On Being Countercultural

In which two responses to a similar call are considered and a challenge extended.

Have you ever had an idea swimming around in your head and it just doesn't seem leave?  That where I've been this last week.  So I thought I put it all down here on this blog.

According to my past labels I have talked about my small group before.  However, I don't think that I have mentioned that we are currently studying Genesis¹.  We are currently studying Genesis².  There now that that is out of the way we can move forward.  Last week we looked at Genesis chapter 12 in it is God's original call to Abram, who would become Abraham.

"The Lord had said to Abram, 'Leave your county, your people and you father's household and go to the land I will show you³.'"

I think there are a couple of interesting things going on in this one verse.  First, it should be noted that in Abram's time, in what is now Iraq, family was everything.  Many people were nomadic traders (including, it is believed, Abram's) and you stuck with your family as a sign of strength.  The wealth and power of a tribe was dependent on its size, so one way to bolster this power was to have kids and to have them stay with you.  When the patriarch of the family died one of the sons, usually the eldest, took control and the tribe continued on.  Secondly, when traveling you stayed on the same trade route that you always stayed on making the same loops through the same areas year after year.  This is partly because you got to know the people that you would trade with, but more importantly this took place in the desert.  Knowledge of the land, where to find food, water and shelter, was integral to your very survival.

Knowing this adds a certain amount of gravity to the call "leave your country, your people, and your father's household."  The Lord was telling Abram to leave everything he knew.  To leave the safe places he was familiar with, the power and safety found in the family, the material wealth of the tribe.  In essence Abram was asked to leave his life behind, to turn away from everything he knew.  God was asking him to be countercultural (see how I brought that around).

Things only get crazier in the second half of the verse.  God doesn't tell Abram where he is to go, he simply says to "go to the land I will show you."  "Follow me" he says, with no map, no compass, not even GPS.  And Abram goes.  Pretty wild stuff, but in return God promises to make Abram into a great nation (which is a pretty bold claim when your wife can't have kids) and to bless him.  Not only that but Abram's name will be a blessing and through him all people of the earth will be blessed.

Keep all of this in mind as we jump ahead a few thousand years and see a similar situation with very different results.

In Matthew chapter 19 Jesus is teaching people, blessing small kids, basically doing his thing.  When a young man comes up to him and asks him what good things he must do to gain eternal life.  Jesus tells him to follow the commandments.  The man asks which ones and Jesus says, "'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself⁴.'"  "Done-skies," says the man, "what else you got⁵."

So Jesus tells him that he needs to sell all of his stuff, give the money to the poor, so that he will have treasure in heaven, and then he needs to come follow Jesus.  The next sentence is very interesting.  Most translations, the NIV included, say "When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth⁶."  However, in his commentary on the book of Matthew, Dale Bruner says that a more accurate translation is, "But when the young man heard this teaching, he went away heartsick, because he had many things⁷" (my emphasis).

Let's come back to the translations in a moment.  The first thing that is important is how similar this is to God's call to Abram.  While things start off a little different, with the young man essentially seeking Jesus's blessing (eternal life), the two stories dovetail quickly.  God tells Abram that he must leave everything behind and follow where God leads without telling him where that is.  By doing so his name, which is a blessing, will live on forever by blessing all the people of the earth.  Jesus tells the young man that he needs to leave behind everything and follow where Jesus leads without telling him where that is.  By doing so he will have eternal life.  Unfortunately for the young man he is unable to make the sacrifice that he is called to make.  Which brings us back to the different translations.

So often this passage is read as a rich man talking to Jesus, the heading of the section is even "The Rich Young Man" (but don't get me started on the headings in general, they drive me nuts).  When we read it like that it is easy for us to shake our heads and think, those silly rich people, making idols of their vast wealth, how sad for them.  We distance ourselves from the young man, thinking, that isn't me, I'm not rich. And you know what; I don't consider myself to be rich.  So for a long time I didn't connect with this guy.  I do however have lots of stuff.  And I'm guessing that you do as well.

We live in a consumer driven society, we are taught that it is good to buy, or more importantly, to own things.  We think that the more we own the more control we have over our lives, and the things in it.  But more often than not owning a bunch of crap doesn't give us control, it controls us.  Still, though, we buy books and movies and clothes when we don't really need them, or could borrow them⁸.  We overextend ourselves financially so that we can have the newest, most updated gadgets.  And companies are more than happy to supply us with all of this nonsense (I'm looking in your direction Steve Jobs).

By reading this passage as a story about a young man with many things it seems to speak directly to the consumer culture of America.  Because in this culture whether you are rich, poor, or somewhere in the middle you most likely have many things.  Jesus challenges us, get ride of all the crap in your life and just follow him.  Live a life that is in radical opposition to the culture of the day.  Follow him, and we will be blessed, and will be a blessing to those around us.


