they are hard to keep clean, tough to use, and ammo might be difficult to find.  If you really want one I would suggest a shotgun, it's got a good blast radius and ammo should be easier to come by.  You will also want some sort of melee weapon, a bat, an axe, a hammer something you can swing.  Just know that they will break down over time, and the heavier they are the longer they will last but the slower you will be with them.  3) Supplies, you will need food and water to survive.  So searching for supplies will always require some bravery.  You may have to leave your shelter to head into infested areas, make sure you stick to places you are familiar with especially at first, and find a good balance of bring back enough stuff so you don't have to go out all the time but won't slow you down.  Canned foods will be your best friend.  Good luck out there.

My family and I went to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra yesterday.  It was pretty crazy.  Imagine a combination of Christmas music, rock-opera, 80's hair, laser/light/fire display and a full orchestra.  I had a great time but it would have been a little better if they hadn't played their non-Christmas stuff for a 1/3 of the show.  It's two days before Christmas, play Christmas music.

Sarah² asked me to write about the use of Vince Guaraldi music in Arrested Development, some of you might remember that was a show on my list of Top Five shows.  The use of Guaraldi's jazzy Charlie Brown Christmas music was used throughout the episode titled "Good Grief" is an example of why this show is so classic.  The highlight for me comes from the fact that in the back ground you can catch a glimpse of a beagle sleeping on the top of a red dog house.


Carrie³ want me to talk about our mice.  We had mice in our house.  They are gross.  We have killed two of them to date.  I'm hoping that is the end of it, but I doubt it.  That's all I have to say on the subject.

Lauren⁴ asked two things, I'm picking one.  The origin of "Pop Goes the Weasel."  Did you know there are over ten versions of the stupid song, some with many, many verses.  The oldest dates back to 1855.  I don't know where it came from, but I think it may have been a song about visiting prostitutes⁵.  Check it out:

Up and down the City Road

In and out the Eagle

That's the way the money goes

Pop! goes the weasel⁶.

Cameron would like to know if cows fall over and if they do can they get themselves up.  They do tip over (either from being pushed or falling when stumbling on a hill).  Smaller cows, calves, and steer can right themselves, most full grown cows can't.  Cows that can't get themselves up often die due to exhaustion and stress.  (This answer brought to you by Yahoo answers).

I have always enjoyed eggnog.  Despite how terrible it is for you.  I can usually handle about 4 glasses throughout the Christmas season (Thanksgiving-Christmas day).  Growing up I remember my grandfather drinking it after Christmas dinner, he always added rum and nutmeg.  I prefer bourbon⁷ and a nutmeg/cinnamon mixture in my nog.

Story-time interlude courtesy of my friend Kevin⁸.  Kevin and I grew up down the street from one another so we would hang out at one another's houses all the time.  One summer afternoon we were playing around with Snap-Pops and we got the bright idea to through them at passing cars, which we found hilarious.  It was all fun and games until we threw a few at a car and once it passed the house we saw the driver slam on the breaks and whip the car around.  I yelled to Kevin, "Run!" and took off around the side of the house and dove behind a small bush.  When I looked back at the driveway I realized that Kevin was still standing there in the middle of the driveway.  By this time the driver had pulled up to the base of the driveway and was screaming at Kevin.  I saw Kevin glance down at his shoes then turn his head slightly point to where I was and said, "Josh is in the bushes."  We still give him a hard time about it when he makes it back to Indiana.

My top four Christmas movies are, in this order, A Christmas Story, Die Hard, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, and Elf.  "Can't see the lines can you Russ?"

Whitney wants to know what video games would be the best/worst movies.  I would have said Silent Hill 2, but they tried that and it was a mess of studio meddling and wasted potential.  I think Metal Gear Solid, would have some cool potential if done right.  As for worst, Tetris.

"The Twelve Day's of Christmas" is a pretty ridiculous song.  My second favorite rendition of this song is by Straight No Chaser.  Here is a YouTube video of the song.  Please excuse the super-lame introduction.


Jon⁹ wants to know what my best/worst Christmas I ever got was.  I think my best gift was going with my dad to see Purdue play in 1998 Alamo Bowl against Kansas State.  State, ranked fourth in the nation, felt like they got snubbed by the BCS and ended up playing unranked Purdue.  Purdue jumped out to an early lead but Kansas State came back to take the lead 34-30 with just over a minute to go in the game.  But Purdue, led by freshman quarterback Drew Brees¹⁰ drove the field in just 54 seconds to score the game winning touchdown. It was spectacular.  I can't think of what the worst was.

