On Getting Out of a Hole

 In which an allegory is appropriated and applied to real life.

My friend Sparkles spoke truly when she said that Aaron Sorkin¹ knows what he is doing when it comes to making Christmas themed television episodes.  He just really knows how to bring it in a real way and evoke an emotional response.  In the second season of The West Wing the Christmas episode, titled Noël, has a scene that just grabbed a hold of me when I watched it a few weeks ago.

Without spoiling much, the episode revolves around the deputy chief of staff Josh who is dealing with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.  Throughout the episode there are times when he seems to lose his grip on the present, suffering from flashbacks and cold sweats.  He also becomes irrationally angry and at one point gets in a shouting match with the president.  None of these things are good things for anyone to be dealing with, but especially someone who is working so closely to the president.  Josh is obviously concerned that this issue may lead to him losing his job.  In fact he is required to meet with a psychologist for an evaluation to determine if he is still fit to be at work.

When he comes out of the meeting his boss Leo is waiting for him.  What follows is the scene that takes place between the two of them.  I’ll write out the dialogue in case the YouTube video is taken down, or if you can’t view it at work.  But you should really watch it instead of just reading it².

Leo McGarry: How'd it go?

Josh Lyman: Did you wait around for me?

Leo McGarry: How'd it go?

Josh Lyman: He thinks I may have an eating disorder...

Leo McGarry: Josh...

Josh Lyman: ...and a fear of rectangles. That's not weird, is it? [pause] I didn't cut my hand on a glass. I broke a window in my apartment.

Leo McGarry: This guy's walking down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, "Hey you, can you help me out?" The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out." [pause] Long as I got a job, you got a job, you understand?

I started to think about all of the people that I have met in my life.  Friends, family, students, co-workers, everyone.  I thought about times that they were in need and how I responded, or will respond in the future.  “I want to be like Joe,” I thought.  I don’t want to throw a prayer at someone.  I don’t want to throw a Band-Aid³ at someone.  I want to do something unexpected.  I want to get down in the hole with them and help them find the way out.

How great would it be if that is how I lived my life?  Jumping down into pits help people out when they are stuck.  It would be amazing.  But here is the deal.  The more that I thought about it the more I realized that’s not normally the situation that I find myself in.  And that is not the character that I find myself relating to.  More often than not I’m not Joe; I’m the dude in the hole.  I, all too often, find myself looking up at people as they pass by not knowing what to do next.  And that, I realized, is why this scene resonated with me so much; it contains an important bit of truth.

When you find yourself stuck down in some dark place there are people that want to get down there with you and show you the way out, because they have been there too.  The thing is, and I really think this is really important, the thing is, you have to let them know you are down there.  You have to be willing to say, “Hey Joe, it’s me, can you help me out?”  And sure you might get some prescriptions or prayers tossed at you, but eventually a friend is going come down to where you are, and he or she is going to show you the way out.

But you need to ask first.
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¹ Of Sports Night, Studio 60, The West Wing, A Few Good Men, and Charlie Wilson’s War fame.
² You should really just watch the whole episode, it was stellar.
³ Or any generic self-adhesive strip.