So that's my challenge for you this week.  Take stock of your life.  What is it filled with?  Maybe it's time for us to consume less and follow Jesus more, because you know what, that dude had some pretty awesome ideas on how to live life.  Will it be easy?  No.  But living a life that is countercultural rarely is.
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¹ That would be the Biblical book Genesis not the British rock band Genesis.
² Do you remember the song I Can't Dance, I totally had that album.
³ Genesis 12:1 NIV
⁴ Matthew 19:18-19 NIV
⁵ That may be a paraphrase.
⁶ Matthew 19:22 NIV
⁷ Matthew A Commentary, Book 2 The Churchbook, by Dale Bruner, page 286.
⁸ For some great thoughts on this very topic check out my friend Sarah's blog, she hit on the topic not once, but twice.

On the Life and Legacy of Wendell Winkles

In which a quest undertaken leads unexpected places.

Mr. Wendell Winkles¹ awoke with a start.  He leapt from his bed and muttered to himself, "I need a fish."  This thought quickly left his mind as he looked down and realized that he was stark naked; which he found odd given that he had gone to bed in a flannel onesie.  He walked to his closet to find something to wear.  Would it be the black with green dots, the blue with red squares, or the brown with white stripes?  Wendell Winkles stood starring listlessly into the closet unable to decide when a massive shiver shook his paunchy, wrinkly body.  His hand shot into the closet and retrieved the first object that it touched.  Mr. Winkles wrapped the blue and red burlap cloak² around his body and strode out of the smallish room through his living nook and out the front door to retrieve his mid-day paper.

"I need a fish!" Wendell screamed to the heavens.  The sunlight shimmered off of his blondish-black stubble, "I need a fish," he bellowed again.  His neighbors looked at him with question marks in their eyes³.  Old Mrs. Zanklebabner walked over to where Wendell Winkles stood gazing at the noon day sun, mouth agape, breathing heavily.

"Are you alright, deary?" She asked softly.

Wendell's head snapped down and met her eye-line, crazy juice⁴ pouring from his nose and mouth.  His eyes widened as he screamed in the poor old woman's face, "I need a fish," and then took off running down the street as fast as he could go, all the time screaming, "I need a fish.  I need a fish."  Every thirty feet or so the screaming would stop as Mr. Winkles would pause and ever so calmly adjust his cloak and tighten his sash so as not to expose himself to the people he was running past.  Why no one suggested to him to simply double knot his sash is a mystery to this day⁵.

The screaming continued as the frantic Mr. Winkles entered the park.  He made a bee line straight for the large pond at the park's center.  After scaling the large boulder at waters edge he screamed one final time, "I need a fish," before belly flopping into the pond and swimming to the bottom.  Minutes passed and still Wendell did not emerge from the putrid waters, a crowd slowly gathered around the shore.  Suddenly, Mr. Winkles' blue and red cloak floated to the surface.  Quincy Adam Johnson, park ranger, family man, and three time grand champion of the Ologokie County Costume Contest⁶, approached the crowd and asked them what was going on.

"A man jumped into the pond and hasn't come up," a young mother of 3.14 kids⁷ said.

Ranger Johnson sighed and sat down to remove his boots when he heard a rustle in the bushes near the water followed by a giggle.  He approached the bushes with caution, pushing his way through the foliage.  When he reached a clearing he saw a single shaft of light illuminating the glistening, well known and somewhat controversial⁸ back hair of Wendell Winkle.

"Wendell, what are you doing out here?" Ranger Johnson asked.

Wendell's head turned, grinning he said, "I have a fish."

He raised his arms and proudly showed his prize.  In his hands was a slightly moistened and severely agitated squirrel.  The squirrel bit Wendell's thumb and scampered into the underbrush.  Wendell stood up and turned to Ranger Johnson.

"Balls."

Ranger Johnson looked at the very nude, still wet behemoth and simply remarked, "Indeed."

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¹ Of the Kansas City^A Winkles.
² The very same style of cloak that Minowag the VII Sovereign Mountebank of Greater Thanperia wore at his coronation ceremony.
³ All except crazy, old Tommy "Raven Hater" Billingham, who had no eyes^B.
⁴ Snot and drool.
⁵ Though some scholars contend that onlookers may have been temporarily hypnotized by the giggling fat, why others postulate that people were to busy mentally preparing themselves for the seemingly inevitable, yet entirely accidental, dong viewing.
⁶ For his first-rate portrayal of Lando Calrissian.
⁷ Don't ask.
⁸ For years there has been a debate amongst the townspeople about what Wendell's back hair looked like. Some said it appeared to be shaped like an albatross fighting a gazelle, while others saw a mermaid riding a mastodon.