Thank you to everyone who sent me topics to write about, it was a lot of fun.  I hope you all have an incredibly blessed Christmas and if you are traveling that you stay safe.  I've got to go watch Christmas Vacation with the family.

Merry Christmas!!
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¹ Delicious recipes found here: http://redwhiteandturkey.blogspot.com/
² I just started following Sarah, now you can too.  http://notwhollyinvain.blogspot.com/
³ Token Asian blog found here: http://thesaltyside.blogspot.com/
⁴ Warning don't go here unless you want to see super cute babies: http://majorscoop.blogspot.com/
⁵ I have no factual basis for this claim.
⁶ Come on, how is that not about visiting a prostitute?
⁷ Don't drink until you are 21 and even then please do so responsibly.
⁸ Kevin uses his blog responsibly to track his exercise routine, he is a much better person than I am. http://kevininc.com/
⁹ Jon has recently made a commitment to use footnotes more, a behavior I fully endorse. http://jonuebelhor.blogspot.com
¹⁰ You might have heard of him.

On Top Fives

In which we enter into the world of film, literature and television.  Just maybe not all at once.

For whatever reason when I got up this morning I decided that I would write today about my favorite movies, books and television shows.  I know that it is kind of a copout and not really that creative but that is how it goes.  Maybe I will try to spice things up as I go along.

Movies:

1)  The Shawshank Redemption (1994) - All the other movies on this list will be difficult to determine, both if and where they appear, but not Shawshank.  In high school I loved watching movie (I still do) my friends and I would go to the theater more often than I would like to admit, it didn't seem to matter how good the movie looked we will still go.  And other than a few notable exceptions, I'm looking at you Godzilla, Event Horizon, and Wild Wild West; I found enjoyment in even the dumbest movies¹.  Something about The Shawshank Redemption was different; there was something powerful and beautiful in this movie.  From the moment I first saw it in high school I knew that it would be something that I would never forget.  It's a movie that I know so well, and yet can watch again and again, I even wrote a paper about it in a class in college.  If you haven't seen this movie before do yourself a favor and rent it, or borrow it, or buy it, just find a way to watch it.  Or, if you live in Bloomington call me up, I'm about due to watch it again.

2)  Amistad (1997) - Historical fiction based on the real life slave revolt on Le Amistad, a slaving ship.  It's got great acting from Anthony Hopkins and Morgan Freeman as well as introduced me to Djimon Hounsou, who has the most powerful scene in the movie.  Much like Shawshank this was a movie that, upon seeing it in high school, I knew I had seen something special.

3) Hot Fuzz (2007) - Made by the same guys that did Shaun of the Dead this action comedy is a spoof of the "buddy cop" genre of action movies, but not a spoof in the sense of Scary Movie, or Date Movie, or Stupid Generic Cliché Movie (releasing summer 2010).  Instead Hot Fuzz has an actual story line, clever jokes, and great action.  If you have ever seen Bad Boys (or any Michael Bay movie) you owe it to yourself to check this one out.

4) Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980) - I enjoy all of the Star Wars movies.  Some, though, are better than others.  Here is my order from favorite to least: Empire, A New Hope/Return (tied), Episode III, Episode II, Episode I.  It should be noted that The Empire Strikes Back is leaps and bounds ahead of the others.  Empire has got the heart that the prequels are missing, solid directing, and does not rely on Muppets (with the exception of Yoda).  It creates a real sense of menace in the villains, and has some great character development.  All of this from a science fiction movie, who would have guessed?  P.S. The prequels would have been much better if Lucas had kept his hands off of them.

5) The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004) - So this is the point in my movie list where things get a little...shifty.  The other four movies are pretty well locked in, but this fifth spot changes more readily.  Anyway, Life Aquatic was directed by Wes Anderson, who is a very quirky filmmaker.  He is always very intentional about the choices that he makes.  This is certainly true about this film.  But the one moment that really stuck out to me was this one:

What really blew me away was the fact that they had built this giant half of a boat so that they could shoot this long continuous shot.  Life Aquatic gets a bad wrap for being a little on the slow side, but if you have the patience there is a lot of beauty to be found in it.