^A That would be the Kansas City Kansas Winkles not the Kansas City Missouri Winkles.
^B Because a raven pecked them out.

On Paul's Prayer

In which a warning is given, serious issues are discussed, and maybe some heresy.

Content warning:  This week I step back from the cavalcade of absurdity that is the norm for this blog.  Some of you may be disheartened to hear that, for others you may be thinking that it is about time.  For those of you in the first category don't fear, I will try and think of something extra ridiculous for next week¹.

I'm not really big on New Years resolutions.  I really couldn't give you a good reason.  In thinking about it the only thing that came to mind was that it reminds me a lot like Lent.  For a lot of people they seem to make these resolutions because it's the thing to do, and often they can barely make it a week.  With Lent people tend to give things up, not because it is supposed to signify there giving something to God but because it's just what you do.  Now I just read what I typed and it sounds very judgmental, which is not really what I was going for.  I think that, if even for a week, people try and eat healthier, or give up swearing, that it is a good thing.  But for me personally, I didn't want to have a resolution, or give something up for Lent unless I felt called to do so.

Long story short, this year I still didn't make any resolutions but I did make some goals for myself.  Which may be splitting hairs over the difference between the two but I'm okay with it.  My first goal was to exercise consistently.  It is something that I have tried to do in the past and failed at repeatedly, so I decided to kick things up a notch and threw down cash money on a gym membership at the Sportsplex.  So far I have been successful, now I just have to keep at it.

My second goal is to spend time everyday in prayer and reading the Bible.  It might not seem this way based solely on my writing here but my faith is the most important thing to me.  It plays a part in everything I do.  How I interact with people, where I live, what I do with my time.  It defines who I am as a person.  I am a different person when I am spending time with the Lord.  I don't think that it is a coincidence that my consistency at the gym is synchronous with my consistency in the Word.

Paul is probably my second favorite guy in the new testament²; he really brings it in his letters to various churches.  And despite what the Catholic Church may tell you when it comes to defining early Christianity he is probably the most influential person whose middle initial isn't "H."  I took a class on Paul when I was in college, which is really when I began to appreciate his writing more, and I wish that I remembered more of what I learned in it.  But no worries because I have something even better to share with you about Paul.

Please note:  I apologize in advance for any offense that the following paragraphs cause you.

One of the last things I did while I was on staff with Young Life was to attend Winter Institute, a two week intensive training session.  We spent 8+ hours a day in lectures discussing such topics as, child development, developing theology, cross-cultural interactions, and a variety of other topics that have since dissolved from my brain.  While I was at the training I was rooming with Josh, a staff guy from Ft. Wayne, and two staff guys from Texas.  One night when we were all hanging out, and feeling especially smart (or maybe stupid because we'd been in class so long), we started talking about all of the messages that Paul preaches in his letters.  After a while we were able do boil everything Paul says to the churches into one simple, easy to remember phrase.  It certainly didn't cover everything Paul wrote, but it was the best we could come up with.  The more that I thought about it the more I liked it.  Here is was we decided.

"Paul says, 'Don't be a dick.'"

Now again I apologize for the language, and if this is the last you read of my blog I understand, thanks for coming around.  But time and time again Paul was urging Christians to not get caught up on petty issues.  To love the Lord, to love Jesus, and to love each other.  So I think it works well.

What does all this have to do with my goal of being in the word, or of the title of the post for that matter?  Let me tell you.  The first Pauline letter that I read this year was Ephesians.  No other letter that Paul writes has this message to put aside petty differences more than his letter to the church at Ephesus.  The first day of reading I came across a prayer that Paul wrote out for the church and thought to myself that it was pretty neat.  So I underlined it so that I would remember it.  Two days later I was reading chapter 3 and there was another prayer that Paul wrote that seemed to dovetail with the first very well.  I decided to see what they would look like back to back so I did some copy and paste magic and found that they flowed together perfectly.  I first changed the personal pronouns around so that it would be a first person prayer.  Then I realized that it would just as well as a corporate prayer.  That's when it became this:

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give us the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that we may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of our hearts may be enlightened in order that we may know the hope to which he has called us, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for we who believe.  For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen us with power through his Spirit in our inner being, so that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith. And I pray that we, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that we may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.   Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen³.

I have really been digging this prayer.  I think it is perfect for the community I live in, for the small group I am a part of, for the church I attend, and for the Church universal.  I try and pray it every morning before I leave the house.  And I hope that as the year progresses it becomes less of something I say and more of something that is always on my heart.

Blessings!  And remember, Paul says, "Don't be a dick."
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¹ Maybe double footnotes?
² Psst...number one would be Jesus.
³ Ephesians 1:17-19 & 3:14-21

On the Gritty, Hardboiled, Noir Side of Life

In which we peer into the seamy underbelly of crime fiction, enjoy childhood classics, and a short story is shared.

I grew up on Calvin and Hobbes¹.  I didn't always get the jokes, or understand the words that were used, but I loved sitting down and reading Bill Watterson's funny pages masterpiece.  One of my favorite personas that Calvin took on was Tracer Bullet, rough and surly private detective that stalked the streets trying to solves mysteries like who broke the lamp?² There was something about the stark use of shadows and the callous first person narration that seemed to strike a chord with me, it resonated in my consciousness.  I had my first run in with noir fiction, and I loved it.

Noir fiction is, most simply, crime fiction that looks at crime and violence in a realistic or callous way.  It just puts it out there; crime happens, it's the way of the world.  However, noir fiction, and with it film noir, will often lead to debates among academics.  What makes a story noir, is the characters, the subject matter, the setting?  Can one story be "more noir" than another?  You are on your own to answer those questions.  But in my mind there is something about a noir story (whether film or written) that defines it as such, the only thing I can think of to describe it is an attitude that the story has.  Something that runs deep with in the story.  Clearly it is a well thought out definition that I have going here³.

Last summer I read The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett.  Falcon's main character, Sam Spade, is considered the archetype for hardboiled detectives⁴.  The book was a very fun read.  It had a great story filled with sex, murder, lies, femme-fatales and some interesting plot twists.  All from a book written in the 1930's (it was originally written as a serial published in a magazine).  I think that is one of the more interesting thing about this book, written in a time that had much stricter regulations on what would be in a book Hammett had to get creative with his prose to accurately portray the criminal lifestyle without offending anyone.  Here is my favorite example:
    
      "The boy spoke two words; the first was a short guttural verb, the second "you." (Hammett, 94)

When it comes to movies that list of those films that fall under the category of noir is....extensive, to say the least.  I haven't seen as many film noir movies as I would like to, but here are some of the ones that I have seen that I have greatly enjoyed.  Ronin (1998)⁵, L.A. Confidential (1997), Payback (1999)⁶, A History of Violence (2005), Brick (2006), Momento (2000), and Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (2005).  The last three all play on the conventions of the noir style.  Brick takes a noir style story and dialogue and places it in the setting of a high school, leading to a fast talking, cynical high school student attempting to solve the murder of his ex-girlfriend.  Momento's main character follows a man who is trying to solve the murder of his wife, the plot twist here is that he has no short term memory, the film makers utilize an out of sequence style of shooting to allow the viewer to experience the same frustrations that the main character has.  Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang is a noir comedy that has a fictional noir story as a central lot point.  If you watch this movie you will get to enjoy Robert Downey Junior playing a thief pretending to be an actor who is learning how to pretend to be a detective.

Call them what you want, comic books, graphic novels, sequential art, anyway you say it comics don't get a whole lot of respect.  They are seen as juvenile and simple, and they can be, but there are also incredibly deep stories to be found.  And in this case an amazingly rich noir world filled with great characters, engaging stories, and wonderful art.  It is called Criminal, written by Ed Brubaker, drawn by Sean Phillips, and colored by Val Staples.  Criminal follows the world of two generations of crime in fictional Center City.  These stories are, quite simply, some of the best I've ever read, and you would do yourself a great service to check them out⁷.  Here is a sample for you from the second story line that follows Tracey Lawless as he seeks revenge for his brother's murder (click the pictures to see bigger versions):

In order to graduate from college I needed to take an intensive writing class so I decided to take creative writing.  It ended up being on of my favorite classes.  We read a whole bunch of short stories and wrote about seven of our own.  Our professor was a little weird and wouldn't grade our papers with letter grades; instead she would give checks and check pluses.  My favorite story that I wrote fits in well with this post because it ended up having a very noir feel to it.  It was not my highest graded paper, that would be the first one that I wrote which received a ✓++, this paper only received a lowly ✓+.  Here are some excerpts:

"The bar was dank and smoke filled, and the poor lighting only enhanced the drab décor.  A sparse number of age-old paper clippings were the only interruption to the primarily unadorned walls.  The entire atmosphere was designed to heighten the depression of the customers.  The more depressed they were, the more they drank, the more they drank the more money the owner made.  It really just came down to simple arithmetic.  Three men in suits sat on stools, nursing beers and staring off into nothingness, attempting to forget the day’s events.  In the back corner a man sat, anxiously looking around.  His eyes shot back and forth, scanning the darkness.  Eyes never resting, never focusing on anything in particular, neither did his mind.  One hand rested on the table, in an obvious attempt to appear casual, while the other clutched his jacket, which rested next to him on the booth’s seat.   A waitress walked over to his table."

Here is some dialogue from later in the story:

“Well yeah, I know that’s what we talked about.  But I just think that it’s worth more than ten.  If I give it to you for that then I’m just screwing myself over.”