Books:

1) East of Eden (1952) - I first read East of Eden in high school for a Biblical literature class my senior year.  When we were first handed the book it seemed rather daunting, I had always enjoyed reading, but hated being told what to read.  There was something different about this book though.  Right from the very start it grabbed me, and I was hooked.  If you've never read the book it was written by John Steinbeck and follows the lives of two families from Salinas Valley California.  In the midst of this Steinbeck ponders the ideas of natural and learned behavior and whether our parent's mistakes follow us to be our mistakes.  All the while the characters in East of Eden parallel the lives of many Old Testament figures.  It is the best book I've ever read, and if that is not enough of an endorsement then I will let the author speak for himself.  "It has everything in it I have been able to learn about my craft or profession in all these years." And, "I think everything else I have written has been, in a sense, practice for this."

2) The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay (2000) - This book is ranked second on my all-time favorite list...but not by much.  The only reason that it does fall to second is simply because I read East of Eden first so it has a longer hold on me.  K&C is the story of two cousins living in New York city just before America enters WWII.  Joe Kavalier is a young Jewish boy who escapes from Germany controlled Prague to live with his family in NYC.  Sammy Clay is Joe's cousin who has huge aspirations but a bought with polio when he was young crippled both his legs and his confidence.  The novel explores themes of escapism, guilt and family through the lens of the boys' aspirations to join in on the comic boom of the early 40's.  This is a beautiful story with absolutely gut-wrenching scenes that almost always bring a tear to my eyes.  I would let you borrow it if you want, but Nick has been reading it for over a year...the jerk².

3) The Road (2006) - I still want to devote a whole post to this book, but I want to write about my reaction to the movie as well as the book.  Since the movie doesn't come out for another week and a half we will just have to wait on that.  I was talking too Carrie a month or so ago when she was trying to come up with books for a book group³, this was one of the first suggestions that I gave.  "I've heard it's too depressing" was her reply (or something to that effect).  I don't agree with this in the slightest.  It is certainly not a happy-go-lucky story of rainbows and puppies, but there is so much hope to be found in this story.  This book is, simply put, a love story between a father and his son.  Don't believe me?  Check out this great interview that the Wall Street Journal did with Cormac McCarthy, the author of The Road, here is a link for your convenience.


To be, let me finish, continued...

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¹Examples of beloved cheesy movies include both The Fifth Element (Bruce Willis at his finest) and Starship Troopers.  These movies embody the very idea idea of super-fun yet ridiculous.
²Just kidding Nick, you aren't a jerk.  At least not for this reason.
³ How's that book study going Care?

On Random Thoughts

In which we quickly jump from topic to topic, and footnotes are used for the first time.

The key when eating a foot-long sub from Subway, much like eating Chinese food, is to wait a few minutes between the first half and the second. You aren't as hungry as you think, and if you finish it all now you will feel terrible and not have dinner ready made later on.


Note to self:  Before feeling concerned for the safety of a child presumably trapped in a runaway, homemade balloon check for the following warning signs that everything is not all that it seems. 1) The parents are nutty storm chasers who were on a reality TV show⁽¹⁾.  2) The aforementioned nutty parents named their child "Falcon."  3) Said parents also contacted new stations about their missing sun prior to contacting the police.  If one or more of these conditions apply the child is most likely safe in the attic and the parent may or may not be a d-bag⁽²⁾ who put his kid up to it for publicity purposes.


I am terribly excited for the new movie Where the Wild Things Are.  It is the first movie in many months that I would be fine seeing opening weekend and not waiting for it to be a Five Buck Club movie.  If you haven't seen the trailer yet here it is for your enjoyment.  Just watching the trailer makes me feel like a kid again, I can't wait to see this movie.


One movie that I will absolutely see opening night, and will drag along as many people as I am able, is The Road staring Vigo Mortensen.  It is based on Cormac McCarthy's book by the same title.  The book is beautiful and dark and hopeful and deserves much more than I can say in a simple paragraph so we will come back to it at another time.


If you find yourself ordering clothing online know that REI.com has the fastest turn around that I have seen on their shipping.  I ordered a sweater from them on Tuesday night and it arrived three days later.  Conversely, Amazon's Super Saver shipping is the worst, I've had items coming from Kentucky take 2 weeks to arrive.


At the request of Tim Street I will now talk about Lando Calrissian.  Lando is a good friend to Han Solo and a known scoundrel and all-round ladies man.  He is probably best know as the only black guy in Star Wars and for blowing up an uncompleted Death Star⁽³⁾.  Here is a picture of Lando in Lego form.  Calm under pressure Lando knows that Han will have that shield down, we've just got to give him more time.  Lando is in no way related to Dumbledore Calrissian who needed to return a ring to Mordor.