Jackson clenched his teeth, banged his fist down onto the table.  “No, you listen to me.  We had a deal; the deal was for ten thousand.  There is no way that I’m going to pay anymore than that,” he said in a harsh whisper.

“Then maybe I’ll just take me business elsewhere,” Cal began to get up.

“Sit down, and shut up.”

Cal sat down and leaned over the table whispering fiercely, “Or what?  Are you threatening me?  That’s not how this works, Jacky.  You are the one who called me.  You are the one who was begging me to sell it to you in the first place.  You are the one who needs it so badly.  So the way I see it you are not in any position to be making demands of me.”

If you are interested in my story you can read the whole thing here.  Sorry about any formatting errors that may be there, it didn't translate to Google Reader that well.  Also, I haven't really done much to the story in year, so excuse any spelling or grammar errors.

Crime fiction, a great way to get in touch with your inner sociopath.
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¹ Images above created and drawn by Bill Watterson, found on Google Image Search, please don't sue me.
² It was Hobbes.
³ Or not.
⁴ Including the aforementioned Tracer Bullet.
⁵ Which has the distinct honor of not only having some of the best car chases ever filmed, but it is also the first DVD I ever bought.
⁶ If you want to check this movie out make sure you get the directors cut, not the original versions, it is much better.
⁷ Visit your local library.

On A Year In Review

In which we look back on the year past, reminisce, reflect, and recount all while avoiding sentimentality.

If you are looking for a blog post that will look back at all the important events of 2009, you have come to the wrong place.  If you have come looking for a year in review of the greatest pop culture achievements of the last year, you have come to the wrong place.  If you have come for a reflection on failed resolutions and a promise to stay on track this year, you have come to the wrong place.  If you have come to read about whatever random events I can remember from the last 365 days, then you are right where you need to be.  Welcome!

The year 2009 had an inauspicious beginning as I was forced to leave the New Years party at Mike and Jessica's early due to my allergies acting up.  I can't say I was too disappointed as New Years is one of my least favorite holidays.

'The Great Blizzard of 09' hits at the end of January¹ dumping massive amounts of snow on Bloomington and the surrounding areas.  No school for a week was pretty nice, I would have loved to gone out to enjoy the wintery wonderland, however out crappy landlord didn't plow our parking area for the entire week, nice job guy².  We did use the snow drifts outside of our front door to keep beer cold.

In February I tried Shiner Hefeweizen, it had a really sweet bottle cap.  So I started collecting them, but I wasn't sure why...yet.  Dun dun dun.... 

In March I went to Mexico with my dad.  We stayed at a swank all-inclusive resort in the Mayan Riviera.  It was pretty awesome.  We went deep sea fishing and on a zipline tour of the jungle.  There were pools everywhere and everything to eat and drink was free.  Each night we picked a different restaurant to eat at.  Ironically enough the best food we had was the hibachi grill/sushi place.  If you ever have the chance to go to a place like this I highly recommend it, it is so choice³.

Upon returning to Bloomington I got dominated by some 24 hour virus or something.  I alternated between burning lava hot and shivering.  I didn't leave the bed for two days and watch some really awesome movies on my computer, one of which was Starship Toopers, which is fantastic in its ridiculousness.

Around this time, in March or April, Brett, B-Carl and I went to check out Roadhouse Pizza.  The pizza was mediocre at best, and they sell cokes by the can, which is way lame.  However, there was a pinball machine that gave out free games like it was its job, we put in 75¢ and played for like an hour; just free game after free game.  Eventually we even attracted a crowd.  When we left there was a free game left that we passed on to a family waiting for their food.

In April I went to see the Little 5.  It was fun and the weather was great.  However, one of my old Wyldlife kids was riding in the race; that made me feel old.  It wouldn't be the first time it happened this year.

Graduated from college for the second time in May.  Now you may call me master.

Went to my second Indy 500 race.  It was a lot of fun; we were on the first short shoot, so some good crashes as well as A.C. Slater⁴.

On May 28th, 2009 the world changed forever, this day will be remembered always in the hearts of people everywhere as the day this blog began.  See it from its humble beginnings here.

June held in store for me a trip to Maine with the family⁵ and the most ridiculous job I have ever done.  I was essentially a hall monitor for the Upward Bound summer program.  I walked from building to building on campus and made sure kids were where they needed to be, when I wasn't doing that I was reading, or playing "David Jones Bingo™" it was simultaneously terrible and awesome.

Also in June we had our only week of summer weather.  It was unbearably hot, luckily it didn't last long.

July marked the end of an era.  Since I didn't know what I was going to be doing the following school year and our lease was up Tim Street and I would be headed to different locations.  Of the 120 months in this last decade I have lived with Tim for 60 of them.  That's pretty crazy.  And for the first time since the summer of 2001 Tim and I were living in Bloomington at the same time, but not in the same place.

At the end of July I moved in with the Feltons temporarily.  It would become permanent.  When I moved in I inherited a bowl full of bottle caps that the Feltons had also been collecting.  During the move I finally realized what I would do with all of the caps.  I had an end table with a removable glass top that covered a sunken in part.  I decided to fill this area with caps, but I didn't have enough, so the collection continued.....for now.

In August we had a Young Life reunion with a bunch of old leaders.  We played wiffleball and my team and an epic comeback that fell just short, but it was fun none the less.

A few weeks later I started my job at Jackson Creek in the in-school suspension room.  I ended up working there about 17 weeks.  During that time I read 20 books.

In October Bloomington Young Life put on their first ever weekend camp.  Years ago the whole state would come together for a weekend but it was cancelled due to sucking, so Bloomington just figured that they do their own.  Jeff, the area director, asked me to speak at the weekend.  It was a blast, but I was a little rusty⁶ having not given a club talk in 3 years.  It was a great time, the whole weekend felt very classy and professional just like a real YL camp week.

In November we received an invitation Kaitlin and Andy's wedding, instead of the traditional RSVP note card that asks you to check a box if you were planning on attending this invitation had a post card sized blank space with note on the top that says, "Please reply with number attending by November 28.  This is was we sent in⁶.

The first weekend in December my parents and I went down to Nashville Tennessee because my sister was throwing her boyfriend a surprise birthday party.  Despite the fact that she is, self-admittedly, a terrible liar Peter was still caught completely off guard.  It was great.  Also, weirdly, the night before the party my parents and I went to eat at a restaurant a block from our hotel.  When we were walking to our table I ran into David Pankake, a friend from IU that I hadn't seen in year, what a small world.

Mid-December marked the end of my tenure at Jackson Creek as I started a new job out at the Eastern Greene schools.  I will be filling in for a friend who will be on maternity leave until the end of April.  It is going to be exciting and exhausting.  I am guessing that the first four months of 2010 will fly by.

The first morning I awoke when I was home for Christmas I found that it had snowed about an inch and a half.  Two days after Christmas we had three inches plus.  On Christmas?  It rained, how lame.

When I got back from West Lafayette our house was a disaster area, which isn't all that surprising.  It is slowly getting back into shape.  I have been watching a lot of TV on DVD and enjoying my time off.  One of the things I did was continue to work on the end table/bottle cap art project.  I still have two rows to go, but it is looking really nice.  Two pictures are incoming.  One artsy and one to show the near-finished product.

So now it's the 31^st, not only does a new year start in less than 10 hours, but a new decade.  I think it will be a good one.  I'm hopeful about finding a new job, utilizing the gym membership that I just signed up for⁷, and seeing what God has planned for me.  Two things that I know will happen, I will finish the table, and I will have another long list of ridiculous things that will occur, many of which I will completely forget about.  But for now I am going to go grab a coffee with a friend, find something for dinner, take some allergy medicine, and head to Mike and Jessica's for another New Years Eve party, hopefully this year will start off a little better than the last.

Happy New Year, see you next decade!
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¹ Please note: it was not really a blizzard, and it might not have been January, I can't remember.
² This wasn't surprising, that jerk didn't replace our busted screens the entire year we lived there.
³ Line courtesy of Ferris Bueller.
⁴ I would have preferred Kelly Kapowski, but really who wouldn't?
⁵ Shameless self-promotion warning: Maine post.
⁶ Double sixes, aw crap.  Luckily they both involve the same person.  Talk editing and art work by Carrie Felton.
⁷ For as much as it cost I'd frickin better.

On Random Thoughts Part II: Holiday Edition 2009

In which we return to a previous concept, a ridiculous title is used as well as a record number of footnotes.

LED Christmas lights are a great idea; they don't get hot and consume less energy.  Unfortunately they look terrible compared to old school lights, only coming in strings of 60 lights (that's pretty short) and they are expensive.  Call me when you fix these problems.

Colleen¹ wants to hear my thoughts on the zombie apocalypse, I hit on that once but I can add to it.  Now I'm no expert, but I have seen some movies, played some games (video and board) and read some books on the subject of zombies.  Here are the three most important things to take care of.  1) Shelter, this is the most important piece.  You need to find a place that can be easily fortified, this means a limited number of low windows and a manageable amount of entry points (you will want more that one way in and out, but you need to know about them all).  2) Weapons, be smart about this.  A gun seems like a good idea, but it might be more trouble than it's worth, they are hard to keep clean, tough to use, and ammo might be difficult to find.  If you really want one I would suggest a shotgun, it's got a good blast radius and ammo should be easier to come by.  You will also want some sort of melee weapon, a bat, an axe, a hammer something you can swing.  Just know that they will break down over time, and the heavier they are the longer they will last but the slower you will be with them.  3) Supplies, you will need food and water to survive.  So searching for supplies will always require some bravery.  You may have to leave your shelter to head into infested areas, make sure you stick to places you are familiar with especially at first, and find a good balance of bring back enough stuff so you don't have to go out all the time but won't slow you down.  Canned foods will be your best friend.  Good luck out there.