Sara Zimmer says, "Write about rabies."  Okay.  Rabies, not to be confused with scabies or babies, is a virus that is often carried by wild mammals.  If you have rabies right now you should probably stop reading my blog and go seek medical help, other wise you will probably die.  Apparently there are a number of countries where rabies is no longer present.  One of which is Australia (as well as a lot of Europe) at first this might not seem fair, but those guys have it alot worse...trust me.  Here are some important facts about rabies from Michael Scott, Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin.

"Myth - three Americans die every year from rabies. Fact - four Americans every year die from rabies. How many of you know someone that has been afflicted or affected by rabies? Show of hands. One, two, three... too many to count. It is truly the silent killer. No, it is the foaming barking killer."

Thanks Michael, that was extremely helpful.  Hope you enjoyed my smattering of topics.  And the footnotes.

Seriously, who wants to see Where the Wild Things Are or The Road with me?
___________________________________________________________________________________
(1) On the terribly named show "Wife Swap," I swear some TV executives need to be slapped or thrown in jail or both.
(2) If it turns out this was all some elaborate hoax the parents should have to pay back the tax payers money that was wasted chasing that balloon down.  If they can't afford it they should be forced to watch terrible reality TV shows until their eyes fall out.
(3) And he probably killed thousand of private contractors hired to complete the Death Star.  For a discussion on the ethical implications of killing thousands of non-combatants I invite you to watch this clip from the movie Clerks (click here) please note that this clip almost certainly contains vulger language.

On My Jams

In which more is learned about the illustrious author, a phrase is appropriated, and a sister is most likely infuriated.

A few weeks ago, while on vacation with my family, my sister and I were talking about something. I don't remember what it was, but during the course of the conversation I remarked that something "was my jam." My sister said, "what, you can't use that phrase like that." To which I responded that I could use it how I wanted, she remained intransigent claiming that it was clearly in reference liking a song, or "jam."

This conversation was echoing in my head as I planned out what I was going write about next (yes I do think about what I'm going to write before I write it, usually) and I decided that I could kill two birds with one stone. I have neglected to talk much about myself in this blog, so I figured I could educate you all, as well as make my mark on the meaning of the phrase "that's my jam." As an added bonus I just might enrage my sister.

So without further ado, here are my jams.

1. I will not deny that the phrase "my jam" was originally meant for songs, so lets start there. My musical taste is...odd, to say the least. I go in waves as far as what I enjoy listening to. Recently I have been listening Mos Def's latest CD The Ecstatic. Most people know Mos Def as an actor however, he is also quite the accomplished musician. This is the first time that I have listen to much of his stuff, over all I enjoyed all of the tracks, some I feel are better than others. However, of the 16 tracks on the album I would have to say that number 6, "Quiet Dog Bite Hard" is my jam.

2. When I'm driving around town I usually listen to music, whether on the radio or on CD's. When I am going a longer distance (3 hours or more) I find music to be more annoying than anything. So as an alternative I like to get books on CD's. They seem to make the time go a little faster, maybe its because with 6 discs in my player I can get six hours continuous hours of listening in. I've listened to fiction, non-fiction, short stories, classics and new favorites. Rarely, have I been disappointed. It is to the point now where I look forward to long drives now, audio books are definitely my jam.

3. On my way to Nashville this last weekend I listened to Elmore Leonard's newest novel Road Dogs. It is a sequel to his book Out of Sight which was made into a movie staring George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez. I love Elmore Leonard's books, he is a master at telling a good crime story. Books like The Hot Kid, Cuba Libre, Out of Sight, and Get Shorty are all fantastic books (the last two were even transitioned in to great movies).
Leonard's characters seem to come alive on the pages, and any action becomes visible in the minds eye. And for those who read multiple stories you will find familiar names popping up throughout his tales as he weaves one giant tapestry. Few people are as gifted at making a thief relatable. The stories of Elmore Leonard, regardless of their medium, are my jam.

4. Thievery is a large part of the game The Settlers of Catan, a game that I have been known to enjoy from time to time with my friends. To explain the game would take too long, the important thing to know is that during the game you collect resources based on a dice roll, so from game to game some resource will be more available than others. At the start of the game each player chooses a starting position, their decision incorporates varying resources, numbers and strategies. If I'm playing and an 8-9-5, ore-sheep-wheat pops up, you'd better believe that's my jam.

5. When I am in the mood to make myself a nice home cooked breakfast there is usually one direction that I head in. I scramble myself some eggs (from the Corey's farm if I have some), throw some shredded cheese and black bean and corn salsa on top, and pop some wheat bread in the toaster. That's my breakfast jam.

6. When I need to put something on top of that toast?

Strawberry, it's my jam.