My family and I went to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra yesterday.  It was pretty crazy.  Imagine a combination of Christmas music, rock-opera, 80's hair, laser/light/fire display and a full orchestra.  I had a great time but it would have been a little better if they hadn't played their non-Christmas stuff for a 1/3 of the show.  It's two days before Christmas, play Christmas music.

Sarah² asked me to write about the use of Vince Guaraldi music in Arrested Development, some of you might remember that was a show on my list of Top Five shows.  The use of Guaraldi's jazzy Charlie Brown Christmas music was used throughout the episode titled "Good Grief" is an example of why this show is so classic.  The highlight for me comes from the fact that in the back ground you can catch a glimpse of a beagle sleeping on the top of a red dog house.


Carrie³ want me to talk about our mice.  We had mice in our house.  They are gross.  We have killed two of them to date.  I'm hoping that is the end of it, but I doubt it.  That's all I have to say on the subject.

Lauren⁴ asked two things, I'm picking one.  The origin of "Pop Goes the Weasel."  Did you know there are over ten versions of the stupid song, some with many, many verses.  The oldest dates back to 1855.  I don't know where it came from, but I think it may have been a song about visiting prostitutes⁵.  Check it out:

Up and down the City Road

In and out the Eagle

That's the way the money goes

Pop! goes the weasel⁶.

Cameron would like to know if cows fall over and if they do can they get themselves up.  They do tip over (either from being pushed or falling when stumbling on a hill).  Smaller cows, calves, and steer can right themselves, most full grown cows can't.  Cows that can't get themselves up often die due to exhaustion and stress.  (This answer brought to you by Yahoo answers).

I have always enjoyed eggnog.  Despite how terrible it is for you.  I can usually handle about 4 glasses throughout the Christmas season (Thanksgiving-Christmas day).  Growing up I remember my grandfather drinking it after Christmas dinner, he always added rum and nutmeg.  I prefer bourbon⁷ and a nutmeg/cinnamon mixture in my nog.

Story-time interlude courtesy of my friend Kevin⁸.  Kevin and I grew up down the street from one another so we would hang out at one another's houses all the time.  One summer afternoon we were playing around with Snap-Pops and we got the bright idea to through them at passing cars, which we found hilarious.  It was all fun and games until we threw a few at a car and once it passed the house we saw the driver slam on the breaks and whip the car around.  I yelled to Kevin, "Run!" and took off around the side of the house and dove behind a small bush.  When I looked back at the driveway I realized that Kevin was still standing there in the middle of the driveway.  By this time the driver had pulled up to the base of the driveway and was screaming at Kevin.  I saw Kevin glance down at his shoes then turn his head slightly point to where I was and said, "Josh is in the bushes."  We still give him a hard time about it when he makes it back to Indiana.

My top four Christmas movies are, in this order, A Christmas Story, Die Hard, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, and Elf.  "Can't see the lines can you Russ?"

Whitney wants to know what video games would be the best/worst movies.  I would have said Silent Hill 2, but they tried that and it was a mess of studio meddling and wasted potential.  I think Metal Gear Solid, would have some cool potential if done right.  As for worst, Tetris.

"The Twelve Day's of Christmas" is a pretty ridiculous song.  My second favorite rendition of this song is by Straight No Chaser.  Here is a YouTube video of the song.  Please excuse the super-lame introduction.


Jon⁹ wants to know what my best/worst Christmas I ever got was.  I think my best gift was going with my dad to see Purdue play in 1998 Alamo Bowl against Kansas State.  State, ranked fourth in the nation, felt like they got snubbed by the BCS and ended up playing unranked Purdue.  Purdue jumped out to an early lead but Kansas State came back to take the lead 34-30 with just over a minute to go in the game.  But Purdue, led by freshman quarterback Drew Brees¹⁰ drove the field in just 54 seconds to score the game winning touchdown. It was spectacular.  I can't think of what the worst was.

Thank you to everyone who sent me topics to write about, it was a lot of fun.  I hope you all have an incredibly blessed Christmas and if you are traveling that you stay safe.  I've got to go watch Christmas Vacation with the family.

Merry Christmas!!
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¹ Delicious recipes found here: http://redwhiteandturkey.blogspot.com/
² I just started following Sarah, now you can too.  http://notwhollyinvain.blogspot.com/
³ Token Asian blog found here: http://thesaltyside.blogspot.com/
⁴ Warning don't go here unless you want to see super cute babies: http://majorscoop.blogspot.com/
⁵ I have no factual basis for this claim.
⁶ Come on, how is that not about visiting a prostitute?
⁷ Don't drink until you are 21 and even then please do so responsibly.
⁸ Kevin uses his blog responsibly to track his exercise routine, he is a much better person than I am. http://kevininc.com/
⁹ Jon has recently made a commitment to use footnotes more, a behavior I fully endorse. http://jonuebelhor.blogspot.com
¹⁰ You might have heard of him.

On Gaming and Charitying

In which we investigate an interest and introduce a great opportunity.


I am a member of the 'Nintendo Generation,' which according to one thing I read online constitutes those people "old enough to remember the Soviet Union¹ yet young enough to master the internet²."

Now I don't know if I fully agree with that definition but none the less I would say that I that is where I fall.  I remember the Christmas my sister and I got our NES, playing Mario while the cat batted at the screen, or jamming the Zapper right up to the screen when playing Duck Hunt.

Video games were a large part of my childhood and are an indelible part of my memories.  I love the fact that in Blades of Steal, if you get a fight the loser goes to the penalty box.  I learned that Japanese game cartridges are different from US ones when we tried to import Super Mario Bros. 3 when our friends were in Japan.  I remember my sixth grade class (the boys anyway) splitting down the middle civil war style and having the classic SNES v. Genesis argument, SNES all the way ps.  I know that if you plan on playing a Game Gear on the way from Indiana to Wisconsin and you don't have a car adaptor all six batteries will be dead with in an hour and a half.  I remember how stunned I was the first time I played Metal Gear Solid on the PlayStation and how many hours my friends and I spent playing Golden Eye for the N64, helicopter pilot for life yo.  I know that on 9/9/99 the Dreamcast came out, and I think I have only seen two in my whole life.  I remember skipping class when I got the call that there was an extra PS2 for me on launch day (don't worry dad I just skipped billiards).  I still remember Jeremy and I watching Brian play Silent Hill 2 and being absolutely terrified the whole time.  I know that I have never enjoyed Halo and found the Timesplitters series much more fun.  Just last weekend I stay up until 2am playing Mario Bros. Wii with a bunch of my friends.

I don't play video games as much as I used to.  But I think it will always something that I do, it's a part of who I am and I look forward to when I have kids of my own and if they are into games I can share that experience with them³.

When I got to college I started following an online comic strip that focused on a lot of videogame humor.  Published three times a week the strips are accompanied by postings by the author and the artist.  Often they will cover various topics that come up.  Back in 2003 they came across an article in the Seattle paper (where they are based) that made the claim that videogames were training kids to be killers.  This was certainly not the first such article and Gabe and Tycho (the authors) were tired of all videogamers being painted with the brush of sociopath time-bombs that would do little for society as a whole.  So they decided to do something about it.

They contacted Amazon.com and Seattle Children's Hospital to create a charity called Child's Play.  They asked their readers to visit the wishlist and purchase items for the hospital to use with the kids there would be there over the holidays.  In the month that the charity ran they managed to raise $250,000.  That's incredible, they were totally blown away, as were most people that followed it.  Even the guy that wrote the original article responded.  Most people probably would have said, "Job well done," and walked away but they decided to try again the next year.

In 2004 they added four additional hospitals and raised $310,000.  2005 saw the addition of 7 hospitals in the US as well as in Canada and England, that year they almost double their amount to $605,000.  In 2006 hospitals from Egypt, Australia and four more from the US were added and over a million dollars was raised, $1,024,000.  In 2007 a hospital in Hawaii and New Zealand were added the total amount raised was $1,300,000 was raised.  Last year $1,430,000 was raised.  Those are huge numbers.

This year, with time still remaining, Child's Play has already raised $1,302,367.  That's over 6 million dollars in a 7 year period.  That is simply amazing.

So in this holiday season if you find yourself with a little extra spending money I urge you to think about giving to Child's Play (but really the important thing is for you to give so find something you are passionate about and give a little back).  Follow this link and you can click on one of the many hospitals they serve and find out what needs they have.  Anything you buy is tax deductible and will be shipped straight to the hospital.

God bless, and have a happy holiday!

Oh yeah, it's not too late to suggest a topic for my holiday edition of random thoughts.  I will be writing that blog next week so get them in soon.

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A⁴


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¹I totally would draw tank fights as a kid that were USA vs. USSR.  Dirty commies.
²I kicked the internets butt all the way up and down its tubes.
³Always play age appropriate games, don't be one of those parents that gets their 6 year old GTA.
⁴Thirty lives, booyah!